God And The Human Finger

Prologue: Traitor

     "I ought to be thy Adam, but rather I am the fallen angel" - Mary Shelley (Frankenstein)  

A star was not twinkling.
I am sure many a star were definitely twinkling as usual, but this single one was burning deep down. Just as several men were carrying packets of cigarettes with them at the very moment when this man was burning one, between his still-not-black lips. Yeah, I know thousands of men were filling their lungs with smoke at that moment. But believe me, if there was someone who was burning his lungs willingly, then it was only him. He was killing himself. Deep down...somewhere near his soul he was stabbing a really sharp knife and waiting eagerly to see the last fragments of smoke that would release his mouth with his last exhale. He nurtured the idea of killing, smoking and seeing himself die, in the mirror. Yeah. You are right, he had true guts. Anybody could say he was a maniac in the past life. But I know he never had one. No, no... No distractions.
So, where were we? Oh, the star and the man and some sort of killing. Weren't we? Yes he was killing. Not because he was sick of living but was sick of dying. But may be, maybe God's star casters were not in his favor that night. They couldn't allow two souls to burn themselves in one night! They have to give permission to only one and they were favoring their owl folk, the big one. Yet I confirm, would he have stabbed the knife a little left, directly in his long waiting soul, there wouldn't have been a chance, but his fingers with which he had touched the God so long ago that he didn't remember... Those faithful fingers betrayed him. But what 'would've been' is only a mere fantasy, a foolish lie. Truth was only the voice. crying inside of his head.

"Pull it... Pull it be a little to left... Adam, you can do it, You can... you can... Don't you remember how you had to live alone your days when God first created you? Don't you know what's loneliness? Don't you fear it.... and fear is why you are dying... because you can't kill, though you want to... "

"But then what am I supposed to do...?" Adam's shout echoed back from the mirror.

You are destined to live, just like me, Adam why don't you get that... ? Your soul was written to live until the very end of eternity and only then, only after seeing everyone's you could see yours death and the last twirl of smoke released from you lips. No matter what happens- you die or becomes immortal, you'll be alone. Not like the burning star in that colony of twinkling souls. You were cursed to witness this immortal mortality... why don't You you get.. that?

You will always clung to your damn foolish conclusion that you don't believe in fate and You don't have faith either. You make me sick, you know? Look. That star is still burning out there. It will burn to its last shred while we bath our lives with this shiny ashy dreamy moonlight.

I wanted to shout this words towards him, but I was cut short by his sudden words! 

"Moonlight... you say?" Adam's ironical voice was shot like the venom of black mamba, "You call that f**king neon glow Moonlight, huh? It's all gone, those days, those bird waking dawns, those leaves withering autumn evenings... all are gone, but this manmade neon-glow, hah hah, what a shame! And you still believe in God, what a god-forsaken shame, hah hah ha ha..."  

I could say nothing. Not a single word, because I was mesmerized at the sight of this strange play. The play of a burning star and a human soul, willing to burn his lungs, willing to give up on life! But he could only burn cigarettes after cigarettes and could only imagine himself in the midst of the twirling smoke and twinkling sky... Just like some hero of the good old tavern legends, wearing an bottle-green cloak, with dreamy eyes...magic bow in hand... Long dead. Before the mediaeval, but still alive in the memories of the mortal souls. Not someone who's birth was created by God, who still not die after dying each day, who now hate heartbeats.

"Traitor..." Adam whispered, looking at his fingers, and suddenly the long burning star fell. Whoever saw it, felt happy. Yonder! A falling star! Maybe it'll rest in peace. Maybe... maybe... maybe... 

Because, it enlightened the whole sky and for a mere fraction of a second the night sky looked dark blue and not that black.... Just for a spilt second and then it left behind what was its own folk, the sea of stars, or souls?... The cluster of galaxies, or loves, unfurled of his long life... ? Andromeda, Sombrero, Cigar... Milky Way... All of them were left behind. That was when, the voice inside Adam's head spoke again, "It was a falling star! Why didn't you make a wish, you fool ?" Adam smiled, "I don't have faith..." is all he said. "What?" the voice snaped.

"The sky is actually colorless. You know? I don't have faith in something which holds back its true colors...."

Yeah. It's a story a human who didn't have faith.. he didn't believe in anything created by the God. He was an ultimate rebel. "Adam, do you know what they do with the rebels?"

"Who is a rebel? Me! How can I rebel against someone who is only fantasy...!"

Now, I think you feel why such a curse fell upon him. What better thing can you think of than that, when the pitiful God is the ruler? What else can you expect for an useless of a heart like Adam, than twirls of those damned smoke-fragments?

"Traitor..." He whispered again, but this time looking at the old mirror. I don't know who he was calling, because I'm not sure who or what broke his trust first. The story of God or his own desires or, his fingers... the dumbest yet the most creative fingers... of a Human...!

( To be continued... )