Nobody's daughter ~ Yrkkh Musings

7.4 Abhi mujhme kahin~ SS

Abhira stood in front of the mirror, combing through her tangled hair, getting ready for her exam. But with every cell in her body she avoided glancing at her reflection in the mirror, because these days it felt like a tragedy would stare back at her, an aftermath of something unwanted. She couldn't find that admiration and confidence that she held within her, for herself. In fact, it felt ugly, to look at her hollowed eyes, that felt like someone had cut from an old magazine and pasted it on her face. She hated the frail woman that stared back at her with accusations in her eyes, blaming her for being too greedy for love and home, when she knew she belonged nowhere.

In that moment, she could feel a version of her drowning in the deep dark ocean of her mind, a place where her nightmares are blended with memories, to an extent that she doesn't know anymore which terrible version of truth she lives through every day. Abhira was on the ebb of spiralling again, when a hesitant knock on the door pulled her out of her stupor and she prompted the person to come in.

Krish was hesitant to meet Abhira due to his guilt of being unable to stand up for her, especially when she has always been there for him. But he knew she needed someone to remind her that she was cared for and his care for her would always surpass any other emotions that may change his approach towards her. If he were honest, he had started to detest his family, also because for a significant portion of his life he has been under his father's storm, with a hurricane of anger raging within him towards his cruelty. And if the last few days have made him realise anything, it was that the rest of the family was no different, they were all the same monster he has been trying to fight his whole life. And as much as it broke him, to realise how he has been living within these glass walls made by the elders of his family, he was filled with the determination to not become one of them.

"Bhabhi...", he approached her carefully. Each step treaded with trepidation as the emptiness in Abhira's eyes gnawed at him. This was the same woman who had fought for his dreams, with her extraordinary ideas, and that ever present kind and innocent glint in her eyes, and not finding that part of her in her gaze anymore scared him.

Abhira just looked at him in anticipation, perhaps out of habit, expecting another person she held close to crush something within her but his gesture shook her to the core. He gently held her wrist and tied the sacred red thread around it.

"I went to the temple in the morning to pray for you. You have an exam today, don't you?", he smiled at her.

And for a moment their Abhira's vision distorted, a part of her brain confusing his genuine kindness with the her past delusion. Was he for real? And she stared at him with an expression that broke Krish's heart, as if this kindness and care was a city that she never belonged to.

"I know how important this is for you, and despite everything that has been going on, I know you have the courage to keep going, to move forward and accomplish all your dreams. You...are the strongest person I know, you are a phoenix and I hope you realise the power you hold", he spoke to her fondly.

When you have been living in a house where things are broken at every step you take forward and accusatory screams echo in every corner, respite looks like a far fetched dream. Abhira knew she would only fail to form a coherent sentence, scared if she tried to arrange her syllables she would choke up on her attempt and allow her grief to spill. So with tears glistening at the edge of her eyes, she hesitantly hugged the one person who seemed to find an alive human in her and whispered a thank you.

As she pulled away, Krish smiled at her and began to leave.

"Krish...", she called him, making him turn, the tears in his eyes too evident for her to ignore.

"I...I am not your bhabhi anymore", Abhira didn't know why she said that, especially right now. Perhaps to not deprive her heart of the devastation it was expecting, of being disowned yet again now that she existed without an actual relationship that tied her to this family.