Sirius does not know if he can ever get over this man. Tall, light brown hair with a little curl to the ends, freckles, and the softest looking lips ever. He is smart, and funny, and everything Sirius could ever want. He is a book nerd, and oh Merlin when he scrunches his nose when he reads something he hates it makes Sirius go wild. The smirk the tallest of the boys makes when he reads something he likes or a character did something he would love, it's the most hottest shit ever.
This man Sirius was obsessing over was no other than Remus John mother fucking Lupin, Moony, his second best mate.
Today in English he made him scared. Or technically after English. It was so cute. He did the thing with his eyes, where the pupil gets big and he starts blinking, starts looking around the room, to look at anything besides the person making him feel like this.
Sirius observes, watches, notices details. Everyone expects him to not care, but he does, so much. He's been noticing Remus since first year. Sirius always knew he liked guys. Telling people was the problem.
When he whispered in Moony's ear telling him how perfect he is, he felt Remus shiver. He loves that, he loves knowing he made him feel like that, not anyone else, just him.
Late at night when he is all by himself in his bed, he replays all the moments he had with Remus that day, and each time he thinks about them he likes to pretend Remus is his, that they are dating, and happy, happy together. He likes to imagine that life, where him and Moony could happily be together with no threats or people hurting them. He pretends that Remus touching his hand was on purpose, that he feels the same way. He pretends Remus getting excited by the sight of Sirius was intentional and he has feelings. He likes to pretend that after English class, after that moment they had they went to the astronomy tower and looked at the sky and laughed, cried of laughter, and shared secrets and had secret kisses. He likes to pretend his chances with him are high and that the chance actually happened.
He could never tell anyone this. He needs some secrets. He has many, but this one is one he likes to keep close with him. One he could forever smile at the thought of, or cry. He cries over this. But oh Merlin it makes him so happy.
Whenever he sees Remus he feels warm. When his hair is a little messed up, his cardigans, when he is scrunched up on the couch reading and he is so focused. He imagines that one day Remus will focus on him like that, like Sirius is one of his books.
The school day is over. He is in his bed at James's house, where he lives. He ran away when he was 15. The abuse got too much.
He is looking at the ceiling, thinking and thinking about Remus.
Sometimes he touches his lip piercing and fiddles with it, and imagines it's Remus doing that. He is desperate, he knows it, he just wished Remus also knew it, or anyone knew at this point.
He is all alone with these thoughts, and he likes it, but he's all alone. He wishes he could tell James.
He is touching the lip piercing, it is still sensitive even though he has had it for two years. He got it when he was drunk, when he was 14. James thought it would be fun to steal the whiskey and get drunk off our asses. James being a lightweight got drunk after one or two sips. Sirius being able to take it drowned in bottles and bottles of the whiskey. He left the house and went to the piercing shop where he got all his other piercings. He regretted it but soon fell in love. He thought it made him look cool, his parents however hated it. Beat him for it. He still has the scar from the knife that night.
The door opens with a creak.
"Sirius, Moons is coming over in a little. We're going out to the hogshead for a drink." James said, peaking his head in the room. His twinkling blue eyes shining, his smile bright as ever. Why can't he be more like Prongs?
"I'll come." Any chance to see Remus made him giddy
"Perfect. Can I come in?" His best friend asked.
Sirius motioned his head to signal yes.
Prongs walked over taking long strides. He sat on the bed. Crossing his legs, putting his elbows on his knees, placing his jaw and chin on the palms of his hands. He started batting his eye lashes at Sirius. That means he's gonna ask for something or ask something very personal.
"What is it, Honeybee?" Sirius used their names they have for each other. Him and James like to mock old married couples, mostly just Effie and Monty. Effie always told Sirius he was like the her and James was like Monty. So they started playing old married couple whenever one of the two thought Effie and Monty were funny or kissing in the kitchen. Sirius calls James Honeybee and James calls Sirius Munchkin.
"Oh, Munchkin, I feel like you're cheating on me." James faked cried, his palms now rubbing over his eyes.
"What? Honeybee, what are you talking about?" Sirius actually felt confused.
"I see the way you look at him, I'm so hurt. Why am I not enough?" He now broke character and started grinning.
Sirius looked at James, flustered, confused. And that's all it took, James started cackling.
"No, James, I'm actually confused. What're you talking about? Who are you talking about?"
"Remus of course. I saw the 'English class' incident."
Sirius turned bright red. Embarrassment and worry slowly spreading up his neck and to his cheeks. No way, he was caught, and he never thought he would be.
"You're hiding something, Pads, and you just got caught." His best friend said with a smirk.
ANOTHER CHAPTERRRR
WORD COUNT: 1000
have a nice day
xoxo, forest
