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The atmosphere throughout the theater was surprisingly so calming. Despite the number of reporters and higher ups of the entertainment industry that gathered to see the first viewing, it still somehow felt intimate.
I was overcome with so much nervous energy on the way over here. Having to walk the red carpet contributed to this also. Despite it being 20 years since I been in the industry, I still hadn't gotten used to it.
The paps would literally shout at you to turn this and that way and it brought me even more anxiety. I was also anxious to hear everyone's takeaways but even more anxious to be in the same vicinity of so many industry greats as well.
Many of the people here were going to be writing think pieces that would affect what the turn out of crowds would be once in theaters.
I had said it so many times how I hoped it not only left viewers feeling empowered but also shone light on the importance of imagination, resilience and most importantly, forgiveness.
Once I stepped foot in the theater however, all that anxiety slowly dissipated. Everyone I was stopped and greeted by did so with so much enthusiasm for the film which made me relax a little bit.
And once the viewing began, it brought me so much joy to see and hear their reactions. The excitement and even the sadness.
I found myself watching their faces more than I watched the movie. I was however tuned into the slightly heavier scenes. The table reads, rehearsals and actual shooting of them always put me in a certain negative headspace. Back to the Tasia I was a little over a decade ago.
Watching now however, I was able to separate the acting from my real life. It wasn't weighing on me as heavily as it did before.
For me, that signified that I was in fact supposed to do this film. Even though it required me to put my therapy journey on hold, in the end it did bring me healing.
The movie closed out with them playing I'm Here , the movie poster overtaking the big screen.
They had asked the cast and directors to all gather at the front for a curtain call. I was struggling like hell. My dress was not only tight fitting but long. And I had on high ass heels. I had to make shorter strides and was absolutely struggling to do so.
Once I was up there though, I greeted everyone, noticing Taraji still hadn't found her way.
I continued to mingle with everyone else. They all showered me with praises that of course made me start to tear up
Coleman's words especially seeing as we had to play the heavier roles.
"You look so gorgeous Tasia!" Ciara, who stood beside me, pulled me into a side hug after she was done with her previous conversation
She looked great. In a tailored pantsuit with gold specks all over her protruding baby bump. Truth be told, she looked as if she was gonna give birth any day now so I saluted her for even being present at the premiere.
"Me?" I questioned "Girl you look like a Goddess! Got the belly out and all"
My eyes scanned the theater for like the third time, trying to see if I could spot Raji yet but it was to no avail
"Where's Taraji?" I asked into the open
Before anyone could answer though, I saw as she swiftly turned a corner and ran through the crowd.
My eyes settled on her gorgeous face first, connecting with hers that were already locked on me.
I then took in her entirety - eyeing the little black dress that looked painted onto her body.
The sleeves - off the shoulder, a floral pattern donning them and the top of the dress, teasing her cleavage.
She had her hair up, in a 90s type bun and had a hanging snake necklace that brought even more attention to her chest.
The theater erupted into cheers and applauses as she became visible to them.
She ran up the stairs - with Blitz's help and immediately engulfed me in a hug "You look so good mama" I mumbled into her ear "What took you so long?"
"Thank you, baby. You're so beautiful! And I had to change out of my first dress. Shit took forever to get off!"
She then turned to hug Blitz and we all locked hands before bowing three times.
It was like the applause got even louder. I felt so proud. Proud of the cast and proud of myself. For pushing my boundaries and going out of my comfort zone. Because not only did it result in this beautiful and empowering film. By doing this, I gained such wonderful friends.
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yesssss ik this one was short. but i feel like this was the perfect place to end it, no? plus, i think the next chapter should stand alone 😉😗
