Submerged

X. Maniac hope.

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   Antonia was in her new room, her heart racing a mile a minute. She was sweating profusely. She had spent hours searching and had failed, different ideas of what to do next swirling in her mind when suddenly someone gently knocked on the door. She adjusted her hair and pretended to be calmly tidying up.

   "Come in," she said with all the calm she could muster.

   "Hey..." Nadine whispered without much emotion as she opened the door. "Are you okay? You look a bit pale and... flustered?"

   "Oh, yeah," Antonia let out a nervous laugh, embarrassed by the volume of it, she looked away from Nadine's curious eyes. "I'm just feeling a bit warm."

   "Alright..." Nadine didn't conceal her puzzlement, but she was too tired to press for the truth. "Leonardo has summoned us all to the opera, apparently he has a big announcement."

   "Oh, right, yeah. Let's go."

   Antonia walked towards the door with a smile, waiting for Nadine to start walking. Both of them felt uncomfortable in each other's presence, even though they had been a safe haven for each other in the past.
   They walked through the hallways towards the stage room. Antonia moved her hands constantly with a strange smile that struggled to disappear. Nadine, with her head down, walked with her hands in the pockets of Rosadella's hoodie, fiddling with the zipper.

   "You recovered quickly..." Nadine began slowly.

   "Yeah, well, they say you're addicted for life. It's something I'll have to struggle with forever," Antonia frowned at her own words, they sounded rushed and uncomfortable. She felt like she had forgotten how to behave.

   "Yeah, right... I meant the memories, therapy seems to be helping," Nadine responded softly, trying to get Antonia to open up to her.

   "Oh, yeah!" Antonia laughed, Nadine didn't understand why. "Leonardo helped me with that. He says that any sexual activity will probably be a challenge for me at first, but you know: patience."

   Nadine didn't respond, she simply raised her eyebrows in puzzlement at the joy in Antonia's voice, but the harshness of her words. Antonia laughed again and wished the ground would swallow her up for her awkward words.
   They continued walking. Antonia made irrelevant comments, Nadine responded with monosyllables, in her mind she remembered the hour before:

   Rosadella and Nadine were still sitting on the floor, embraced, when someone knocked on the door. "Come in, Leonardo, it's all right," said Rosadella. The sound of a key was heard and then Leonardo entered with a sympathetic smile. They talked about Nadine's family situation, who mentioned that nothing was certain, but it was the only lead she had on them. She had to go to the shelter and figure out how to proceed from there. She tried to ignore the fact that if it was them, she would find one less member in the family. Mixed feelings were driving her crazy, her heart didn't know whether to wish it was them or not. At the same time, memories of her younger brother Irving and Wilfred mingled like a cocktail in her mind.
   Leonardo sat in front of them, both smiled at him and he couldn't help but think that they both seemed to shine when they were together. Nadine's sad gaze and Rosadella's worried expression, who seemed to be in the process of memorizing every freckle on Nadine's face, distracted Leonardo. He decided to occupy their minds with another topic, at least for a while. He began to brief Nadine on what would be discussed at the opera, Rosadella already knew everything from the beginning. One thing led to another and they ended up talking about Antonia. Leonardo, gesturing dramatically with his elderly wrinkled hands, began to explain that he was very worried about Antonia. "She's not well, I don't know what happened, but... She had opened up to me, the first time I went to talk to her as a psychologist she started telling me everything she remembered, and supposed, from the parties. I didn't even have to ask her! Then we talked about how she felt about her sobriety, she was sincere, I can tell. But in the next session she pretended to be perfectly fine, ignored the topic, saying there was nothing to talk about, that she was already fine.