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Bright lights woke me up. I felt a little better today.
Toby was lying next to me and gently caressing my arm. I was lying on my stomach, and he was lying on his side facing me. He smiled gently at me and said "Morning babe, how are you feeling today?"
I was so confused, what is wrong with him, it's impossible that he is not aware of his actions yesterday. He's either pretending to be stupid or he's really stupid. How should I react now, turn my back on him or greet him normally like every morning?!"
I decided on both options "Good morning Toby" after that I turned my back to him and he snuggled up to me and kissed my neck.
I felt like screaming in frustration. Luckily Millie noticed and came to our bed and pulled me out.
Why am I behaving like this? If this was a situation on the outside, I would have told him to fuck off a long time ago.
I didn't go to the terrace that morning, I just wasn't in the mood for everyone to ask me how I was feeling. Instead I got ready for the day and decided to lie down on the daybed after making breakfast for myself and Millie as she said she wanted to come with me.
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After we ate breakfast, we laid down together on the day bed. Millie broke the silence and asked me "What was that this morning? Did you talk last night or was he just pretending nothing happened?"
"I don't know what to say Mills. Honestly, I don't think he has any idea that he did anything wrong. I just wonder, if so, when will he realize that I'm treating him differently?". I exhaled and continued "I don't understand how he can't see what he's doing, how would he feel if I did it?"
Millie said "I have to be honest and tell you that he is emotionally very immature, and he doesn't know how emotions and feelings works. And I know that he cares about you, everyone knows and sees it.. That boy adores you. But he can't handle those feelings he feels towards you.
"I understand that, I really do, but what em i suppose to do? Wait and be hurt every time he can't deal with his emotions? This hurts me, he spent the whole afternoon and evening with her and didn't even notice that I was gone when I went to sleep. And why is he the only guy she talks to? Did he even tell her he didn't want anything romantic with her?
