Bodyguard | Heesun

14

Sunoo wakes up unable to breathe. His chest feels heavy, his eyes are still puffy and he feels like someone grabbed his heart and stepped on it so many times it doesn't exist anymore.

He doesn't even want to open his eyes, doesn't want to face the world after what happened yesterday. Maybe he will be in denial for the rest of his life if that means protecting the little hope he has left.

What is he supposed to do now?

He feels the tears come back and wonders how is it possible for him to have so many. How come he's not dehydrated yet is beyond him. There's a lump in his throat and a knot in his stomach as the memories return to him, and he turns around in bed, trying to get away from them all and his body crashes against something else.

Someone.

That gets his eyes open in a heartbeat, but he relaxes when he sees who it is.

Who else? What remains of his heart whispers to him.

Sunoo remembers asking him to stay with him, remembers feeling the urgency of having him there, closer.

And that's exactly where he finds him.

Heeseung sleeps peacefully by his side, curled up as he lies on top of the covers, probably freezing.

Something about the fact that he didn't get in bed makes Sunoo want to cry again.

He's so good. Too good, maybe. He keeps telling himself that he does not deserve such kindness from Heeseung, especially after the way he treated him when they first met.

And yet, here he is.

Sunoo gets out of bed carefully not to wake him and finds a blanket and throws it over his body, seeing how he slowly uncurls once the warmth spreads through him.

Sunoo smiles a little and heads back to bed.

He doesn't think he can face the outside of his room right now, not alone.

He remembers everything, even if, at the moment, he felt like he blacked out. He wishes he had.

Once he's back in bed, he moves to be closer to Heeseung, allowing himself the luxury of admiring him up close, of counting his eyelashes and smiling at the light snores that get past the younger's slightly parted lips. He almost leans in, almost brushes his own against them, but doesn't.

Instead, he closes his eyes and lets Heeseung's breath fan against his own skin, and imagines that he's just a regular guy, living a regular life and having a regular crush.

It's easier.

"'mhyung," a tired mumble tells Sunoo that Heeseung is awake. When he opens his eyes, he sees Heeseung's battling to open, and that sweet gaze meeting Sunoo's before a smile appears on his lips. "'morning," he greets drowsily, reaching to rub the sleep out of his eyes. It is then that he seems to take notice of the blanket that is now covering him, which widens his smile and makes him sigh in amusement. "You slept well, hyung?" He shifts for his body to be even closer, although there are barely any remnants of space between them, and Sunoo almost believes that the hand that comes to caress his shoulder was meant to reach for his cheek. "'had any nightmares?"

And it is just crazy how even through the drowsy state, Heeseung still worries, still cares, still comforts.

"Can't remember, so I guess that's good," Sunoo smiles a little and nudges a bit closer. "Guess I had enough of a nightmare yesterday while I was wide awake, huh?" And he looks away from Heeseung, then. He doesn't want to talk about it but he knows that, eventually, they will have to.