BETWEEN LOVE || BBANGSAZ (21+)

..8..

Hanni ignores her calls and her texts, she avoids sleeping at home, only letting Sungjin know that she's painting as an explanation for why she's not there. He never replies. She doesn't care. Despite that, she still checks her phone every ten minutes, putting it down in disappointment every time. In all honesty, she's not sure what she's hoping for, but she's also trying to that the only thing she can think about is Minji. So maybe she is waiting for a call or a text from her, maybe she is hoping that nothing changed, but deep down she knows that's not true.

She saw it in her eyes when she left. The unspoken questions, the uncertainty. She can't blame Minji. She can't blame her for anything. Hanni knows she was the one who broke her own rules.

Every goddam one of them.

And before last Friday she could still pretend she had control, she could still pretend this wasn't something more than just an arrangement for sex. But now it's Monday and all she can think about is Minji. And her lips, and how they felt so soft and tasted so sweet, so inexplicably like her.

There's no more pretending.

It's Wednesday. It's nearly twelve o'clock. She has ignored haerin and Danielle too. And she is very well aware of the degree in which she is ignoring them , because there are dozens of texts from them individually and even more in their group chat. She sees them every time she checks her phone hoping to see Minji's name.

It's Wednesday, exactly twelve o'clock and haerin is pretty much breaking down her door. Hanni takes one look at herself; outfit obviously haphazardly thrown together, hair a mess because she hadn't showered since Monday morning, eyes red and puffy.

"What the fuck?" haerin looks obviously surprised and Danielle is so shocked she can't even voice it.

Hanni walks back into her tiny living room, door still open and her best friends gaping at her. They enter cautiously, as if approaching a dangerous animal and both perch on the coffee table in front of the recliner where Hanni is currently, and has been for days, curled up in.

"What happened?" Danielle asks.

"Yeah," haerin agrees. "We were kind of expecting that we had to drag you away from your mystery lady." She tries to lighten the mood but Hanni seems to sink even further in her chair.

"What happened, Hanio?" Danielle asks again.

Hanni looks at them, her lip quivering, her eyes trying to hide a sadness that runs so deep it's a losing battle. "I fucked it up." She admits finally.

"I had rules, you know? Five rules that I started so that we couldn't mess this up. So that I could enjoy this one thing until Sungjin got his shit together." haerin and Danielle nod, their silence urging haerin on. "How hard can it be to keep five rules, huh?"

"What were the rules?" Danielle asks tentatively, immediately feeling haerin's glare boring in the side of her face.

"No kissing on the mouth. No staying after sex or sleeping over. No communication outside of the occasional text to confirm details. No naming each other to friends and/or family. No feelings." She lists. And then, softer then her entire previous rant. "And I broke all of them."

Understanding comes over the duo within seconds and they rummage around the small apartment quickly and resolutely, coming back to Hanni with two bottles of wine and two glasses. They fill the glasses themselves and then hand the bottle to Hanni, who takes a long gulp.

"Talk." haerin says.

So Hanni tells them the story. How meeting once a week turned into twice a week, how they started texting about mundane things, about that night Minji stayed over and how nice it was to just sit there in the morning and drink tea with her. How they kissed, how she couldn't stop herself and how much she wants to do it again and again. How she somehow, somewhere down the road, developed impossible feelings for this woman that she barely knows.
When will you see her again?" haerin asks. Hanni looks at her best friend for a while, then out of the window as she brings the bottle of wine back to her lips and then back to her friends.