Lovesick

Chapter V

I didn't tell Lucas about my breakup with Emma. He didn't ask if anything had happened between us, even though he could see we no longer talked to each other. I figured I didn't need to state the obvious. I did notice he seemed... a bit uneasy. But I assumed it was because he felt responsible—which doesn't mean he felt guilty—and was just worried I would confront him about it. He must have expected Emma to tell me the things he had said. Any normal person would have been upset upon finding out their best friend had tried to steal their girlfriend, but, fortunately for Lucas, I was far from normal.

It became even more apparent that something was going on when I went to his place a few days later to study together during the weekend. He kept throwing glances in my direction, but whenever I caught him in the act, he would look away immediately and pretend to be absorbed in his reading. It was suspicious for sure, but would there be any point in asking what was wrong? Knowing him, probably not. He would tell me if he wanted to. If not, no amount of pestering would have changed anything.

I ignored the weird atmosphere and focused on studying, while Lucas spent most of his time doodling on his textbooks, complaining and asking me for help as a last resort when nothing could distract him enough. It gave me the perfect excuse to sit next to him, where I could watch him from up close. I could pretend I was just checking if he was paying attention to shamelessly drink in every detail of his face. Aside from using my shoulder as an armrest, he did nothing to even acknowledge how much of his personal space he was sharing with me. He didn't seem to find it odd, uncomfortable, or even worthy of a reaction.

A few hours later, we went downstairs to have dinner with his parents. By the time we were done, it was already pretty late. His father offered to drive me home, but Lucas didn't give me a chance to even think about it and said I would stay the night. He didn't leave me much choice, but it's not like I would have ever said no to that, so it didn't bother me. In fact, I was more than happy to indulge him.

Lucas and I always shared his bed whenever I spent the night at his place. It was a habit we had taken back when we were kids, because we liked to watch movies or play video games or just talk until we fell asleep. Out of concern for my comfort, he refused to let me sleep on the floor. He said it made for such a pitiful sight that he felt bad for me, and how could I ask him to go to sleep with a guilty conscience? Even as we grew older, we never got out of the habit. They did have a guest room that I tried to use a few times, but then, he would text me in the middle of the night because he was awake and bored and wanted to chat. It was ridiculous to send each other texts when we were just a few rooms apart, so I would always go to him and end up in his bed regardless.

He was so comfortable around me that it didn't even register to him how the situation might have looked to other people. His parents were also so used to it that they never questioned it. To be fair, there was plenty of room in his bed, to the point where any physical contact between us was unlikely to happen. But there were times when our legs would accidentally touch under the covers, and it would end up in a bit of a childish fight to push the other away.

I did feel lucky being able to share such an intimate space with him, but I wasn't delusional. I understood what that meant. It was a clear sign he saw me more as a pet than a human being. If he hadn't been so at ease with it, it would have at least meant he was conscious of me. Still, I wouldn't have given that away for anything. You take your blessings where you can find them.

Just when I was starting to drift off to sleep, Lucas broke the quiet. "Hey, by the way. Isn't there something you forgot to tell me?"

My eyes blinked open. I was too tired to even try to make sense of his cryptic question. "What are you talking about?"

"You broke up with Emma, didn't you?"

I was stunned for a moment. Why was he suddenly bringing that up? "Yeah?"