Heal Me (Completed)

But Why?

Later that same day
Time:2:30pm

After I left Diamond's office, I decided to get me some lunch because evidently I worked up an appetite. Diamond is coming over after she leaves her office because we are supposed to talking about why she doesn't do relationships.

I know that we aren't in a relationship but I want to cook for her and make it feel special so that we have something to do and it doesn't just feel awkward. I decided to cook one of my favorite meals to make; honey baked garlic salmon with baked Mac and cheese and shrimp.

I already went to the grocery to get everything because I knew I wanted to cook for her already. The way she put it down, she deserves a meal. I went into the kitchen to prep everything because she said that she's planning to leave the office around 4 or 5pm.

Some time later
Time: 4:45pm

I finally finished getting ready and I finished at the right time because she said she was on her way to me. I decided to fix both of our plates just so that it could be ready when she gets here and all we had to do was sit down and eat.

By the time I finished fixing our plates and setting them up my ring camera went off signaling that motion was at my door and I went to unlock it. "Heyyy, how are you?" "I'm good, how are you" "I'm good" "it smells good in here, what you made?" She said. " I made us some honey garlic salmon, shrimp and baked Mac and cheese,let's eat before it gets cold." "Say less, let me wash up and I'll be there."

As she went to go wash up, I sat down and waited for her to join me and soon after she came back. "How was work today?" I asked her. "Work was very interesting, I can't really get into the details cause you know HIPAA but yea it was interesting to say the least." "Understandable."

Some time later...

After we finished eating I set the dishes in the dishwasher to be washed and I went back over to the table so that we could talk. "So, are you ready to talk?" "Sure." "Ok, I don't know where to start but I guess the number one question for me is why you don't seem to like committed relationships?"

She took a deep sigh and said " when I was younger I stayed getting my heartbroken, I would always get cheated on, used, abused (mentally and physically),  and through it all I stayed. It wasn't until a few years back that I said that I was completely done with relationships. This girl by the name of Hailey abused me, she told me I was worthless, that I wasn't going to be anything in life and that she wished I died. So after that I ran away and I vowed that I wasn't going to do relationships anymore because I got tired of being abused." She looked down as she finished.

"No offense but if we're tired of being abused what made you get into bdsm and all this stuff with contracts?" I was genuinely confused. "Well, I was always technically into BDSM just not to this extent, after I said that I was done with relationships, I still wanted to have dealings with women just not romantically, I guess I just take my frustrations on other people and seeing other pple screaming out in a mix of pleasure and pain does something to me."

I had so many other questions but I don't know what to ask or even how to ask. "But everybody isn't the same though." I told her. "I know everybody not the same but when you have been hurt so much you become numb to feeling feelings for people, my feelings turned off after my last relationship." "I guess that's understandable, but how are you going to be a therapist but can't solve your own problems?"   "I mean I can admit I do need help but I can't be my own therapist, I just don't know where to start or even I even want that for myself right now." "Well whenever you're ready, I'm here."