The Love We Could Never Have

apologies

Alex's pov

"Guess I am that one grey cloud in sky full of blue clouds."

After the entire school thing I went straight to my house as much as I didn't wanted to go I know if I went late without telling anyone where I am going my father will definitely scold me. Laying on my bed I thought about all the events that took place today and when I remembered how I scolded Diana about coffee, I cursed myself.

The anger of not being able to practice perfectly since my ankle got sprained took the best of me and I shouted at her for such a small thing. I made a mental note to apologize.

After 5/10 mins I decided to head to library to look for new books also I needed to return my copy of "Archer's voice" I finished reading it yesterday and I can't seem to get over it. I love it soo much.

After returning it I saw Diana and someone or should I say some boy, I don't know why I got the strange feeling in my heart which was of possessiveness. I couldn't see that boy's face tho. To remove those thoughts, I was on my way to park.
 
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Here I am in the park. Seeing everyone happy makes me feel happy and sad at the same time. I guess I am that one grey cloud in sky full of blue clouds. Happy because they are living a happy life, and sad because I never got to experience such things. Sighing, I decided to go back to home.

I looked at the time and it was already 8 pm, so I decided to text Diana about the project and she said that we'll talk about it in school so I texted okay. Suddenly I heard a gun shot, it must be from the basement. I closed my eyes and the memory flooded back, in my head

Alex's flashback (6yrs ago)

I heard shouting from the basement and I decided to look even tho father told me not to but curiosity got the best of me. I searched for the source of te voice, and I saw a man tied up on the chair begging my father not to shoot, and I saw my father holding a gun. Fear rushed through my veins as I looked at him pointing the gun at that man. "You think you can betray me and I won't notice?" My father said in stone-cold voice, even tho I hear it every day I never got shivers until now. "Please leave me I won't do it again please" the man begged while crying, my father went silent and suddenly, he shot the gun. I flinched very badly and ran upstairs. I cried, I couldn't sleep the entire night, how can someone kill someone soo easily? From that day I decided that I never want to be like my father.

Memory ended

I decided to play guitar to relax myself. And I played 'delicate' by Taylor Swift. Her songs and Lana Del Rey's songs are oddly relatable even tho I've never been heartbroken or been in a toxic relationship.

Time passed by, and it was 9 pm I heard my mom calling me for dinner even tho I had lost my appetite to eat I still went downstairs knowing my mom won't let me sleep without eating. I eat the dinner silently and went upstairs without saying a word, I laid down on my bed, and looked at the stars, and moon shining soo brightly even in the darkest of times, and I guess that's the thing that keeps me going the stars, the moon, the grey cloud in the sky full of blue ones, the autumn leaves, the spring, the storm, everything about nature tells me to keep going, that, bad times will be over, and good ones will come soon, only 3 years and I'll be free I'll take mom with me and we'll leave this house. A Haunted House, a house filled with bad memories, A dark place, a house that I can't call home. Thinking that I fell a sleep.
Little did I know, my mom came into my room and kissed me on my forehead before going to sleep.