Good Heart ➵Bellamy Blake ➵

Regret

The next day I went to Lincolns place and we went on to him teaching me new herbs and medicine and how to tell different herbs apart from eachother.

"You've been quiet today," he stated while I was putting the herbs back where they belong. And I have been quiet. I couldn't stop thinking about the lake and how close I was from dying. And how close I was to a sky person- more specifically one of their commanders.

"Just thinking" I lied. Lincoln laughed. I turned to him an eyebrow raised. "What?"

"Something is bothering you and I don't know if I should ask" He shouldn't because if I do he'll have me tied to a tree, but he wouldn't tell the commander because she would do real damage to me. She has made it clear that the sky people are a threat.

"Then don't." I say as I walk outside and head to the sky people's camp. This was a routine for us. We have a lesson each day for about two to three hours early in the morning and the rest of the day we watch their camp. We may sound like creeps but there's nothing else we could do and plus Lincoln and I are curious. I push the thought of warning them about Mt. Weather aside because Lincoln would slice my throat if I did.

As evening light warms, I hear commotion. I turn my head to the direction where everyone was in a circle. Yelling from the commander-Clarke. She was yelling at a boy and holding a knife to his face. I could only muster up incoherent words. "..Killed him... Wells...you?"
And then I hear chanting "Float him, float him!" What is that suppose to mean? I turn to Lincoln and he looks as confused as I am. They sky people put a rope over the tree, they're going to hang the boy. I didn't want to see this, I was about to jump to the ground when I heard his name. "We should let Bellamy do it," I heard someone say. I can see him in a distance, he looks the same as last night minus the blood on his face. I stare at him. I can tell he was about to protest. But he is the commander, you can't show sympathy towards crimes. He was going to punish the boy. Clarke was screaming at Bellamy not to do it as he was walking towards the boy.

As much violence I've seen, hell I've seen it my whole life. I still have a soft spot, I can never hurt someone without it being self defense. Kids are offered to become a warrior if you are strong enough and I was one of those kids, and that's how I met Lincoln. I agreed to train but I couldn't do it, I couldn't kill an innocent if my commander forced me to. Lincoln talked to the commander for me and told her that he saw potential in me to become a healer and she agreed. So here I am 7 years later with Lincoln, helping him, and him teaching me. He's also taught me how to defend myself since he is also one of the Warriors. He's good at anything, that's probably why the commander trusts him.

"Amethyst, they have to do it he's killed one of their own" Lincoln says as I saw Bellamy kick the stand the boy was stepping on. I cringe as everyone cheer.

To my surprise a little girl stops them. And my eye is still on the boy choking to his death. "Murphy didn't kill Wells, I did"
Clarke cuts the rope that the boy-Murphy was hanging on. This wouldn't end well.

~~~~

I couldn't put my thoughts together. One minute they were hanging Murphy and everyone was cheering, the next minute Murphy convinced everyone that the girl should be hung. I almost threw up.

Now Bellamy, Clarke, the girl, and another boy was in a tent while Murphy was with everyone else screaming that the girl could be killed. Bellamy walked out saying something that I can't make out.

Not a second later Murphy striked Bellamy with a hard punch that knocked him down. I stood on the tree branch to see if he was ok. The girl I saw him with last night, the one with the pretty eyes went down to help him.

Murphy walked inside the tent and walked out with a pale face "They're gone!"
"I'm going to go find them and kill her myself" he said stalking off into the woods, followed by two other boys.

~~~

"You can't just help them" Lincoln says as I jump to the ground putting my bow around me. "I won't do anything I will regret later I promise" I walked under the night sky. "Be careful" I hear him say as I disappear into the woods.

The moonlight is out and I can barely see a thing but I follow the light foot steps ahead of me. I have no clue who I'm following but hopefully it's the little girl. "She couldn't have gone far" I hear an unfamiliar voice whisper. I turned in the opposite direction from the voices, keeping my steps as quiet as possible.

My head shot up as I heard a shriek. Pulling out my bow and running in the direction of the scream I stop a few feet from my new view. Murphy's back was facing me and in front of him was Bellamy with the girl. He has her securely behind him. They can't run anywhere else because they're at the edge of a cliff.

Murphy has Clarke with a knife to her throat. I can't make out what they're saying but as I was stepping forward to hear better. The girl whose name I learned was Charlotte, stopped them and said "I can't let you guys kill more people, I have to do this," as she steps off the edge and into darkeness. I put my hand over my mouth wide eyed. My throat felt tight, I was going to cry.

I can never feel the way my people feel when it is someone's death. I was never good with deaths in my village when I had to take care of someone. Lincoln knows how much I hate death, no one should ever go through with that no matter what they did.

"Don't come back to camp, if you do I'll kill you" I hear as I wipe my pathetic tears. I look towards them and everyone already left. Murphy and Bellamy were the last only ones there until Murphy fled. Bellamy was alone now with his back to me, sat with his head in his hands.

My mind goes back to Murphy punching him and before I know it I'm walking towards him. "Clarke I'll be there in a second" he says as my steps become slower. "I said I'll-" he whips his head around and I freeze.

"You?" he stands up with his hand on his knife securely on his belt. I throw my hands up, hopefully he understands I'm not trying to hurt him. The moon is shining bright, and I can clearly see the cut just below his eye.

"What are you doing here?" His knife is in his hand now "Wait you can't even understand me" he says staring at my bow in my hands. I do understand you, I thought. My eyes follow his and I slowly lay my bow on the ground not taking my eyes off his. He's scared I can tell.

I point to the cut on his cheekbone. He looks at me confused as ever. I dont know why but I want to clean his cut. Somewhere deep down I know I'm doing the dumbest thing ever. When he touched his left cheekbone and feels nothing, he moves to the other and winces but recovers as he pulls his hand away.

"It's just a cut" I carefully step closer, he doesn't move. "I don't want to hurt you" I hear him say. I shake my head, hoping he understands im not going to hurt him. When I'm standing in front of him with a safe distance apart, I pull my hand up and ever so carefully brushing my fingers over his cut. The knife he's holding is back on his belt but his hands are shaking and he eyes me cautiously.

I pull an oil from my pocket and place some on my hand. As I was about to rub it on his cut he catches my wrist. "How do I know that's not poison?" he says. I take the oil from my hand and wipe it on my face instead not taking my eyes off his own. He exhales a breath I didn't even know he was holding.

When I put more oil on my hand and carefully rub it on his cut, he tenses. I don't blame him. I would too if a random person wanted to heal my wound, wait no, I would cut their fingers if someone dared to touch me. Once done, I took a few more steps back to give us enough space from eachother. I think he was going to thank me, but I wouldn't know because I turned around and grabbed my bow from the ground and left.

Stupid, stupid, stupid, I thought while I ran back to the village. I'm a weakness. The lake incident should've been the last time I'd come face-to-face with Bellamy. But I felt the need to help him. To fix his stupid little cut on his stupid little face. I should feel bad for betraying my people, for going out of my way to do a stupid little thing, but I felt nothing.

I didn't feel regret and that scares me.