END GAME | Lewis Hamilton

chapter 50: heart broken

Media day was fun but that's just texas for you.

Scrolling on tiktok made me giggle at all the edits of everyone with the cowboy song and I did in fact specifically search the ones of lewis and cried laughing as I showed them to him that night.

Friday flew by; P4 in practice, then P7 in sprint qualifying. I celebrated by going out to dinner with Iris, both of us indulging in a bit too much champagne. 

The sprint itself went well enough; I came in P5, feeling confident for the race. 

Qualifying saw me in P6, which wasn't exactly where I wanted to be, but I was hoping for a good race finish to quiet the critiques that had been building since Qatar and Suzuka.

On race day, Iris and I grabbed coffee and caught up. We debriefed the weekend so far, talking about everything and nothing as we headed to the track.

 I found Max to goof around with during warm-ups, and we both geared up for what we knew would be a tough race in the Texas heat.

The sun was blazing as we lined up on the grid. The Texas heat felt intense even before the engines revved, and I knew this race would be as much about endurance as speed. 

Starting from P6 wasn't where I wanted to be, but it gave me a fighting chance to work my way up the order, especially with the track's long straights and technical turns.

As we completed the formation lap, I took a deep breath, tuning out the noise and letting the tension fade into pure focus. The lights went out, and we were off.

I had a decent launch, managing to stay out of trouble and defend my spot through the first few turns. But it was immediately clear that everyone was in attack mode. 

Carlos was directly in front, keeping a tight defensive line, while Lando, who had qualified higher, was already pressing hard to catch Lewis and Max ahead.

The race settled into a tense rhythm. I kept up my pace, balancing aggression with patience, knowing that this wasn't just about overtaking it was about timing and endurance. 

By Lap 10, the tire wear was noticeable, graining kicking in early. My engineer chimed in over the radio, "We're monitoring tire degradation, Estelle. Plan A is still two stops, but manage the pace for now."

By Lap 18, I finally saw an opening on Carlos. He'd gone wide into Turn 12, likely feeling the push from Lando just ahead. 

I took advantage of the gap, diving down the inside and moving up to P5. It felt good, like I was finally in a rhythm.Adrian cheered me on through the radio, and I radioed back, "Carlos cleared."

As we approached the pit window, Max and Lewis were still duking it out for P1 and P2, both of them having pulled away slightly from Lando and Carlos. 

I wasn't quite close enough to take on the leaders yet, but I was determined to stay close and conserve as much tire as I could for the long game.

Around Lap 24, chaos hit. A yellow flag, followed by a safety car, threw everyone's strategies into question. George had spun out, leaving debris across Turn 1. "Hold position, safety car deployed," came the call over the radio.

The pack tightened up, compressing all of us back together. With fresh tires and the group bunched up, this was a chance to gain some ground.

 As the safety car peeled away, the intensity kicked back up. I stuck close to Carlos on the restart, determined not to let him slip away.

When the green flag waved, it was like a coiled spring released. We shot off, every driver vying for position. With the field so close, it felt like a sprint race packed into these final laps.

 I found myself in a battle for P4 with Carlos and Lando, while Charles was breathing down my neck in P6.

By Lap 38, Carlos and Lando had managed to edge ahead, despite my best efforts to catch them. I knew my chance at a podium was slipping away, but I kept pushing, hoping to keep Charles behind and hold onto P5.

The heat, the exhaustion, and the pressure from Charles behind made every lap a test of focus. Max and Lewis were still battling at the front, while Lando kept a steady hold on P3. I felt like I was driving at the absolute edge, holding position without overextending.

Lap 50 arrived, and it was clear that Max, Lewis, and Lando had control of the podium. I focused on holding P5, defending hard against Charles, who was giving it everything to try and pass me. Every corner was a battle, every straight a game of cat and mouse.

In the final laps, Adrian's voice broke through the static. "Hold position, Estelle. You're in P5. Keep Charles behind, and bring it home."

With the finish line just a few laps away, I doubled down, making no mistakes, giving Charles no room to overtake. The pressure was intense, but I stayed sharp, my eyes on the line.

As the checkered flag waved, I crossed the finish line in P5, feeling the flood of relief and satisfaction. I'd fought hard and defended my position, and while it wasn't the podium, it was a strong finish in brutal conditions.

As I coasted into the pit lane, I could feel the adrenaline fading, replaced by a wave of exhaustion. It hadn't been an easy race, but finishing in the top five felt like a win. 

I had watched Max, Lewis and lando on the podium smiling happily before going back to the red bull garage going through a debrief.

As I sat through the debrief, tired but satisfied, a sudden murmur ran through the garage. 

One of the engineers cleared his throat, his expression grim. "We've just received word," he began, "that both Hamilton and Leclerc have been disqualified, an issue with their underboard. They were both picked randomly."

My heart sank.

 I'd watched Lewis on that podium, celebrating an incredible race, his best of the season. And Charles, who had been right there behind me for so many laps.

I was heading to the parking lot done for the weekend when i decide to take a short cut I had seen lewis take at the start if the week.

And well I'll tell you now I really didn't expect to see anyone there.

I was in middle of this alley where you wouldn't have been able to see me from either side when I saw Lewis his back against the wall with his AirPods in.

"Hey... what's up?" I asked as he pulled them out.

I watched him take a deep breath, "I'm really- frustrated with everything. I had an amazing race- the best one I've had since 2021 then it's all thrown away because of some silly technical result."

"It wasn't just you... Charles also got disqualified too." I tried

He shrugged, "I Guarantee you the whole grid would have disqualified if they were checked." I watch him take a deep breath, "I-I just don't know how much more of this I can take. It's so frustrating-"

I stayed quiet I knew what it was like to by heart broken by the sport I had put my life into. To see him feel that made me recall all the times I had sobbed myself to sleep wishing I would make it.

wishing that all the hours I had put it, all the sacrifices that not I had mad but my parents would be worth it. And I'd had something to show for it.

I felt my eyes water as I felt all the pressure I had every put on myself as a kid to succeed in this sport and times it by 10 as I watched him. 

It was "easy" for me and alot of the grid because we had an out, our money. But for Lewis- Formula One was his out and realising that in that moment I had never felt more guilty about anything.

"It's easy to beging in the bad time because you have hope. Hope can take you so far. But reversing it- I'm just left with a pit at my stomach." His voice was scratchy  and He gasped for air, "What if that was my last win?"

I didn't say anything as I felt the water from my eyes flood down my face as I pulled him in.

Nothing will ever break your heart as much as your realtionship with your  sport will.