Something Gained: A Billionaire Romance

Chapter: 57

RYLAN

Elena’s fingertips were white from how hard she was gripping the corner of the lectern. She had hardly let out a few words before her throat grew too tight to speak. I was out of my seat the moment she sought me out with her eyes and making my way to her.
    
She immediately clutched onto the arm I had protectively wrapped around her. Her shallow breath hit the skin at my neck. I walked her back to where her family was. Olivia cast Elena a sympathetic, more of a sad gaze. Roger’s death was hard on everyone, especially when they thought that he was recovering. Dean delivered the eulogy which had Talia sniffing. Elena on the other hand didn’t shed a single tear through the service.
...................
My eyes slid to my wife as she stared outside the car window. She had been impossibly unresponsive since the news of her miscarriage and that was really concerning me. I couldn’t just let her slip into depression and I was worried that she was on the verge of.
    
On reaching home, Elena silently made her way to our bedroom. She had insisted that she slept in a separate bedroom for a few days. I outright rejected. Apart from the fact that staying away from her was a punishment, I couldn’t trust her to be all by herself. She was beside herself with grief and she meant too much for me to even entertain the thought of losing her.
    
“Daddy.” My eyes fell on Ava. She waddled her way to me from the kitchen. Her eyes were glazed with unshed tears.
    
I crouched down in front of her. “What happened, sweetheart?”
    
“Mommy is angry with me.” Her lips wobbled as she said it.
    
“Why will she be angry with you?”  I asked even though I had a rough idea what triggered this. Ava shook her head, a few teardrops falling down.
    
“I don’t know.”
    
I sighed before picking her up and walking towards the couch. Sitting down, I settled her between my legs and wiped the tears with the pad of my thumb. “What made you think that?”
    
“Mommy doesn’t kiss me goodnight anymore. She didn’t even look at me now.” Ava sniffed rubbing at her eyes with her tiny palms. It stung to see my little girl this upset. I hated seeing her cry. Another sigh escaped my lips.
    
“It’s not like that, sweetheart! Mommy is just really sad.” She stared up at me through her wet lashes.
    
“Because Grandpa became a star?”
    
I nodded, pushing back the hair strands from her face. “Give her some time, okay?”
    
She wetted her lips before responding with a small “Okay.”

I was awake lying on my side. Rylan wasn’t sleeping either, figured from his uneven breathing. There was at least a foot distance between us. I knew he was hurting too but I was too fucking lost to be there for him. Lost under the weight of everything and there was no one I could blame for anything. It was all on me. The guilt was slowly suffocating me.
    
“Talk to me.”
    
I stiffened, not realizing that I was holding my breath. I let it out when his fingers gently weaved through my hair.
    
“Look at me, Love.” I did. Rylan’s soft command compelled me to turn around. Those warm brown orbs always did comfort me.
    
“I can’t see you like this. And there’s very little I can do if you shut me out like this.”
    
His voice held a certain helplessness that I wouldn’t have ever expected from him. He had always been so composed, so in control. Staring at him, I felt this tightness in my chest. Another beat of silence passed between us before I scooted closer to him. Rylan wrapped his arm around me, bringing me closer to his side.
    
I sighed at the warmth his skin radiated.
    
“Rylan, I—” I cut myself off, the words stuck in my throat.
    
“Say it. Get it off your chest.” He ran his hand up and down my arm, urging me on.
    
“I feel guilty, Rylan. So fucking much!”
    
“For what?”
    
“I was so knee-deep in my insecurities and minor inconveniences that I didn’t spare enough time to spend with my dad. I got so busy with my life, I failed him Rylan. I knew he was sick, didn’t I?” The last statement was almost a mumble. I couldn’t afford to say it out aloud.
    
“You knew he was recovering. We all did. The doctors said he was making progress. This was unexpected. Life is unpredictable like that.” Rylan’s voice was composed, firm like he was sure of every word that came out of those lips. That was such a stark contrast to my state of mind. I had never known such composure in my life.
    
“I didn’t get to tell him the truth, Rylan. I lied to him about us, this marriage, the deal. I didn’t get the chance to confess and ask for his forgiveness.” My words faded into absolute silence. We lay staring at the ceiling for a good few seconds.
    
“There’s always another way to look at everything.” Rylan broke the silence. “How would your Dad have felt about the truth? He would’ve been heartbroken. He died knowing you’re happily married to the love of your life.”
    
My breath faltered as I thought his words over. Fingers came under my chin and made me look up at Rylan.
    
“Tell me, Love, do I make you happy?” His arm around me tightened ever so slightly. I craved that touch like it was the only thing grounding me.
    
“You do.”
    
“And you love me?” His voice had dropped an octave, those lashes looking even more beautiful from here. A shiver traveled up my spine.
    
“Yes.” I agreed. If there was one thing I was totally sure of, it was my feelings for this man. I loved him more than anything, there was no doubt about it.
    
“There, you have your truth .” His thumb caressed my cheek as his intense gaze was fixed on me. It was as if he was staring into my soul. But again my soul was only ever his to stare at.