July 1993 where everything comes to end..

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I used to believe true love comes with "Winter" ..
with every rain drop there's a new hope, new beginning, new soul touches your deepest desires..
So I waited every winter for this unknown feeling to come and control all my emotions

December 1985 ..

another rainy day, I'm waiting for something to steal my breathe but my eyes is so hopeless and my heart is already giving up on me..
I closed my eyes but all I heard is the clock ticking loudly, I felt it was ticking inside my brain but then it stopped for a second ..
I opened my eyes but I couldn't find the clock and my room seems empty,
my heart .. what's wrong with my heart beating so hard and my body shaking

-I think you waited for a long time?!

Who said that! And why I can't see who is talking to me, but ..it was a warm voice that made my heart and body calm down
So I asked ..

"who are you, why I can't see you?!"
-Well my dear, I'd answer all your questions but not now.
"When ..!"
-When your heart breaks and you ask me to heal it.
"Wait, what does that mean..?"

A thunder hits so hard, it made me open my eyes.. so it was just a dream, but why did the rain stopped.

I changed my clothes and decided to go to my favourite book shop so I can read a new book I was waiting for.
the road and trees were completely wet due to raindrops, I stopped under the tree and looked up with my eyes closed..
raindrops on my cold face feels so refreshing, that clam wind takes me away from my reality, makes me feel like I am flying among the clouds..

After walking for 30min I finally arrived to the shop, like usual I went inside and started to search for the book but then I freezed in my place suddenly..
why my eyes are not blinking, why do I feel like this person in front of me stole all the breath in my lungs..
                     "Come a little closer.."
that was all I can think about, but I couldn't be brave enough to say it, while I was lost in my mind he looked at me with those watery eyes.. smiling like all the warmth in this world in him
Is this winter love.. the love I was waiting for..

Yes finally I had my first love but I was so foolish, I was just a kid who thought love is just a feeling that grows inside us .. I never thought love is more than "just a feeling"
Why my heart got broken that badly after all this time of waiting and hopeless nights, when I had what I begged for..
I lost it with scars on my heart..!

To be counted..

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