The Last Page

V

HERS

He felt bad. A blind man could tell that he hated himself for his actions.

But what the hell possessed me to ask him to stay?
I didn't regret one bit of it, but I wish I could say the same for him, 

He thought everything was a mistake, 
And he still commits them. Hurting me in the process.

Ignoring all that, he looked beautiful in the small light illuminating the street light, finding its way into my bedroom.

I didn't know if he wanted to keep a pillow between us or something, 
We were both staring at the ceiling, speechless.

I turned my head to look at him, only to see his eyes closed and his features relaxed. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. 
He looked like dark chocolate, deep and smooth.

He wasn't pale like clay or tanned like Gabe.
He was the perfect brown, the type of brown that is only manufactured in India. I smiled.

I had asked him to stay, because if I let him go. I didn't think he'd ever come back.

I knew his guilt had always gotten the best of him.

So I put him to use and made him do chores around.
In that time, I took a small nap. And dreamt a memory that had been lost in time.

I remember now though,
We both were 17.
And it was the early stages of our relationship, 
we were sitting on the edge of a dry well in India, just chatting.

We were discussing what our future would look like, 
and silly me couldn't see a future without him.

I told him I would have my dream job, I would be married to him and we would have 3 children.
He asked why.
And I told him, 
"Because 2 is not enough," I cringed at myself, snickering silently.

I asked him about his future,

He told me he wanted to have his dream car,
I had nudged his shoulder,

"You don't see me in your future," I asked, hurt.

and he said,
"Well, I'm rethinking about the car. It wouldn't fit you and three children," 
He chuckled, his voice was rough then. It was cracking as puberty made its way around him.
And made him into the man lying beside me.

He had added,
"You are my future," And I smiled ear to ear.
Then and now.

I snickered again.

"What's so funny," I heard his deep voice vibrating throughout my body.
"Oh, nothing," I replied, instantly.

"Really?" He asked, looking at me.
I nodded.

"Just remembered something," I said,
He looked at me, waiting for me to continue. When I didn't, he whined and pried it out of me.

He laughed heartily after I told him. Followed by me.

"I remember that," he said, 

And I suddenly realized that, except for the job, nothing had come true.
I had just walked thirty and still didn't have anyone who vowed to be by my side, till death did us part.

Bummer, 

We both fell in silence, reminiscing about the good ol' years.

And suddenly, I wanted to tell him about Gabe.
Just to share, because the truth is. I couldn't tell it to anybody.
It's not like I had a strong game in friendship over here.

"His name was Gabe," I said, looking at him. He shot me a confused look,
"The guy at the door," I clarified, to which he rolled his eyes. Letting out an annoyed sigh.