What We See, What We Forget

Part 14

The glimmering lights of idol life set in the trainee phase filled my heart with everlasting joy. I had already made and started all my social media accounts as an idol, and they were all already filled with followers and fans, my very own Shasfaists! I could see their every interaction; their comments were filled with nothing but positive things to say. It was exhilarating to see their comments under my posts, and sometimes, I could interact with them by replying to their comments; it was an enjoyable pastime. In the blink of an eye, suddenly, I was already in my third month as an idol, well, as an idol trainee. We shared a little difference between the members. We went on fewer shows and theater performances, which I call 'half the spotlight.' It was still shining at us, just half as bright. The lights shone on us literally and metaphorically. However, it was not until my first vacation as a trainee that I noticed the fanfare I received.

I remember that day when we were gathered at our last practice before the holiday season; endless amounts of shows, events, and handshakes withered us all. I felt like I'd greeted an entire city's worth of people at this point; I just felt stuffed with all the work I had to do; that's all; a break would be more than delightful. Significantly, our last practice concluded with the announcement that we're having a break! For an entire two weeks! After that, I was supposed to return for the New Year's celebration performance held at the National Monument, which, to be honest, I'd be frantically waiting; that would be our most enormous performance outside the theater, something that the general public would be seeing. I had only been performing in the theater and at most conventions all this time, but this would take the cake. Just as the practice was over, I headed down to be picked up by my parents, and to my surprise, my mom was there, too! They looked pleased that I was clear of any idol work for the next two weeks, which may look short, but trust me, after endless days of grueling practices and performances, two weeks would feel like an entire month of vacation. They looked back at me with a smile and told me we would go to Bali for the week. I was as jubilant as them and even more jubilant when they said we would depart in two days; I couldn't believe they had planned an entire vacation behind me right after my semester was over, too. I would savor every second of this break now that it was all planned.

The day had arrived for our departure. We had an early morning flight, so I felt a little dreary from waking up earlier than usual. I wobbled my way with my parents to the check-in counter at the terminal. We all walked up to the attendant behind the counter to check our bags in when I noticed that the guy behind the counter took a good look at my boarding pass once it was printed out and didn't hand it to me after thirty seconds of looking back and forth between me and the boarding pass, he then gave it to me without saying a word. I took that as no big deal; he was probably awkward and let his awkwardness get the best of him this morning, though something inside me figured something else was happening. I was beginning to recognize my fame and its effect on my daily life; it had been months since I was accepted as a trainee, and I had done multiple theater shows already, not to mention that I was also the leader of my generation. So, it seemed like my name and face were tossed around the public, which I was comfortable with, but that comfort would be challenged on this holiday. Upon boarding my flight, I asked my mom to switch seats with me because I wanted the window seat, and she obliged. Thirty minutes into the flight, the food was being served. Until then, I had only noticed that I wasn't wearing a mask because I glanced at my reflection in the window. At first, I paid no mind to it, but then I also noticed that a guy right across the aisle was aiming his phone in my family's direction now that the flight attendant had moved the food cart away from us. He noticed me noticing him and quickly put his phone down. Now, I was beginning to be warier of my surroundings. The good thing for me is that I was sitting on the window seat, entirely obscured by both my parents sitting next to me, and because of that, I had trouble sleeping; right before I knew it, the plane was already landing. We'd then exit the plane to make it to the carousel to pick up our luggage. Auspiciously, there was already a crowd at the carousel. However, their attention was not pointed toward taking their luggage; they were staring straight at us. As if coordinated, one person took their phone out to take a picture of me, followed by the others pulling out their phones to either take a picture of me or with me. Honestly, I haven't even touched up on my makeup after that flight. But I still struck a pose every time someone wanted to take a picture with me. What I realized later was that I heard shutters of professional cameras sounding as photographers whipped out their cameras to picture me. Funnily, I wasn't the only one getting photographed; my parents also became a target for their lenses. Seeing the commotion that was happening by the carousels, airport security came to disperse the crowd. What was supposed to be a grab-and-go thing ended up taking us nearly an hour. When we'd taken our bags, our driver was already waiting for us at the arrivals pick-up point. We were supposed to go and get some breakfast first, but because of the long delay, we decided to go straight to our resort, which was an hour-and-a-half drive from the airport. Luckily for us, the traffic wasn't too heavy on the way there.