Sincerely Adeline

Journal Entry #3: Words and Actions

Dear Journal,

Is it possible for my hand to be shaking more? Is it possible for it to stop? Slade got a letter in the mail today. It... It...

Why can't life be fair? Why can't I get a grip on myself? I knew that this might happen. I knew it. But everything was just going... so smoothly. So perfectly. The wedding, it was wonderful. It was a glorious feeling to put on that dress and walk down that aisle. The anticipation before hand, it made me jittery and energetic. It reminded me during the tough times between them to keep holding onto.

I loved that after a day of planning for the wedding, Slade and I would take a walk. Just a walk, anywhere, I didn't really care where. Just as long as we were together for that short thirty or sixty minutes. It made me feel at peace and calm. I loved the feeling of his hand in mine, his strong, rough hand holding mine like it was porcelain. And when he'd give me his jacket during the chilly evenings... It made me know I was doing something right.

My mother was actually wonderful when it came to finding a dress and planning the after party. It was a lace filled dress, but in a light, elegant manner. It had a silkiness to it. And it made me feel like I was lighter than air sometimes. I still remember the ceremony. I felt that jittering in my stomach. I remember holding the flowers in my hands and then the doors opening.

The swords all were pulled out and raised by Slade's unit. I looked through the veil I was wearing and slowly stepped forward, walking on petals that had been thrown over the white carpet. It was so... so... so much like a fantasy. I guess that's what that day in a girl's life is supposed to be like. And it was for me.

And just getting up to the alter. Slade was dressed in his Army uniform, with all of his medals shining. The smile, on his face, he just brightened up when I came in. You don't know how wonderful a feeling that was just to see that. It wasn't something that I expected and to know that your presence in a room will make one person happy, it's incredible.

The 'I do's' became more than a saying, it became a commitment. They were given meaning. It just, the experience of a wedding, it was, alive. It was real. It was everything that I had never actually dreamed of, but everything that I needed. Even though I never really wanted a man, it became so wonderful when I found a man that loved everything about me. Slade didn't care about my flaws or my weaknesses.

I knew that he didn't. I knew it when he put that ring on my finger that that was true.

I know that this might seem like a fantasy. I know that to most, he's not the romantic type. I'm not saying that he is. He doesn't write poetry, he doesn't give me flowers on a regular basis or give me chocolates or anything like that. But he does things that make me smile. He does the little things. And it makes all the difference.

Kissing him once we were 'man and wife', I felt like Cinderella's Happily Ever After was happening to me. He picked me up and carried me to the car where we drove to the airport. I think he toned up a little more for this, too.

The ride to the airport was an adventure in itself. Slade kept sneaking side glances at me until he finally almost landed us both in the hospital. I took the wheel after that, but was surprised when I started to do the same. All in all, I was surprised that we made it to the airport in one piece. As we got out, the following conversation (from what I remember) started.

"I'll carry the stuff, Addie," He said, as he opened the trunk.

At that, I got out, my clean white wedding dress brushing the garage floor, and picked up three suitcases and said, "I think I can handle it."

He chuckled and muttered, "You are Mrs. Wilson."

I hit him on the head with a small bag after that and smiled, "You are so lucky I married you."