Sasusaku: The Road Back To You

Ain't This A Shocker...

══ ஜ 𝚂𝚊𝚜𝚞𝚔𝚎'𝚜 𝙿.𝙾.𝚅: ஜ ══

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She was here. She was actually here.

And she was in my bed.

My hormonal teenage brain, which I could usually control, was going crazy. When I tossed her on the bed, it made me think of other reasons to toss her onto a bed, not one of which were the actual reasons I did. When I pinned her hands above her head, I started to picture myself doing things to her that I'd never thought of before. And when I demanded that she get on the bed, I was extremely tempted to push her down and kiss her until we both forgot how to breathe.

But all thoughts paled in comparison to when I grabbed the blanket to help pull it over her and she unknowingly snuggled into my exposed chest. I hated to admit it, but that slight physical contact- something I hadn't had save for training since her in the first place- nearly made my eyes roll back into my brain.

And Orochimaru didn't help, either. He knew exactly how I felt about women in general, so he was saying all that about being inexperienced purely for the sake of unnerving Sakura. I nearly ran Kirin right through his ugly skull when he started talking about Sakura's 'physical features'. He had no business looking at her like that. She was barely seventeen, her birthday being a few weeks ago, as I remembered. He was at least fifty, despite what his false appearance said.

The pedophile could go fuck himself if he was that desperate for some action.

But, I hated to admit it, he did have a point. Sakura was absolutely gorgeous, and always had been. I was grateful that she was just as hesitant about those things as I was, because if not I would've been worried that she had... well... done the thing. Though she was only seventeen, I'd known some fourteen year old girls before I left that tried to get me to go to bed with them. So it wasn't too big a stretch.

But none of them were as beautiful as Sakura, so I wasn't interested.

I had always been a very self-aware person. I knew back when I left Konoha that I was falling in love with Sakura. I knew. I wasn't in denial. I knew it as fact, just like I knew that the sky was blue or that Naruto was an idiot. But I was focused on revenge, and figured that I didn't have time for romance until Itachi was dead.

But after that... My next goal had been to restore my clan. How did I expect to do that without finding a wife? And Sakura had been the only person I could ever picture as my wife. Even back then, it was always going to be Sakura.

But I ruined that. I made it to where Sakura wasn't in love with me anymore, and that hurt more than I could say. When I first saw her again today after three years, and she didn't have that same look in her eye when she saw me, I instantly knew that she had moved on. She was able to heal herself after all I'd put her through. And while I was glad she was no longer suffering because of me, a smaller, more selfish part wanted to ask her what happened to her promise to wait for me. A part of me wondered if that meant she found someone else, and that same part of me wanted to find him and tear him apart.

But when I saw the tears in her eyes as she desperately searched my face for the old me, it made me think that maybe she wasn't in love with me anymore, but maybe she wanted to be. She wanted to believe in me and she wanted to trust in me again. So, as selfish as it was, I clung onto the hope that I would be able to win her back someday, when I would finally deserve her.

Just then, Sakura shivered in her sleep, and I tentatively wrapped an arm around her. I tucked a strand of her beautiful hair behind her ear tenderly.

I could only be like this with her when she was asleep. When she was awake, I had to keep up my façade. I couldn't restore the bond I'd tried so hard to break, no matter how much I wanted to. Later, when I killed Itachi, I could try to win her back. As of right now, however, she needed to hate me. So as much as it hurt, I had to act like a cold-hearted asshole.