like you never existed || TSCTIR

a distant dream

I opened my eyes, the sunlight shimmering through the blinds. I dazedly looked around, my head muddled more than usual. I wasn't exactly a morning person, but there was a feeling of... discomfort, different from usual. Perhaps I had another nightmare, but I would have remembered it quite vividly if that was the case. I tried to recall what I dreamt of. Slowly, a certain scenery came to my mind; a blue domain, like the sea, and there was something else with me there. I had a strange conversation with the thing that I saw. I could only vaguely remember the lines; this world would end, and I could escape if I joined them.

I wasn't sure what 'they' were. But since it's just a weird dream, I shouldn't focus too much on it... At the same time, I couldn't explain this feeling of disassociation. I looked at my body and felt my face, trying to figure out the source. I felt my chin a few more times. I'm pretty sure I had stubble... What? No, I never did. I'm only 21. 26? No, 33? 

I felt immense confusion. It felt that there were three of me; yet one felt so unfamiliar. I was about to stand up and check if anything else felt weird when a voice echoed in front of my door.

"...?"

It was a voice that embedded me with a wave of immense melancholy that I couldn't be sure about, the water full of sorrow, guilt, despair, and... regret. It was a strike of pain that ripped out my heartstrings and replaced it with metal pikes, the constant beating of my heart squeezing down into it. Tears swelled up and I couldn't stop no matter how much I tried. It's strange. It was just a normal day, but why am I...?

"Chaewon? Are you up yet? Today's the day for our presentation! You were re~ally excited, so you can't be late, can you?"

I didn't reply, hoping he'd just give up and leave. As if I forgot the type of person he was, he called my name and knocked on the door a few more times. "Chaewon? Are you still sleeping? I'm coming in!"

"Wait—"

I heard him open the door, but I turned my back towards him so he couldn't see me.

"Hey, you good?"

"Yes, so stop shouting. I'll be ready soon," I said, trying to chase him away. Habitually, I activated mind reading to see what he was doing. His thoughts were scrambled, but I could tell the confusion in his head. After a while, it went silent. I turned around and peeked, but it turned out that he was right behind me. He grabbed my hands which covered my face. I saw him clearly, even with tears blurring my sight.

He immediately started to panic, his inner voice screaming so loud I had to turn mind reading off. He grabbed tissues and shoved them in my face. "Chaewon?? Hey, are you okay? Why are you crying? What happened? Dude, is it all because of the presentation?? You don't have to present it! I'll do it all, okay? Don't cry... ;;"

"It's not that. Can you shut up? My head is ringing because of you."

He immediately slapped his mouth shut and kneeled on the floor obediently. After taking a minute to tidy myself up and clean my face while I listened to his thoughts, I felt bad making him worry.

"Sorry."

Hayoon looked at me, then looked down again, a little depressed.

'Just like a puppy.'

Silence permeated through the room as I stared at him. "...Why aren't you saying anything?"

Are you going to let your dongsaeng do whatever he wants? I listened to his thoughts for a while. He seemed to be looking through anything that would have made me apologise. Unlike his size, this guy was a chronic overthinker.

"Well..." He hesitantly responded and sheepishly scratched his nape. "I don't know what you're apologising for, but um... I'm glad you're okay. I've never seen you cry that hard since middle school, when you came to me crying about your favourite—"

"Hayoon." I grabbed him by the shoulders and smiled at him. "Let's keep certain things to ourselves."

[Woah! Scary Chaewon is back...]

'If you know I'm scary, then how about you don't cross the line?'

I sighed and flicked his forehead. "Just go get ready."

-

The presentation went well. Hayoon delivered it well, just like we rehearsed, while I made up for anything he forgot. It felt strange to be around the college. I couldn't put my finger on why. It's like I haven't been here in a long time.

"Are you okay, Chaewon? You've been pretty out of it today."

If even he has noticed, then I guess there is really something wrong.

"When I woke up this morning..." I paused, opened my mouth a few times, and closed it again. I couldn't articulate the feeling. The feeling that I aged, yet grew younger. Flashes of obscure memory covered things; especially Hayoon's face. It was like he was meant to be older. About... 27?

"Hey, do you need to get a check-up? The last time you were this dazed was when you came down with a serious fever," Hayoon scrunched up his face in worry, placing his hand on top of my forehead to test my temperature. I moved his hand away.

"I'm fine. Just... muddled. I think I saw glimpses of something important in my dream, but I can't quite remember..."

"Huh? Haha, did you awaken or something? I'm just saying now, but being a hunter is really danger—"

Bystanders gasped, interrupting his words by pointing at something in the sky. "Hey, look at that!"

Sounds that appeared out of nowhere assaulted my ears.. When I looked back, there was a small crack in the sky. A distortion of space; and it slowly began to turn larger. Some people watched with awe, but some were unbothered, too. It seems like they weren't worried, and were sure that an awakened would be able to take care of it. It flickered with its neon light, shining a faint blue hue on nearby structures.

"Oh, wow... A gate spawned on top of campus?" Hayoon looked at it, pulling out his phone. "I'll contact the association."

As he was dialling,  the blue hue spluttered like malfunctioning street lamps. I stared at it, watching as the blue had slowly turned into a murky magenta.

"Hayoon... Isn't that a crack in the middle?" I glanced towards him and pointed. His eyes slowly trailed the point of my finger, to the abnormal gate.

"What?"

By the time he replied, it was already too late. The blue door had long turned blood red, the surroundings bathed in its ambience. The fissure in the middle burst larger and larger until wolves leapt out, pouncing at the people nearby who scrambled to run away. 

It was an outbreak.

"Chaewon, stop looking and run! We have to get away, quick!" He propped up his phone against his ear, listening to the dialling effect and grabbed my hand to try dragging me, but I didn't budge.

What was it? I watched these wolves' red beady eyes and drool dripping greedily out of their mouths. My eyesight blurred and my fingers trembled, a feeling that I never felt before rose to my chest, like my aorta was sowed shut and blood couldn't reach my head. Hayoon's loud voice caught the attention of a few, and they watched us with a glare of savagery. Then, they pounced.

"Chaewon!"

A mechanical pencil floated out of my bag and pierced the enemy in the eye, causing it to whimper and jump back. The other two lunged but were quickly subdued by the pens that floated around me. I retrieved all of them. They weren't dead but were impaired. I continued to shove pencils into their bodies until they were a cause for trypophobia. Before I could do anything more, Hayoon's grip snapped me out of the trance.

"Chaewon... what was that? When did you awaken—"

"Ahh! Please, someone help me!"

"Kuaack!"

The campus was filled with screams, howls, and terror.

"There's no time for questions." I shook his hand off and ran in. "Contact the association. I'll deal with them right now." 

"Wait, Chaewon! That kid really..."

I didn't have any time to bother with his complaining. I'll deal with his nagging when the time comes, but right now I have only one task.