The Last Page

II

HIS

I fell back onto the couch, a different itch of the burn in my chest was born when I saw her today.

Yesterday the same fire was happiness, growing like the roots of a tree. And today, I uprooted them myself. 
It was for the better.
It IS for the better.

I hated that I remembered everything from yesterday because if I didn't, leaving would be so much easier.

One phone call and I could get myself an air BNB but I didn't want to. I wanted to eat this stale pizza and sleep on this couch for another night, and I wanted her to wake me up every morning. Even if it was with a slap. 

I sighed, 

Pulling out my phone from my pocket and calling the person I had been trying to reach since yesterday afternoon.

As the phone rang, I already had a feeling it would be lost in his missed calls.

And so it did.

My mind wandered to her, unable to help itself.

Her long red hair, almost hid her brown roots. 
And her eyes, I could see the brown colour through those green contacts.

I almost smiled at how she thought she was completely disguised. How she loved it and how she hated it.

I looked around, a panda-shaped pot. Her 'Sorry I'm LATTE' cup of coffee. 

I secretly wished I could take it, as a souvenir.

 I needed to get the hell out of here, before doing something I would regret later.

But it was her scent that kept me there, her honey and jasmine mixed shampoo. 
Her sticky notes on the window in a heart shape and her good morning note on the back of the door were the ones that whispered 'stay'

Even her eyes, when she saw me pleaded the same word. 
'stay' 

And my heart ached to obey.

But I can't. Before even seeing her, I put her life in danger yesterday.
I hated every bit of it, how my hands shook while holding the gun and how I almost had a panic attack on the footpath.

It was scary last night, her head was filled with liquid courage. 
Too hazy to notice the surroundings. And me?
I was helpless.
I was done for, I remembered thinking that if I died it would be okay because I saw her before it.

Because that's what happened when she was around.

I turned to my most vulnerable self, the most helpless guy. 
And I couldn't afford that. Not now, not ever.

For the breath to my chest and happiness in her life. I had to get out of this house and her life, again.

But something awoken in my chest told me to stay, a minute even. To sit in the world she had made, even if it was as a stranger.

I threw my head back and crashed on the couch, feeling rather dizzy, I knew the aspirin was working its way through my veins.

I closed my eyes.
And there -in the smell of bloody leather from last night coming from her coat hanging behind the door- I fell asleep.

--

"Hello?" 09 said,

I didn't know his name, 
I didn't ask him because I knew no one in the Black Hand used names,

I had known him for years, and he was one of the people who weren't the most loyal to their oath. or omerta, as they call it.

"I need a place, in New York," I said

"you're in Empire City?" he asked, his Scottish accent was clear.

"Can it be done?" I asked, already bored of this conversation.

"Yeah, I'll send you the address," he said, cutting the call. before adding,

"be careful Val, yesterday was close. And as much as I enjoy saving you. I'll be the one cutting you open,"

I waited, coffee in hand.

And the buzz in my pocket made sure I was roofed tonight.

I still couldn't get over that face though, the more I thought of it, the more I noticed things from just my memory.

How her eyes were puffy and her hands shaky.

"Maria," I whispered under my breath, looking at the people enjoying street music down the alley

The name was still foreign to my lips. But I could get used to it.
Fuck, I could get used to everything new.

Now that I thought of it, I shouldn't even be here.
Staying in The Big Apple was a risk. There were too many chances of being spotted. 
But I wanted to stay, even if it was on my toes.