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Stepping onto the patio, a wave of warmth washes over me. Fairy lights twinkle overhead, strung across the wisteria vines that cascade from the old oak tree. Laughter and chatter rise like a happy symphony, the melody punctuated by the clinking of glasses and the sizzle of the barbecue.
Elliot squeezes my hand reassuringly, the familiar gesture grounding me in the present moment. Everything seems a little fuzzy – a blur of hospital walls, concerned faces, and the constant nagging feeling that something important is missing. Yet, seeing the familiar faces of my squad gathered here, a smile tugs at the corners of my lips.
The backyard is transformed. Festoon lights in NYPD blue drape the patio fencing, casting an otherworldly glow on the gathering. Folding tables groan under the weight of a celebratory feast – trays overflowing with steaming pasta, mountains of potato salad, and platters laden with colourful crudités. A banner hangs above the entrance, proclaiming, "Happy Retirement, Captain Benson!" in bold, glittery letters.
It's surreal. Retirement. A word that used to seem so far off, a distant horizon on the path of my career. Now, it hangs heavy in the air, a bittersweet note in the symphony of emotions swirling within me. A pang of loss tugs at my heart – will I miss the adrenaline rush of the hunt, the camaraderie of the squad, the satisfaction of putting away a bad guy?
But then my eyes land on Fin, Carisi, and Amanda, their faces beaming with genuine affection. Across the way, my old Captain Cragen holds a framed photo, a ghost of a smile playing on his lips. They've become more than colleagues; they're family, a bond forged in the crucible of shared trauma and unwavering loyalty. And even if I can't fully recall all our shared experiences, the warmth in their eyes speaks volumes, and I immediately recognise the people I was so scared I'd forgotten forever.
Elliot pulls me closer, his arm wrapping around my waist. His familiar presence is a comfort, an anchor in this sea of uncertainty. He whispers in my ear, his voice laced with a tenderness that makes my heart skip a beat. "Ready to face your adoring fans, Captain?"
I laugh, a shaky sound, and nod. Maybe retirement won't be so bad after all. With Elliot by my side, my gorgeous children, this amazing team behind me, and the promise of new beginnings, this party feels less like an ending and more like an exciting new chapter. Taking a deep breath, I step forward, ready to embrace whatever this new future holds.
The cheers erupt as I walk into the heart of the party, Elliot's hand firmly in mine. Faces swim before me, a kaleidoscope of familiar smiles and warm greetings. Fin, his ever-present grin wider than usual, pulls me into a rib-crushing hug.
"Liv! Look at you, glowing!" he booms, his voice filled with genuine affection.
"Taking it all in, Fin," I reply, forcing a smile. My memory remains frustratingly fragmented, flashes of past cases and squad moments flickering like half-forgotten dreams.
Carisi, his normally soft brow crinkled with concern, offers a more subdued greeting. "Captain Benson," he says, his voice tinged with a sadness I don't quite understand. "Good to see you back on your feet."
