The Sun in the Shadow

Chapter 11

Will was more than scared. He was not simply terrified. The emotion ripping through him was so horrific and painful that putting a name to it would be a crime, for none should ever have to claim that they are feeling it. As Will watched Nico curl and flinch against invisible binds, his heart felt like a mini bomb stuck in a time loop. Exploding with a burst of energy with every heartbeat.

Will almost collapsed under the pressure of his own heart. His arms felt weak, his stomach rolling, his knees like rubber. The only thing keeping him from falling was the resistance to falling on top of the pale boy underneath him.

"Nico," Will whispered, but the word was slippery in his mouth, like if he stuttered it would slip away and be unsayable. 

Nico lay with his face curled into his knees. His arms were wrapped so tightly around his legs that every muscle strained. His skin had gone from almost natural to deathly white, almost as if he were a ghost. For a moment, Will was scared he was.

As he watched Nico from above, Will felt completely helpless. He couldn't move or speak or do anything to try and help Nico, his own body was completely betraying him. Never in his life had Will experienced this kind of fear. It was like all the life had been sucked put of him and all Will could do was watch as Nico whimpered slightly and twitched. 

After an agonizing time, Will decided he was going to force himself into doing something. He closed his eyes and tried desperately to forget it was Nico in pain on the floor. He tried to forget where he was and what he was doing and get his heart to not be pounding like a hammer. 

It didn't work one bit. 

Nico. Nico Di Angelo. The brilliant fighter. Here on the ground, helpless to the shadows. It was all Will could think about. And it killed him knowing that this was the same boy that had fearlessly defended the camp. 

"Nico." This time his voice was squeakier and tears began rapidly falling from Will's eyes. He shut them against the flow, but they fell anyway. So Will cried for Nico. 

He cried for Nico's past. He cried for Nico's pain. The tears rained down when he thought of all Nico had done. All that Nico had gone through. The tears would never stop for the boy who had endured endless pain. 

Will cried for the pain that Nico was in now, and he choked when he realized it was himself that had caused this to happen to Nico. It was Will who had pushed Nico into the shadows. He was so stupid to think that Nico would love him, when every time Nico had before he had been hurt. Of course he wouldn't want Will. Why would he ever want to be with someone who saves lives when that only reminds Nico of all the lives he hadn't saved.

The tears stopped when Will was unable to produce them anymore. Instead he calmed himself, collapsed next to Nico, and began trying with the most gentle care to bring Nico out of his nightmare. Will was weak and tired and dehydrated, but he didn't stop, and wouldn't stop, until he had payed back Nico for all the pain he had caused him.

Will wouldn't give up on Nico, not until his own body failed to work.