Love to Hate You

Chapter One

Jennie

I don't know how it all started, or who started it, but Lisa Manoban is fast becoming the bane of my existence. Our magical ride together began New Year's Day of this year but believe me, there was nothing festive about it.

Firstly, I was terribly hungover and not in the mood to celebrate. And secondly, it wasn't my choice. It was Lucia's.

Lucia is my little Mexican landlord, and when I say little, I'm five foot four, and she comes up to my armpit. I've known her for three years, and she speaks English better than I do. She has curly black hair with bangs that she trims herself, and the stare of a federal prosecutor. This is one of the reasons I also trust her with my life. Sometimes when Lucia is in town, she brings me home-made churros slathered in sugar because she has seen me devour a ten pack in under an hour.

So, when Penelope, my hippy roommate, disappeared New Year's Eve to join a cult (I'm not even joking), I was surprised to see Lucia turning up at my front door the very next day with this ridiculously beautiful woman by her side. At first, I wasn't sure if I was hallucinating or still drunk, but after rubbing my eyes, I realized that she was as real as they come.

Obviously, I couldn't close the door because that would be weird, so I let them in. I was standing there, all pale and pasty, when Lucia suddenly blindsided me and said, "Jen, this is Lisa, your new roommate."

The shock was immediate, and I staggered back onto the couch. Only two thoughts entered my mind (I wasn't capable of anymore). One, I was elated. The woman of my dreams would be living with me, and I didn't need to spend years and wasted subscriptions trying to find her. And two, I was mildly horrified that I only had my bachelorette pad for less than nine hours.

I noticed Lucia was giving me an odd look, and when I caught my reflection in the mirror, I could see that I still had pink party streamers in my hair.

So maybe that was it. I didn't give the best first impression but seriously, who moves in on New Year's Day and expects someone to greet them with bells and whistles?

While Lisa seemed to lug in an endless procession of suitcases and boxes throughout the day, I laid on the couch in a vegetative state and made the most of my time counting cracks in the ceiling. It wasn't that I didn't want to help; I did. In fact, I even offered (she declined). It was more that I couldn't.

I really went overboard with the drinking on New Year's Eve. My girlfriend Trixie had been a no-show, and that left me with Rosie and Miles, and a bucketload of prosecco. The two of them were bad news, and the three of us together with unlimited alcohol an unmitigated disaster.

Lucia told me while I was horizontal on the couch that Lisa was a doctor, so I was genuinely surprised when she didn't hook me up to an IV drip. God knows I could've used the hydration.

Generally speaking, I am known to be pretty responsible and work long hours as a lawyer in a boutique law firm. I am also known to blow off steam and have the odd bender, which I think is entirely acceptable in this day and age.

But as New Year's Day dragged on and my body began to merge with the couch, I got the distinct impression that Lisa didn't think much of me. I may have had a slight case of paranoia. It usually crept in as a hangover wound down, but I was almost certain that I saw a scowl. Unless that was her usual cranky face.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I was paired with an unsuitable roommate from the get-go. Obviously, I credit/blame Lucia for this mismatch. She had been friends with Lisa's mom in college, so when Lisa scored a role at St Joseph's hospital, her mom reached out, and our fate as roommates was sealed.

Unfortunately, Lucia was uncontactable. She was off on a quest for spiritual enlightenment, trekking in The Himalayas for an undisclosed amount of time. "However long it takes me," she told me five seconds after dumping Lisa on my doorstep. 

Lucia must've sensed my trepidation or seen the smoke blowing out of my ears because she took me by my sweaty, hungover palms and swore on her churros that Lisa was a wonderful girl who was smart, funny, and kind.

But she was proving to be none of those things, except maybe smart. Lucia had lied. She also omitted that Lisa was cranky, aloof, and rather hostile. Something that I am fast beginning to work out for myself.

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I'm back ☺️