‧₊°🖇️✩₊"𝓊𝓃𝓅𝑜𝓅𝓊𝓁𝒶𝓇"‧₊°🖇️✩₊

⋆｡‧˚ʚ𝐼 𝒸𝒶𝓃𝓉 𝒻𝒶𝓁𝓁 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓎𝑜𝓊..ɞ˚‧｡⋆

𝒽𝑒𝓁𝓁𝑜 𝓂𝓎 𝓈𝓌𝑒𝑒𝓉 𝒞𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝐵𝑒𝒶𝓇𝓈!! 𝒾𝓂 𝒷𝒶𝒸𝓀 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽 𝒶𝓃𝑜𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇 𝓅𝒶𝓇𝓉 <𝟥𝟥𝟥𝑒𝓃𝒿𝑜𝓎! ( & leave ur feedback! ) .𖥔 ݁ ˖

muzan: I closed snapchat and pretended to re-light my cigarette, eyeing next to me, making sure not to turn my head and gain suspicion from any bystanders, or acting like a stalker. (you're way too paranoid muzan, just ask him out.) and sure enough, he was sitting on the bench right next to the streetlamp next to the bench I was sitting on. I scratched at the chipping paint on the old bench I was sitting on and strategized how not to have a fucking heart attack at the moment. 'just keep your cool around him like you always do, muzan.. ah, but you're alone right now!! what if hes drunk and tries to assault me or something-!? no, muzan. hes a nice guy. hes really not that mean. you've slightly interacted with him before..' I sighed as I listened to 'iris (Natalie Taylor)' in my EarPods. 'im getting way too anxious..' I picked up my phone again and texted akaza. I didn't want them to hang out without me, especially with the man id barely ever talked to, but was madly in love with. I knew he apologized to me and acted like he somewhat cared for my shitty well-being, but I wished I could build up the god given courage some people had to talk to a boy as handsome as he. but I knew falling for him would only cause me issues. I knew akaza liked kokushibo too. it was clear. plus, akaza probably freaked out when he saw that kokushibo liked shorter men. akaza was two whole inches shorter than me, so of course that gave him an edge over me, and I also heard that kokushibo allegedly liked boys with either blonde, brown, red, short hair, and he liked guys with straight hair. I heard from his friend daki that he said guys with black hair were boring. but she hates me, so I really didn't know how True that was. but based on his alleged reputation, I was ready to believe all of it. my hair was black and long, and wavy. id also heard he liked guys with clean skin and wider shoulders, and thicker legs, along with straight waists, and with thicker necks. that was the exact opposite of my body. I knew it would only cause trouble with me, because I was insecure to begin with. that was one of the things I found attractive about gyutaro, even though I don't like him, he still said he docent have specific tastes for what's on a man, he just thought it was the whole picture that mattered when it came to looks. if you were pretty altogether, you were pretty, and if you were ugly altogether, you were ugly. nothing more to it, really. and my confidence spiked a little after that, especially given gyutaro would call me pretty over text a number of times. I also wasnt ready to tell akaza that doma (the only friend of kokushibo and akazas that I was even remotely friendly with, not to mention..), had been hitting on me over snapchat recently. but that stayed between me and doma, even though I wasnt really attracted to doma either. I was only attracted to kokushibo. even though his over-text apology seemed in no way genuine to me, he was still my childhood crush. he probably hated me and just felt bad for ruining his reputation or something. but that was okay. he was all id ever needed in my life, my ecstasy, my main focus in life, my future husband, my one and only. 

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muzan: 'sorry akaza, I didn't see him here. I looked all over for you.'

akaza: 'awe, its okay! dw abt it! syt! btw doma says hi!'

muzan: 'tell him I say hi too. gn.'

akaza: 'gn muzan!!'

