Dreamland, 8:15 AM
Kirby bursts through the garage style door of his warehouse
Kirby: "MAAAAAARX!"
Marx walks over to Kirby, depressed expression plastered on his face
Marx: "Siiiigh what?"
Kirby: "I need you to do something for me real quick."
Marx: "...yeah?"
Kirby: "remember how I did a thing with Tom Nook like, a long while back?"
Marx: "uh huh?..."
Kirby: "I need you to deliver this package to him for me."
Marx: "...couldn't you ask someone with ha-"
Kirby tosses the package right in front of him
Marx grabs it with his mouth, chipping a tooth in the process
Marx: through muffled words "Why couldn't you just get someone with hands to do it? Or better yet, DELIVER IT THROUGH THE MAIL???"
Kirby: "1, you know your fellow sla- I mean, coworkers, are busy with their own tasks; and 2, I don't like spending money, and DAL Inc is a pain in the ass when it comes to delivering stuff on time."
Marx: muffled "...you have a point..-"
Kirby: "now GET MOVING DAMN IT!"
Marx starts waddling away swiftly with the box lodged into his mouth
Kirby: "man I am such a great boss."
Taranza: covering one of his hands as he floats towards Kirby "Kirby can I-"
Kirby: "GET BACK TO WORK YOU HEATHEN!"
Green Greens, 8:20 AM
Marx continues to waddle throughout the land
Marx: muffled "huh... this place is surprisingly calmer than I last remembered..."
As he waddles, he notices a green warp pipe in the distance
Marx: muffled "? Interesting..."
He waddles towards the warp pipe
The warp pipe is very rusted from the base to the entrance; along the rim of pipe, in very faded golden letters read: "Nintendoland, one way"
Marx: muffled "huh..."
He spits out the box, and proceeds to jump onto it and looks down into the pipe
Marx: "hmmm..."
There is a sudden gust of wind, causing Marx to trip and fall into the warp pipe
"AAAAAAAAAAH!"
...a janitor waddle dee walks by the warp pipe, noticing the package Marx had left behind
Janitor-dee: eh?
They pick up the package and toss it into the warp pipe
Janitor-dee: there we go.
They walk away
Nintendoland, 8:25 AM
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH-"
THUD!
...Marx had landed on a pile of garbage, inside of a dumpster
???: "OW! WHAT THE FUCK?!"
Marx: "huh- the trash talks..?"
suddenly, a Japanese, blue haired octoling popped her head out of the dumpster, chewing on a metallic spoon
Marx: "...who the hell are you?"
The octoling girl thought for a moment
???: "My name's Shiver!"
Marx: "oh."
Just then, the package Marx had in his mouth falls through the pipe and lands smack dab onto Shiver's head
Shiver: "SHIT!-"
She grabs the box and shakes it around
Shiver: "what the fuck is this?"
She clawed the package open
Whatever was inside the package started radiating blue, and a certain chemistry teacher's theme started playing
Shiver shut the package immediately
Marx: "hey! Give me that! I gotta deliver this to someone-"
He stood up onto the garbage and looked out the dumpster
Marx: "speaking of which, how the hell do I get out of this trash dump?!"
Shiver: "simple."
She climbs out of the trash dump and falls onto the pavement; She then stands back up and dusts herself off
Marx: "that's great; I can't really climb ya know."
Shiver: "oh, right!"
She then grabs Marx and tosses him onto the pavement
SPLAT!
Marx: "OW! What the hell was that for?!?!"
Shiver: "you landed on me, you goober."
Marx: "...oh."
He scans his surroundings
Marx: "uh, what is this place anyways?"
Shiver: "...I'm not really sure. This is only my second week at Nintendo."
Marx continues looking around, before noticing a sign floating in the sky; it reads "neen10doh land"
Suddenly, what can only be described as heat seeking missiles proceed to blow up the screen of the sign
Marx: "HOLY-"
The letters are quickly replaced with "Nintendo Land"
Shiver: "heh, copyright moment."
Marx: "wow. anyways I gotta deliver this package now"
Shiver: "damn, ok Heisenberg."
Marx looks over at Shiver, baffled
Marx: "who?"
Shiver: "just an outsider reference."
Marx: "ah, I see."
Marx grabs onto the box with his teeth and begins to walk away; Shiver began following him shortly after
Marx stops walking and looks over at her
Marx: muffled "...why are you following me?"
Shiver: "ah y know, got nuthin' better to do."
Marx: muffled "huh, ok then."
Marx walks around Nintendoland; the ground seemed to be made out of terracotta stone, and all around were various signs that read the names of different game franchises
Marx: muffled "man, one of these places gotta be nook inc."
Multiple advertisements are plastered around generic buildings that surround Nintendoland; one notable building however, was incredibly large with an equally as massive screen
The screen illuminates and Mario can be seen
Mario: "hello! It's-a me, Mario! Dear people of Nintendoland, please do not pirate any of our games, our lawyers are watching! And even though our switch emulator may not be as good as any of our illegal competition, you can always play one of our NEW titles!"
A bunch of Nintendo titles that have released in 2022 start to flash on the screen; Shiver points at the screen the second Splatoon 3 appears
Shiver: "hey look! It's the game I'm from!"
Marx: muffled "sp- spa-leen?"
Shiver stares into his soul
Marx: muffled "...what?"
Shiver: "never mind."
Just then, an Animal Crossing Villager sprints past them with a hard drive
The Villager: "NO! YOU'RE NOT GETTING IT! I HAVE TO ARCHIVE ALL OF THESE GAMES AND-"
A group of buff mii avatars in police uniforms show up and shoot the villager down; the villager lays there, dead on the ground.
Marx: muffled "...holy crap- this place is intense..."
A mii then runs over to the hard drive and incinerates it with a flamethrower
Mario: "and-a remember! Mario number 1! Woohoo!"
The screen shuts off
The mii police then leave the scene; dead villager on the ground next to a pile of ash
YOU ARE READING
Nintendo Mayhem
FanfictionMarx is tasked with delivering a package to Tom Nook, what could possibly go wrong? (For archival purposes of the original) (I do not own any of these characters except the ones that are obviously semi OCs such as Kenny, Nintendo please don't lynch...
