Pen, Fin, and the Bigfoot Bargain:

Episode 7: Great Esc-Ape

In Episode 6, Pen snuck out of her cabin on the last night of camp and went into the woods, where she encountered Bigfoot. As she was running away, Fin picked her up on an ATV, and then they were chased by Knox.

"Let Fin go!" I shout, stomping toward Ranger Knox who, with a low villainous chuckle, dismounts his ATV.

"Well, well, well," he sneers, "looks like you've gotten yourself and your friend into quite the pickle."

Knox takes a step toward me and I stop, my hands balling into fists at my sides. I could probably take this guy. Granted, I'm only a purple belt, but I'm fast and scrappy. Only trouble is, all his geared-up soldier sidekicks will likely wanna tango, too.

Bring it on, I say.

I crack my neck and get into my fight as the voiceover countdown from Super Smash Bros. Ultimate starts playing in my head, but my pump-up is halted by a wail—a distant, wail that cuts through the night, rising above the tapering rain as it goes on and on and on.

It's a howl. An Ohio Howl!

This must freak out the guy holding Fin, because suddenly Fin manages to break free and run toward me. I grab his hand and scope out the situation for an escape route, but we're still surrounded, and I'm thinking both of our memories are about to be Swiss cheese.

But then, as the howl trails off, a familiar rank smell the clearing.

It's that baked stench of eau de stank—dirty gym socks, musty mutt hair, and rotten tomatoes swirled in a blender on high—and it's everywhere, making the soldiers and Knox cover their noses and cough.

The first two times I ran into Bigfoot, the reek was bad, but not nearly this bad. What. Is. Happening?

I don't have time to ponder it, because suddenly the soldier closest to Knox points my way and shouts, "Sir, there she is!"

"Eep!" I shout, even though his words make absolutely no sense at all since I haven't gone anywhere.

"Don't let her get away!" bellows Knox, which prompts Fin to jump out ahead of me, arms open as if defending me goalie style. He can't protect me, no more than I can protect him, but my heart melts all the same. (Only your bestie would hop between you, a deranged park ranger, and eight special-ops military minions.)

I shut my eyes tight, waiting for the moment we get arrested, vaporized, or both.

The sound of stomping boots surges toward us—then rushes right past.

I open my eyes and turn around, peering at the thick line of trees circling the clearing. Ranger Knox and his troops have left us far behind, pulling strange electric weapons from their holsters as they close in on...

Bigfoot.

It—or, er, she?—stands just inside the trees, glaring at the pursuers with bared teeth. The soldiers don't stop, though, and when Bigfoot darts farther into the forest, they follow—and vanish.

As in poof. Gone.

Like rocks dropped into a murky mud puddle, there one second, gone the next, with nothing but ripples to show they ever existed—the same way Bigfoot vanished the first night I met it. (Well, sort of met it.) And then again on the trail, shortly after I'd snapped its photo.

"What just happened?" Fin whispers.

A wide grin stretches across my face. "I just won a bet."

He opens his mouth, but no words come out. He just keeps staring at the trees, blinking, like he's trying to convince himself he's dreaming—or he's trying to come to grips with the fact that he knows he's not, and that I, Penelope Renee Paz, have been right this whole time.

I'm about to rub it in because I can't help myself, but then there's a grunt behind us.

I should have known Bigfoot would come back, because that smell is still floating around, persistent as a dog fart and strong enough to peel paint.

"There," Fin says, aiming a finger toward the woods near Knox's ATV, "I see it."

Bigfoot's massive furry shape looms in the darkness, its eyes aglow as it grunts again, then lumbers away, deeper into the woods.

The two of us just stand there, gaping after it until it glances over one bulky shoulder, those yellow eyes shining brightly—but not menacingly.

"I think it wants us to follow," I say.

"Um," says Fin, his voice shaky, "are you sure that's a good idea?"

"If it were going to eat us, we would've been dinner already," I reason and start marching forward .

Fin is on my heels and, amazingly, Bigfoot waits for us, but right when we get to the edge of the woods, it again turns to go.

"No, wait, I just want to say thank you!" I dart after Bigfoot, and Fin darts after me. We burst through the threshold of the woods and...

Umm, are we back at camp?

Whoa, we are! We're standing in front of the flagpole, the darkened cabins looming in the distance.

"What...where...who...how?" Fin asks as he whirls around, disoriented.

But I know exactly who and how—Bigfoot used its supernatural powers to teleport us back to camp.

"Told you Bigfoot can time and space," I say, grinning as I peer up at the flag, arms folded.

"Okayyyy, so, um, I guess I just have one question for now, then," Fin mutters as he rubs the back of his neck, still trying to make sense of it all. "Where did it send Knox?"