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muzan: I hearted his message and sighed, burning out my cigarette on my wrist and throwing it away, tucking my lighter back in my pocket. "im a terrible friend.." I looked up at the starry sky. 

kokushibo: "what makes you think that..?" the unrecognizable boy sitting next to me on the bench id moved to because of the bird shit on the other one jolted up, dropping his already cracked phone on the concrete and scrambling to pick it back up. I laughed as he blushed and looked at his feet as he jittered a little, gripping his barely broken phone in his hands. "hahah.. sorry if I scared you. are you alright?" I put my hand on the mans shoulder and he jolted again. he gave off an anxious aura. 

muzan: "erm.. yes, im alright. sorry." I said, quietly. I was confused as to where he came from in the first place, honestly. but he genuinely seemed kind, at least in the moment.so I brushed it off.

kokushibo: I chuckled and sighed, exhaling my cigarette and burning it out, throwing it away and putting my lighter back in my hoodie pocket. I looked at the boy, and admired him for a second. his hair was really pretty. I loved black hair, especially when it was long and wavy. I could only see his nose from outside his scarf, which covered his mouth, jaw, and chin. he had a cute straight nose, and I could see his long eyelashes as he looked down at the ground nervously. he seemed really familiar for some strange reason, though. maybe it was because he looked like someone I couldn't yet put my finger on. someone id seen recently I accidentally glanced at his phone, and saw a name on there I recognized. the contact he had opened said akaza. I knew akaza, and we were decently good friends, even though I could tell he was majorly attracted to me.. which I could reciprocate, unfortunately. though he was short, like my type in guys, he really didn't fit any other of my standards. I liked guys with long, curly or wavy black or dark brown hair, with soft jaws and cute noses, full lips, long lashes, thin arms and shoulders that weren't too wide, skinny, but not too skinny. I generally liked guys with curvier waists, and platonically thinner thighs, but I didn't care too much. as long as you were cute, that's all that mattered at that moment. but the guy I was looking at right now fit al of my standards perfectly somehow. I looked at the texts again, him not noticing, cause he was noticeably shorter than I was. I saw the name muzan on the last text akaza sent. my eyes widened. "..muzan..?" he sighed, gritting his teeth and grunting, starting to get up, but I pulled him back down. "please.. muzan.." for the first time, I looked in his eyes as he turned to me and looked up at me as I gripped his hand tightly. I had to admit. id never seriously noticed it before, but there was not a doubt in my mind that he was the most gorgeous man id ever seen in my whole life. his eyes were just a perfect fuchsia color. I could almost feel them consuming my soul by the moment, I got so lost in them. "just listen to me.. real quick." he sighed and slightly gripped my hand back, his cheeks turning bright red. my cheeks heated up and I took both of his hands, holding them together with both of mine and squeezed them, warming his cold hands up. he nodded, not daring to speak a word to me. I needed to justify myself here. it really was now or never. "im begging.. im begging you to believe me when I say I didn't mean a single word I said to you." he choked and looked up at me, in slight emotional warmth. "ill do anything to make you believe me. I feel terrible for talking to someone as kind as you that way.. and I swear id never remotely say anything in that manner about you if they weren't around.. im sorry I was so scared of judgment that it affected you." I choked back my tears of anguish and guilt as I squeezed his hand and bowed my head to him. he didn't say a word. he just looked at me in utter awe, not knowing what to say to my sudden emotional confession. "I know you're the first person i've talked to about that fear.. but I feel like I can trust you.. you're kind.. you're calm.. and you honestly seem like you'd be.. a really cool person to spend time with. I've looked at you a lot.. and I really think you're just really-"

muzan: "im sorry, kokushibo. I cant do this right now." he choked and gasped as I shook my hands free and escaped from his warm grasp. it broke my heart, but it would be far more broken if id spent that time forgiving and falling deeper into the hole of undying affection for that man. he couldn't understand for a single moment how strongly I felt about him. I longed for him. he was an asset I needed to thrive. and I just walked away from a reconciliation in him. how stupid of me.