Midnight Rain | Jilix |

28

Guys if you are reading my story, hitting that star won't hurt you.. Right? So What are you waiting for? Do it!!!!

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A/n Pov.

Jisung - Why they are silent?

Felix - Because Minho knew it from starting.. Hyunjin just jumped in volcano.. He left me with you so I betrayed him..

Felix smirked and walked toward the 2nd room which was shared by Jisung and him. Jisung looked at him still with confusion and unlocked door to get inside. Felix came inside and looked at bathroom, as he want to take shower but being in room with his ex is FUCKING awkward.

Felix - You wanna take shower first?

Jisung looked at Felix who was staring at bathroom.

Jisung - You can take shower first if you want..

Felix - Okay..

Felix said it in most genuine voice and walked toward bathroom but stopped when he realised something~

Felix - I don't have my clothes..

Felix widened his eyes with embarrassments and looked at Jisung who raised his eyebrow.

Jisung - Why?

Felix - Its with Minho.. I am gonna get my clothes..

Felix walked toward door and was about to left but Jisung hurriedly walked toward him and grabbed his hand and stopped him. Felix looked at him with disbelief as he was not getting why Jisung stopped him but his expressions get changed.

Jisung - You should not disturb them now, just wear my clothes..

Felix widened his in shock and looked at Jisung with questioning eyes and said~

Felix - What?

Jisung - Wear my clothes..

Felix freed himself from Jisung's grip and nodded, walking toward Jisung luggage to take a sweatshirt with a sweatpant. Jisung looked at him, he was highly obliged that Felix agreed to wear his cloths. While Felix was taking clothes Jisung decide to ask him about earlier incident.

Jisung - So, have you ever decide to go to the therapist for your claustrophobic?

Felix - No...

Jisung - Why?

Felix - Ever heard of CBT? They will lock me in a box.. There is no way I am going to let them do it..

Jisung - Are you joking?

Felix - Yes... Now don't talk to me.

Jisung - Weren't you scared of taking shower alone?

Felix walked toward bathroom after taking an outfit, slammed door and went inside as he fully ignored Jisung.

Trigger warning \Blood\self harm\• :] [] '-'

(Sorry guys, if its trigger you)

Felix Pov.

What was that? Was that a flashback or just a dream? Did I kill someone? Did I really shoot someone with my bare hands? My eyes were teary as he sat on the cold floor in the bathroom and turned on the shower. The moment when I entered in bathroom, a flashback entered in eyes. I killed someone, I killed someone!! But who?

Does it really matter? Pain? Is it too much? Why I am here? Why I am alive? Do I really need this life anymore? Should I cut myself again? I asked myself why removing my shirt. Looking at a huge cut on my wrist, its looks ugly but pretty at the same time.

Why I am crying? Am I lying to myself? Do I really want to die or just get attention. But I want to cut myself because its make me feel alive. Getting soak in shower while crying in blood, will be better then begging someone to forgive me. Last time when I cut myself was when I was alone in Minho's apartment and was trying to remember about about myself.

Who am I? Why I don't remember about me? I was founded unconscious near to the river with no memories. Who I was before that? Why No one tried to find me? Was I really alone in this world? Who is my mother? Who is my father? Do I have big brother like Minho or younger brother like Jungwon? And who was the one I killed? Did I ran away after killing someone? I am criminal!! Am I a criminal?

I laughed at myself while crying? I can't even cut myself right now, because its look like I am seeking attention but if I will not then its make me feels like I am making excuses and I don't deserve excuse. I looked up and myself looking trash in mirror.

Felix who was in mirror was shouting as he was telling me do it.. Just do it. You deserve it.. Its feel good. People will think you are brave to cut.. Or maybe they will think you are insane.. JUST DO IT!!

I had enough, I stood up from my place... looking for a sharp equipment. Which wasn't tough to find as fresh razor blades were placed inside a box. My hands were shaking while eyes were teary. Just wanna injure myself, took one blade and grabbed it with my thumb and index finger and pointed at other wrist.

Just breathing heavily, I am scared to cut myself because I know it will hurt But...

I will, I closed my eyes and flinched when blade touch my wrist and blood popped out. Its hurt but I am not a coward, I will cut again.. I did. Blade again engraved in wrist and it start bleeding again. Blood, Red colour.. Its my blood. Shower was doing good job and remove this evidence. After few cuts, its feel good now that I can't stop myself from cutting again and again. After losing so much strength, I stopped and washed myself. I know everyone think its weird to treat yourself after hurting but I think its better then being caught by someone.

So I took bandage and covered it on my wrist, its not actual treatment but its still better. I get dressed in Jisung's clothes and his clothes still feels same. Its good that its a full sleeves clothes. I washed my face again, took my concealer and hide my freckles and put some concealer down to my eyes.

Brace yourself Yong bok, that now you are Felix and you can't cry infront of Jisung. I unlatch the door and come out, Jisung looked at me and said~

Jisung - You look cute in my clothes..

Felix - You can shower now.. I am going to sleep.

Jisung - Okay..

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''The time I will share
Is there anyone who will care....''

By An INFP (Always a listeners, never who talk)

Hello guy,

Don't have words right now.

Bye bye
💕💕💕💕💕💕