For some context later on, this whole argument is brought on by his parents death. Any other mentioned deaths happened before this and Ben is just blaming himself for it all.
"You've become so damaged that when someone tries to give you what you deserve, you have no idea how to respond!"
Ben had no clue how to respond to that. The way it was shouted at him, as Erica stood there breathing heavily. So he just stood there, silently watching waiting for her to explain.
"You keep acting like its all your fault. Like somehow its always your fault that they died. As if you failed." Erica continued as she stared him down, waiting for him to blink first. "You think that you could have done something to stop it, that you could have prevented it. But you couldn't have."
"BECAUSE ITS TRUE!" Ben screamed at her, finally finding his voice, and quickly growing tired of the argument. "If I had just been better, if I had just put the clues together earlier then my parents would still be alive! If I had been a bit faster we could have called someone and saved them!"
"We were on the other side of the world. Even if you had called someone there is no grantee that they would have gotten there in time." Erica shot back. Trying not to yell back and make things worse.
"I had three days to figure it out Erica! THREE DAYS! With nobody attacking us, with all of the clues right in front of me!" Ben threw up his hands. "The only reason they died is because I was to fu-"
Erica pushed him against the wall, tired of Ben not listening to her, "They gave you three days. You parents we already being followed for those three days. The second the people who did this knew you were coming they would have killed them. There was nothing you could have done."
"There is always something I could have done. For all of them. For my parents, for Mike, for Zoe. All of them." Ben sagged as he said this.
"The only thing you could have done to save Mike and your parents to have turned down you chance to join the school." Erica stated. "The second you joined. The second you stopped SPYDER for the first time, they had a target on their backs."
"I wish I had never accepted that offer." Ben whispered, as he slid his back down the wall till he was sitting on the ground.
"If you hadn't, we'd all be dead." Erica said softly as she sat next to him and leaning her head on his shoulder. "If you hadn't said yes. We all would have died anyways."
Ben was silent for a long time lost in thought, and Erica was content to sit with him. Just in case he needed her.
"What did you mean when you said I was damaged?" Ben finally asked.
Erica thought for a moment, putting her words in order before slowly beginning. "...You blame yourself for everything... always assuming its you who failed. You've gotten so wrapped up in that worldview that you can't see all of the good you have brought about. You can't see that you deserve kindness or love. So you just..." Erica paused for a moment looking for the right words.
"Kill it?" Ben supplied.
"No... its more like you reject it." Erica replied, "You tell yourself that your friends can't possibly care because you think your such a screw-up."
Erica lifted her head from Ben's shoulder before gently resting her hand on his chin to get him to look at her. "You're one of the only friends I got left Ben. I care about you. So don't go around giving up on yourself. Cause I need you."
Ben searched her eyes looking for any hint of dishonesty. After awhile he finally nodded, "I won't go anywhere." Before turning his head away and resting it against the wall.
Once again Erica gently rested her head against Ben's shoulder, "You better not."
