like you never existed || TSCTIR

memory bubble

The cave fully crashed when the tentacle boss noticed me; it slammed the ground and slithered in front of me, away from the ice coffin. It was a large jellyfish, encapsulated in a bubble of water.

I didn't wait a single moment and raced at it. I maneuvered with psychokinesis like second nature, as I aimed to chop down every single tentacle of these bastards. I won't let its death be easy.  

The boss wasn't standing around, either. Just as I jumped, it launched its legs around my ankle like a grappling hook, dragging me across the snow. I grabbed onto it tightly and sliced it before it could bash me at a tree. I steadied myself then shot off, and created a bubble of mana when I aimed for the main body, thinking I could negate the water like that. Instead, I collided head-on with the water bubble; like it was a barrier of sorts. 

A sudden flash of memories hit my head.

[Chaewon, are you sure you want to be a hunter? Don't tell me you want to because your hyung awakened... I mean. I'm super-duper happy cause you think of me as your role model, but being a hunter is a dangerous job! You can't just recklessly decide—]

[Who said you were my role model? It just so happened I awakened.]

[Hey, you're 22, and you've got a good future ahead of you! Don't just drop out of college to become a hunter! You have a long road to go!]

[I won't die that easily. I already booked the appointment.]

[Ugh, you-!]

"...What?" 

I staggered and jumped back. What was that? Does this jellyfish have the ability to look through memories?

In that moment where I was stunned, the jellyfish disappeared, and I was instead encased in a bowl of water. I tried breaking the barrier, but no matter how I tried, it didn't work. I suppose I had to defeat the caster. 

Little bubbles began floating from the ground, with no particular destination other than drifting around. Like jewels, they flickered with memories of the past. Cautiously, I popped one.

It was a time in middle school when we had our sports festival. Choyun had pestered me to attend with him, so I agreed. We won first place.

Another tapped me.

It was a Christmas I spent with Choyun. We laughed, drank, and chatted.

It was all so vivid. Intrigued, I tapped a red one that contrasted with the rest.

"...?"

This wasn't my memory. No, it was. It was me, but it also wasn't. It wasn't our world, nor was it me. The memory was corrupted, blurring out most of the dialogue and scenery.

[It wasn't... me...]

[■■... please...wake up...]

[■■■. ■■■■? ■■■■■■!]

I grasped my head. The aftereffects were harsh, leaving me feeling drained. I concluded that it was best not to touch any more, but the bubbles had other aims in mind. One floated towards my face and splashed me with a memory I never wanted to revisit.

[I'm sorry, Chaewon. Do you want to come and live with us?]

[Chaewon, it's alright. Auntie will help you.]

The day of the funeral. The day of accepting the death of my parents. And, the day I lost my brother.

The day I tried so hard to bury.

I remember the looks of desire in their eyes. Eyes that aimed for my parent's inheritance. 

[Hyung...] A young boy was clutching onto me with puffy eyes, tears still flowing. [Where should we go now? We don't have a place to go...]

[It's okay. Hyung will figure it out.]

I said I would figure it out, but I was shaking too.

What could a child in middle school figure out about the world?

We crossed the road home that day. 

I was doused in shock, so I treaded on like a zombie. It was my younger brother who shielded me from oncoming traffic.

I found myself at the hospital the next day.

They told me they were unable to save him.

I laughed. Then cried. I was in disbelief. How could so many things go wrong so quickly?

Why? Why wasn't I the one who died? Four people lost their lives because of me. What right should I have to continue living?

 It was hard. It was hard living like that. Living alone. Living in that empty house. It was too much to bear coming home to it every day. But I also couldn't bear to sell it. 

I questioned the reason that I continued to struggle day by day. Living was so hard. Existing was so hard. Everything was so hard. I was on the brink of giving up—

Until he came into my life.

"Cough...!"

A familiar sword stabbed me from the back, penetrating right through my heart.

It was Choyun. It was he whom I held before the brink of his death. Behind him were multiple versions of Choyun from different periods. From the moment when I first met him, till the moment of his death. Their faces remained expressionless.

Another figure formed in front of my eyes.

The mutilated figure of my younger brother from that car crash. He wielded a knife and stabbed me in my stomach.

"Keuk...!"

Perhaps this was the best way for a sinner to die. This is the only atonement I could give.

My parents, the two who died from a fire; their corpses that were cremated alive to protect me, shanked me on both my flanks.

As I slowly bled to death, I had a thought.

If I had gone back 10, no, 5 years before, this could all be different.