ᴛᴀʟᴋ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴛᴀʟᴋ ꨄ

nine

Alice Jones

"Hey, uh, can we talk?" Adam gently pulls me to him by my wrist. "Yeah, sure, what's up?" His dark eyes eye me, his fingers gently brushing his blonde hair out of his eyes.

Adam was definitely a handsome guy. I never really liked him though. He wasn't my type and the way he treated me isn't really a turn on.

The way Tyler treated me during my first time turned me on so much. God, I yapped about it with Cassie all week long. His soft words, talking me through it.

I fucking hate myself for admitting how fucking hot Tyler Anderson is. He has a body like a greek god. His beautiful toned abs and those muscles, fuck, I could get an orgasm just thinking about it.

I kinda felt attracted to him and maybe he's not that arrogant asshole I thought he is. "Alice?"
Oh, yeah, right, I was talking to Adam. Not the right moment to think about Tyler.

"Yes, sorry." I smile in embarrassment.
"I really wanted to apologize, for everything. I acted like a dick and I'm really sorry." He rubs his neck, not even looking into my eyes as he apologizes.

"Let's start over, please?" His brown eyes look at me pleadingly. I can't be mad at him. "Fine, come here." I open my arms, inviting him to hug.

He smiles and pulls me into his embrace as I can smell his fruity perfume. "Oh, by the way. There's a party tomorrow. Wanna come?" Should I go?

"Yeah, I'll come." He smiles. "Great I'll pick you up at seven." I suddenly hear Tyler calling my name.

Ali...

He holds up his helmet, asking me if I'm ready to go. "Sorry I have to go." I grin. Adam sighs as he sees who's calling me but nods and gives me a quick smile.

"Thanks." My eyes look up at his, his green eyes sparkling. "Of course, gorgeous." A soft smile spreads across his lips, god, I love his smile.

"I'll see you on Monday then?" I asked softly as he flipped down his visor. "I'm looking forward to it." He said and drove off.

"Hey, freak." Brian greeted me as I entered the house. He sat on the couch staring at his phone, men spreading.

"Is Susen home?" I asked as I placed my bag on the floor, taking off my shoes and sitting down next to him. "No, she's visiting your moms grave to clean it a little." Oh, this felt like a stab directly into my heart.

I don't want to cry, no one should see you cry, Alice. Stay strong. No one's here to comfort you. Deep breaths, in and out. I fixed my black dress, pressing my legs together, not being able to listen to the Priest while he talks about my mother.

I feel like I have blood on my hands even though I did nothing wrong. I can still feel her cold hand in mine, the pale face, her cheek bones showing, her skinny and weak body.
I couldn't let go of her hand but the feeling of her cold, lifeless hand in mine scared me.

I wanted to scream, I wanted to cry, run away, go with her. I don't want to leave her. Can't I save her life with giving her mine?

My tears fell onto her hand, so cold they'd maybe turn into small ice cubes on her hand. So lifeless.
My father was gone. He left, not caring about what happens to me, what happens with our family. Just leaving.

I didn't want to but I did. I broke down. Kneeling on the ground, sliding off the bench and onto the cold floor, my sobs echoing through the church.

I remember my sister taking me into her embrace, shushing me with soft strokes but her embrace wasn't warm at all, cold and harsh.

I would've never thought she'd leave me too. I wanted to yell and scream at my dad for leaving me, leaving my mother and letting us suffer on our own. I never wanted to see him again. Never ever.

And if I did I'd have to make sure not to kill him. He should never come back into my life.

I spent a few days after the funeral just sitting at my mother's grave, I broke down again when they put her coffin into that ugly ass hole of dirt. Me and my sister spent the day after planting flowers over it. Making it look pretty.

"Oh shit, I'm sorry, Ali." Brian pulls me into a soft hug, his chin resting on my head. I didn't notice the tears streaming down my cheeks as the memories came back.

I pushed them away for such a long time, I can't pretend to be okay about it anymore. "I miss her so much." I tried to get out, voice shaky and sobbing like crazy.

"I know, I'm so sorry." He rubbed his thumb up and down my arm. "I hate seeing you like this." Brian experienced the same as I did. His dad died in the military, my mom died because of cancer.

At least his mother was there for him when he needed her the most. I had no one except for Brian and Susen. Not even my sister cared for me.

Left alone in our big house, no father, no mother and no sister. "Do you think about him a lot?" I sniffle. "Yeah, I do. Sometimes I'm mad at him for going, sometimes I'm sad, sometimes I feel this guilt, thinking I haven't spent enough time with him." A big sigh leaves his lips.

I press him closer to me. We never comforted each other. Most of the time we fought but of course we cared for each other. He was like a brother to me.

"Oh, what's wrong?" Susen suddenly stands in front of us, my eyes red and swollen and Brians eyes teary.
"We cried, I guess." He sighs.

She sits down beside us, her eyes studying our faces. "Oh, my babies, come here." She opens her arms and we cuddle ourselves into her embrace.

"Everyone's allowed to cry, I cried too when I visited your mother today, Alice. There are days where I can't pretend I'm finally over it because I know I'm not."

Susen always says what I'm thinking, I look at her, nodding as she wipes my tears with her thumbs away.
After that she looks at Brian. "I know it hurts. I'm here for you, sweetheart. Just talk to me." She kisses his forehead softly.

After a while I've finally gathered myself again as we're sitting at the dinner table, eating dinner together.

"I'll be at a party tomorrow. I hope that's fine with you." I say, scrapping my fork over the broccoli. "Sure, go ahead." Susen smiles but Brian seems a little bothered by it.

"Who's party? Tyler's?" I shake my head. "Adam. A friend of mine." He nods his head. "Last name?" I sigh. "Why do you want to know?" He stabbs his fork into his steak.

"Wanna get raped? Fine, go ahead." I roll my eyes at him, we're back to fighting I guess...
"He's a friend of mine I've been out with him more than once." Susen chuckles.

"Calm down, Brian. I don't think Alice would go out with a stranger." He pokes his inner side of his cheek with his tongue. "Yeah, right." He gets up, leaving the unfinished steak on his plate.

"I'll be upstairs." He turns around and leaves the room. "I haven't heard anything from Tyler in a while, is he doing well?" Better than ever. I can't tell her we're fucking though.

I can't tell anyone besides Cassie and I can't let Tyler notice that I'm kinda attracted to him, I should act the same as I did before we had our ways at his party.

"Yeah, he brought me home today. Since Brian insists on him bringing me home." I smile slightly. "He can be so stubborn sometimes." She chuckles, thinking about her son.

"Would you mind if I go into my room now?" I ask softly, not wanting to make her sad or disappointed. "Oh of course not, sweetie. Go ahead. I'll see you tomorrow then?" I nod.

"Good night, sweet dreams." I smile. "Good night, Ali." She returns the smile and I make my way upstairs.