Submerged

XV. Autopilot.

"I knew I'd curse you for the longest time
Chasin' shadows in the grocery line
I knew you'd miss me once the thrill expired"

cardigan - Taylor Swift

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   The death of love is one of the greatest griefs, but sometimes not even the most anticipated death can bring about the end of that love. Condemning those who remain here to watch over an impossible future.

   The ship rocked violently, speeding towards Iceland. They were circumnavigating the United Kingdom. Antonia traveled in a cabin that had to be assigned only to her, as she was completely out of her mind. Once tied to a bed, she screamed all the time, saying they should release her, that stress was not good for her baby.

   Rosadella ate little, spoke nothing. Sometimes she could be found wandering outside the ship. Seeing her was like watching a human being living on autopilot, as if her soul had suddenly turned off. She was not dead, but she was barely alive. Someone watched over her twenty-four hours a day, knowing she would not become a drowned person since it hadn't happened at the time of her loss, nor would it happen during the trip. She clung tightly to a photograph and a stuffed toy; the volunteers believed this had something to do with the fact that she hadn't drowned.

   After countless panic attacks thinking she had lost her child, Antonia calmed down, saying it was just a scare, that her baby was fine, and stopped behaving violently. Thanks to that, they could untie her from the bed, but she remained locked up there, after all, she had committed a crime. The volunteers took her on board despite this because they believed she was really pregnant. Rosadella said nothing, so there was no way to doubt it. More than once they tried to ask Rosadella what had happened at the port, but she did not respond, so they gave up.

   They tried to ask Antonia, but completely confused, she looked at them while repeatedly saying she didn't know what they were talking about, that she didn't remember the things they were asking her about. When they mentioned Nadine's name, she didn't respond, but the panic and violence attacks returned. So they had to give up on that as well.

   Soon they would reach Pangea, from there with Greta's help they would see how to proceed with this matter.

   The sunset came, the waves turned golden, and in the horizon, they saw their destination. Rosadella, staring at that place that without Nadine meant nothing, took the last photograph they had taken together and wrote on the back:

   "Maybe it's not the present that hurts us so much, maybe it's looking at the past and seeing all that we lost. All that we could have been, died. And the earth is dying too, and all I can think about is how much

I miss you."

   That morning at the port of Amsterdam, not one person died, but three. The ship sailed away to leave behind the lifeless body of Nadine, the remaining sanity of Antonia, and the dreams of Rosadella... once again she had loved and lost.

   They were ghosts that would haunt them for the rest of their lives.

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⊱     End of Part Two: Something to believe in.    ⊰