the things i never said

you

i miss you.

i miss you like the stars miss the moon when it's in it's new moon phase. i miss you like grass misses the rain after a drought. i miss you like the candle misses the fire licking at the hard wax and liquifying it. i miss you like a mattress misses it's sheets.

i miss your smile. i miss your laugh. i miss your voice and your eyes. i miss the way your hair would frame your face when it was down. i miss the way your tongue would pop out while you were concentrating on understanding the reading you needed to get done for anatomy. i miss the way you'd tug up the blankets on the twin sized bed we'd share. i miss the way you'd always know i wanted a kiss without having to say a word, i just looked at you and you knew. i miss the way you'd look at me and your gaze would linger before your mouth curved upwards and you smiled at me.

i miss the way you'd comfort me when i was stressed. i miss the way you gave me a safe place to run to. i miss the way you said good morning and goodnight without fail. i miss the way we were at the beginning when things were new and exciting. i miss the way you held me the first night we had alone in the hotel room. i miss the way you asked if we were going to kiss on new years. i miss the way we kissed anyway, even though i was just past the point of my contagious stage with covid.

i miss the way your eyes lit up everytime you talked about ame. i miss the way you listened to me talk about my books. i miss the way you interacted with my friends as if they were your own. i miss the way your fingers brushed against my skin in the most innocent of touches. i miss the way your cheeks flared red whenever your roommate and i joked about anything inappropriate. i miss the way your laugh vibrated my entire body everytime we were next to each other.

i miss the way you held the doors for me. i miss the way you protected me. i miss the way you made me feel at home. i miss you.

i want you.

i cant have you.

i miss when i had you.