Chapter 5

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I had always imagined that the claiming of my maidenhead would end with words like "that was amazing" or some variation of it. Not "we can't do that again. Not for some time." And although I would love to disagree, I know that I can't.

"I know," I reply.

Cullen sighs softly and kisses my cheek. "I'm sorry, Samira. Believe me, I wish we could change this. But we must tread lightly; if anyone finds out, your life would be in danger. The Avvar are dedicated people. If we have children, it is our duty to raise them, and with the person we had them with. Our marriages don't last long, but raising our blood lasts much longer than untying marriage knots. If Floria's child just so happens to be mine, I will have to marry her. And that leaves you as my concubine. Unless you return to- where is the Inquisition located?" He asks.

"Skyhold," I answer. When his eyes widen, I ask "what's wrong?"

"Skyhold used to be an Avvar settlement. It was abandoned long ago. But I'm glad to know that it is in good use," he replies. Cullen kisses my forehead before getting up. His naked backside faces me as he gathers his clothes for the day. "If you can, join me in the throne room at noon. We can spend some time together in between my duties."

After he dresses and cleans himself, he kisses me, then leaves for work. I pull the blanket up to my chest. My virginity, gone, and the man who took it has left to assume his role as Thane. "Now what?" I whisper, touching my face. My sunkissed fingers graze my vallaslin, the light blue markings standing out against bronze skin.

With a sigh, I roll myself out of bed and I silently get dressed. The smooth leather of my clothes covers my body, blocking out the frigid air. I tangle my long fingers in my raven hair, combing it out. It can't look like I've had sex with him. Nobody can know about it. When I leave Cullen's quarters, Vera catches up with me.

"That bitch Floria. How dare she? And she knows it isn't-"

"You don't believe her either," I mutter.

"Of course not! She's a power hungry whore. I know who she has bedded. I even told the hunters not to bring her in, but Cullen decided to give her a chance," she continues.

"Cullen believes the child isn't h-"

"Of course it's not! I keep track of who the Thane beds, and when it happens. Floria can't lie about that," Vera interrupts.

"If you know, then show me the records. Cullen wants me to find evidence that the child isn't his. I'm supposed to start looking today, but he wants me to meet him at 12," I say.

Vera smiles when I tell her this, and she quickly leads me to a secret room. "I keep track of when Cullen is intimate and who he gets intimate with. That's my job," Vera explains. She pulls out an Avvar calendar and points to dates with different colored markings, telling me about how each color represents the five different women. "Yours is gold. Because I think you're the golden one; the one perfect for the Thane," she says with a slight blush.

She really wants him to pick me. And she's only known me for a few days. Are the other women just terrible, or am I the best fit? Vera guides me through the charts, gathering and compiling paper after paper for evidence.

Vera dismisses me after some time, and I scurry down the hallway, clutching the papers to my chest. I almost make it to my room, but someone grabs my hood and yanks me back. The papers scatter when I fall. "So, you're the one Cullen's been fucking," a high-pitched voice snarls. I look up to see emerald green eyes.

In any part of Thedas, Floria would be considered beautiful. Waist length auburn hair, large breasts that any man would want to grab and squeeze, an hourglass shape, and a light dusting of freckles across her pale skin. In comparison to her, I'm nothing. She is the ivory tower that men covet; I'm just a dark skinned elf.

"Answer me, knife ear. Cullen's been fucking you, hasn't he? Well, I can guarantee that every time he cums, he's thinking of me," she sneers, grabbing my chin with her long, sharp nails. With a smirk, Floria releases me and walks away. Silently, I gather the papers, tears in my eyes. I have literally done nothing to her, and this is what I get?

I don't want to have another encounter anytime soon, so I hurry back to my room to hide the documents. But when I open my door, my heart almost stops. The room is literally trashed. Everything I own has been slashed, and my bedroll is cut up beyond recognition. The worst part of it is the crudely carved "knife ear" that appears on the pillow. It's also scrawled on the wall.

A passing maid notices this, and sprints down the hallway for help. I sink to my knees. "Why?" I whisper, holding the papers tighter. The maid returns with Cullen, along with the other afoka women and Vera.

"Come here," Cullen whispers, offering me his hand. I reluctantly take it and he pulls me up, holding me to his chest. "We will find out who did this. In the meantime, Samira will stay in my room, under my protection. The other women will remain in lockdown until the culprit is found. Or, if someone confesses," he snarls, eyes focused on Floria.

The other women are dismissed, except for Vera. She helps me carry the papers back to Cullen's room. "My Lord, Samira has asked for my assistance with a certain issue. This is some of the paperwork that will help in our endeavors," Vera says.

Once we reach his quarters, Cullen asks Vera to bring us some food, taking the papers from her. When she leaves, he turns to his advisor and guards, asking the guards to investigate the vandalism, and his advisor to postpone his meetings until tomorrow.

"Samira, what does knife ear mean?" Cullen asks, purring the documents aside. I cringe a bit, but I tuck my onyx locks behind my pointed, caramel ears.

"It's a slur used by the rest of Thedas. It's degrading to elves," I answer.

Cullen sighs sadly and pulls me into a hug, his muscular arms tightening around my small frame. "I'm sorry. We have no real evidence that Floria did it, so I can't send her away yet. We will soon, though. With that, and the proof that her child isn't mine, the gods will ensure that she will be punished. For now, we should spend some time together," he says.

We lay together on his bed, talking about everything and nothing. Occasionally, he will rise to pull a book from his collection, asking me to read for him. Vera comes by every so often to drop off food and clothes, but otherwise we are not disturbed. Cullen and I fall asleep in each other's arms, curled up under the blankets.

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