Nobody's daughter ~ Yrkkh Musings

5. Twelve Sunflowers~ OS

By the tranquil lake's edge, where whispers of waves usually weave peace in the soul's hidden caves, Abhira stood staring at the lavender and orange hues of the sky blending into one another, as anxiety gripped her like a hurricane's tragic and graceful dance. Rihaan brought her here on days when she got overwhelmed after her therapy sessions, and gave her the company of his comforting silence. She often seeks solace in the noise of the rising and falling tides, a familiar lullaby but today even the nature's symphony couldn't quell the anguish rising within her. This was her sanctuary, yet today she could find no respite. It was times like these when Abhira wished she could fade away- anything to stop this ever-present pain.

She looked at Rihaan, at a distance with the balloon maker, probably convincing him to make a balloon bunny to cheer her up, and she felt a sudden pang of guilt. Rihaan... something about him was so liberating and so calming, it scared Abhira. He was in love with her, and maybe a part of her knew so was she, but then a significant part of her had embraced the emptiness that seemed to swallow her whole entire existence. She had embraced the hollowness that she was left with after she left the Poddar mansion. But accepting these hollows must make her more human, then must being human imply sadness? For her, maybe, sadness and grief was all that tied her to mortality.

It scared her, that the universe has a habit of destroying the things she treasures, and she thinks, if she is not careful, she could come to treasure him. Love always leaves you...it as inevitable as the sun setting at the end of the day and the glue on the posted notes- fading away. And you are always left alone- like a broken poetry, shattered to the core. Abhira has been left alone twice, she would manage, but Rihaan was a gentle breeze, a beautiful flower in the swamp, would she have it in her to trample his heart? What if she inevitably does, because when was she capable of having a home that would last?

Rihaan walked towards Abhira, hoping to cheer her up with his poor attempt at helping the balloon seller in making a bunny. He smiled as if there was no peak of his surprise from behind his back, unaware how the balloon was visible right above his head. But as he closed the distance between them, each step felt as if he was entering into the vicinity of her palpable grief. He has seen her upset before, even seen her cry a few times but something felt excruciatingly heavy today, as if there's was a creature spitting and writhing within her, craving it's escape, a pain that has never found it's way out of her soul. Her eyes were distant, as if there was just a void behind them. He carefully walked towards her and gently cupped her face. "Hey, look at me Abhira. Tell me, what happened?" But she refused to speak. Her hand grasped Rihaan's shirt, close to his heart.

He softly held her hand, and spoke, "Talk to me Abira. Did I do something?" That made Abhira look at Rihaan, her breath hitched at the raw display of sorrow on his face...her sorrow, a sorrow that he didn't deserve to feel and suddenly the ache in her heart felt too much too bare, as if her ribs were cages forcibly holding her grief in place.

Her chest burns, breaths shallow and labored as the world seems to dissolve, the past mixing with the present, taunting her with a blank and empty future, and she can't determine if she's ten playing hide seek with her Mummaa, if she's embracing death with her Mumma, if she's crying herself to sleep in Armaan's room, if she's back at the Poddar house listening to their taunts and insults, or if she's at the lakeside on a freezing day with a beautiful man looking at her as if her eyes hold all the stars from the empty night sky.

He didn't deserve to drown in this abyss. Before she knew, her knees gave away and lost consciousness, and sagged against Rihaan, unable to tolerate more of this sheer ache and agony.

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As Rihaan sat on the bed, in room holding her close, his mind ran through all the possibilities that could have caused her this amount of distress. Despite her state she had clutched his shirt in a vice grip and that scared him. It was a habit she had developed over time, clutching his shirt when she was nervous or scared. Initially he would find it cute but when he gradually understood her need to find herself an anchor but at the same time her reluctance to make a demand, broke his heart.