The Last Page

III

HERS

I woke up to the curtains drawn and the sweet smell of last night.

Rolling over, I saw him still asleep. 

I remembered every moment of last night. 

How I had memorized every inch of him. I could paint him without looking.
How he had held me, till we couldn't get any closer.

I kissed him awake, and his beautiful brown eyes opened. 
And I was the first thing he saw.

I could get used to this.
Fuck, I could get used to everything that came with him

And then he said,

"wake up,"

I woke up to the curtains drawn, and he was gone.

Just like that, in the blink of an eye.

Leaving no trace, except for his scent.

And just like him, his thoughts should have been gone too. But they weren't rather the farther he was the more amplified they got.

Where is he? How is he? Is he safe? 

Part of me was sure he'd come knocking on the door, saying he couldn't find a place to live and I would offer him nothing but the couch again.

Part of me knew he was never coming back. 
I was sure he didn't want to make any more 'mistakes' 

And I was wondering how a man could bring a 30-year-old woman to sit in her living room, looking at the door, with a glass of wine and wait. For hours.

But that was me right? 
The bars on weekends, work on workdays and glasses of wine with the same movies on repeating on lonely nights.

It wasn't like I had someone to return home to or have someone waiting for me somewhere. I was a simple woman. I had simple dreams, and the majority of them had come true. 

Love was something that I had shed along with a lot on the way through my years. 

I walked to the bathroom

turned on the bathroom light, 

My 5th leave from office after he left the house.
I felt like barfing, my stomach was empty, my body was sweaty and my mind was hazy.
I was a child after a hard nap after school.

Tomorrow if I didn't turn up they'd fire me. 
well deserved, but I couldn't afford that. I could actually, but I had to go.

Everything in the world didn't matter to me the past few days other than him.

But today was different. Today I had to pretend that everyone and everything mattered to me, like I was playing my part in society.

I had to smile and get used to those bright flashes of phones.

I had everything on the platter.
The dress was ordered and on the doorstep, the champagne in the fridge and the decorations already put up.

But a part of me was happy that at least I could see all my friends again.

Today was my birthday, and I loathed the fact that I couldn't enjoy it because my mind wouldn't focus on the right things.

I turned on the shower, standing below it.

The water was cold, dripping down my body.

It's crazy how people change, 
someone so close, becomes a stranger. I wondered if I was a new stranger to someone. And my mind immediately went to Clay.