Laufey: Hey, what's the buzz, huh, Mads? What is the weak link in the Mischief Maker's chain?
Maddie: Get yourself another girl, I'm through.
Laufey: I'm sorry. Do you mind runnin' that by me again? I must have had a chunk of brimstone wedged in my ear or something.
Maddie: Then read my lips! Forget it!
Laufey: Mads, Mads, Mads, my sweet deluded little minion. Aren't we forgetting one teensy-weensy, but ever so crucial little, tiny detail? [he bursts into flame] I own you!
[Rocket comes in on the ground]
Rocket: Oh. I got another horn here..
Laufey (to Mads): You work for me!
Rocket: That kid's gonna be doin' laps for a month.
Laufey: If I say, "sing", you say, "hey, name that tune" If I say, "I want Mischief Maker's head on a platter" you say—
Maddie: Medium or well done.
Rocket: Oh! I knew that dame was trouble. This is gonna break the kid's heart.
Maddie: I'll work on that.
[Rocket runs away]
Laufey: I'm sorry.. You hear that sound? That's the sound of your freedom fluttering out the window forever.
Maddie: I don't care. I'm not gonna help you hurt him.
Laufey: I can't believe you're getting so worked up about some guy.
Maddie: This one is different. He's honest, and-and he's sweet--
Laufey: Please!
Maddie: He would never do anything to hurt me.
Laufey: He's a guy!
Maddie: Besides, oh, oneness, you can't beat him. He has no weaknesses, he's gonna—
Laufey: I think... he does, Mads. I truly think... he does.
[Stadium, Loki is doing exercises]
Loki: Ha-ha! Whoo-hoo! (Rocket walks in, sad) Hey, Rocket! What happened to you?
Rocket: Kid, we gotta talk.
Loki: Oh, Rocket, I just had the greatest day of my life! I-I can't stop thinking about Mads. She's something else.
Rocket: Kid! I'm tryin' to talk to ya! Will you come down here and listen?
Loki: Aw, how can I come down there when I'm feeling so up?
[He jumps up into clouds. Meanwhile a female wolf appears and makes Fenrir follow her. In a pen, the wolf splits in two parts which turn into Steve and Stephen]
Steve: Gotcha!
[back in the stadium]
Rocket: Ah, very nice! What I'm trying to say is—
Loki: That if it wasn't for you, I never would have met her. Oh, I owe ya big time. Little guy, I do.
Rocket: Will you just knock it off for a couple of seconds?
Loki: Rule #38, Come on, Rocket, keep them up there, huh? Rocket, I got two words for ya: Duck!
Rocket: Listen to me! She's—
Loki: A dream come true?
Rocket: Not exactly.
Loki: More beautiful than Freyja?
Rocket: Aside from that!
Loki: The most wonderful—
Rocket: She's a fraud!!! She's been playin' ya for a sap!
Loki: Aw, come on. Stop kiddin' around.
Rocket: I'm not kiddin' around.
Loki: I know you're upset about today, but that's no reason to—
Rocket: Kid, you're missin' the point.
Loki: The point is - I love her.
Rocket: She doesn't love you.
Loki: You're crazy.
Rocket: She's nothin' but a two-timin'.
Loki: Stop it!
Rocket: no-good, lyin', schemin'—
Loki (hits Rocket): Shut up! [Rocket flies off and hits himself a little] Rocket, I-- Oh, I'm, I'm sorry.
Rocket: Okay, okay, that's it. You won't face the truth? Fine.
Loki: Rocket, wait. Where you going?
Rocket: I'm hoppin' the first barge out of here. I'm goin' home.
Loki: Fine! G-- Go! I don't-- I don't need you.
Rocket: I thought you were gonna be the all-time champ. Not the all-time chump.
[Rocket leaves. Laufey comes]
Laufey: Geez Louise! What got his trash panda, huh? Baboom. Name is Laufey, Lord of the Dead. Hi. How ya doin'?
Loki: Not now, okay?
Laufey: Hey, hey, I only need a few seconds and I'm a fast talker, all right? See, I've got the major deal in the works. A real estate venture, if you will. And Lokes, you little devil you, may I call you Lokes? You seem to be constantly getting in the way of it.
Loki: You've got the wrong guy.
Laufey: Hear me out, ya little-- heh-heh. Just-- hear me out, okay? So I would be eternally grateful if you would just... take a day off from this hero business of yours. Geez, I mean, monsters, natural disasters. Phew, you wait a day, okay?
Loki: You're out of your mind.
Laufey: Not so fast, because, ya see, I do have a little leverage... You might wanna know about.
[Laufey snaps fingers and Maddie appears]
Loki: Mads!
Maddie: Don't listen, Lok-- [she disappears]
Loki: Let her go!
Laufey: Here's the trade-off. You give up your strength for about 24 hours, okay? Say, the next 24 hours and Mads here is free as a bird and safe from harm. We dance, we kiss, we schmooze, we carry on, we go home happy. What d'ya say? Come on.
Loki: People are, are gonna get hurt, aren't they?
Laufey: Nah! I mean, it's, you know, it's a possibility. It happens 'cause, you know, it's war, but what can I tell ya? Anyway, what do you owe these people, huh? Isn't Mads -- little smoochy face -- isn't she more important than they are?
Loki: Stop it!
Laufey: Isn't she?
Loki: You gonna swear she'll be safe from any harm.
Laufey: Fine, okay, I'll give you that one. Mads is safe, otherwise you get your strength right back, yadda-yadda, fine print, boilerplate, baboom. Okay? We're done, what d'ya say we shake on it? Hey, I really don't have, like, time to bat this around. I'm kind of on a schedule here, I got plans for August. Okay? I need an answer, like, now. Going once, going twice.
Loki: All right!
Laufey: Yes, we're there! Bam! [They shake hands and Laufey takes strength and magic of Loki] You may feel just a little queasy, it's kinda natural. Maybe you should sit down. Now you know how it feels to be just like everybody else. isn't it just peachy? Oh! You'll love this. One more thing. Mads, babe. A deal's a deal. You're off the hook. By the way, Lokes. Is she not, like, a fabulous little actress?
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Loki
FanfictionLoki, a son of gods, was snatched as a baby by Laufey and forced to live among mortals as a half-man, half-god. Now a teenager, Loki needs to perform a rite of passage on Earth to prove himself worthy of living with the gods on Mount Olympus. With h...
