Lost and Found

Singer?

It's been eight months since Velvet was diagnosed with cancer. I still lie awake some nights wondering if there was any way we could've avoided this. My friendship with Ritz slowly faded away as the months went on because he explained he couldn't bear seeing me throw my entire life away just to take care of my sister, but it would be selfish of me to keep going on and having fun while she was clinging on to life. I graduated from university with a biology degree but once Velvet was diagnosed, I just threw it into storage.

Though, here I am in my room and on my laptop looking up more info on mesothelioma and some of the different treatments out there. This has become almost a weekly routine for me, hoping that something new will show up and I could run it by Ritz's mom. She's honestly been the best over the course of all of this. She's been paying for most of Velvet's medication or giving it to me at a lower price, and she's comped a lot of Velvet's hospital bills.

I put an entry on the search bar of my laptop and came across an article from one of the hospitals in Mount Rageous that was figuring out a new type of treatment for the exact cancer Velvet has. Holy shit, this is perfect! I grabbed a sticky note from my desk drawer and wrote down some key points from the article before shooting out of my chair and then out of the room. I think Velvet was on the couch when I came back from grocery shopping so I made my way over to the living room and sure enough, there she was… writing something?

"Whataya have?" Velvet jumped a little bit when I spoke so she was definitely lost in her thoughts and whatever was on that paper. I moved over to the front of the couch and sat down next to her.

"Nothing, just something silly." She handed the paper to me and I took it to read over. Along the top was the word 'Dreams' underlined and written in beautiful cursive and it was decorated with stars doodled around it. As my eyes went to the middle of the small piece of paper, the list read:

- Singer
- Girlfriend
- Cat or dog
- Yacht party

"Seriously, a yacht party?" I snorted as Velvet gently punched my arm.

"What? Everyone would dream of a big party out on a glamorous yacht for hours with good music blasting." Touché, that does sound like a lot of fun. 'Singer' really stuck out to me though. I know we both love going out to karaoke or singing in the car, but she loves it that much that she'd want to pursue it?

"Singer?" Velvet lit up and clasped her hands together once I mentioned it. It makes me so happy seeing her this excited over anything. All the work I do just to pay rent and put food on the table, all the times I had to sit next to her in a waiting room or late at night in the bathroom while she coughed up blood, they almost seem to fade from my mind whenever I see her smile. It just makes everything worth it.

"Yeah! The idea of being up on a stage with all lights and focus on me while I sang my heart out with songs that I got to write, It just seems like a literal dream come true despite my garbage voice. Y'know?" The glimmer in Velvet's eyes made me sigh knowing that her dream might never be attainable. I looked down at the sticky note in my hands before Velvet spoke up about it.

"What's that?" I quickly crumpled the note in my hand. We just had a normal conversation about my sister's dreams, I don't want to ruin that by bombarding her with stuff about her sickness.

"Ohh, just something silly." She giggled at me reusing her words and then I wrapped my arms around her in an embrace which she returned. Once we let go, I put the TV on for her and then got up off the couch to go back to my room. So she wants to be famous, huh?

I opened the door to my room and sat back down at my computer desk. My laptop was already open from before but I closed the multiple tabs about mesothelioma and typed 'how to get famous quickly' into the search bar. Holy shit there's a lot of articles. One caught my eye though the further I scrolled down.

"'How Trolls Affect Other Species'. Why's that coming up?" I whispered to myself because I don't want Velvet to hear me and our apartment is quite small. I clicked the link and scrolled down to the actual information I needed which was listing all the species and the effects in a chart.

Apparently Trolls release a special kind of essence which works differently on almost every creature. Cool. So on Trolls themselves, the essence works as an aphrodisiac? Jesus, I guess that's useful for reproduction considering not long ago they were getting eaten by the Bergens.

Speaking of which, their essence works as an antidepressant on Bergens. That would certainly explain why they kept eating them. On Vacaytioners, it works as a hit of serotonin. Is that why that one redhead girl who was married to the Troll was so chill when I went to Vacay Island? She was so nice, I kind of miss her. Ooh! Rageons are next.

On Mount Rageons, Trolls essence works like pure talent. It can be taken away from a Troll and given to a Mount Rageon!? That's why this article popped up. Maybe if I found a Troll and brought it back..?

"No, I can't use a Troll. That's bad, that's really really bad!" Suddenly my phone started ringing and when I looked at who it was, it was Ritz's mom. I hit the answer call button and put the phone up to my ear.

"Hey what's up?" She was quick to respond but it was in a lower tone than her usual voice which made my stomach feel a bit uneasy.

"Velvet's test results came back." I would typically call Velvet in to hear her test results because whenever we got good news, we'd always celebrate it somehow by doing something like making a bunch of treats and doing a movie marathon. However, because of how the doctor's voice sounds, I'm not exactly sure if I should call her in.

"That's great! What'd they say?" My voice cracked and sounded panicked despite me trying to cover it up. A sigh was heard on the other line. God please don't say it. Please don't.

"Veneer, sweetie, we've tried everything we can and we have the best doctors working on Velvet, but the cancer isn't slowing down or showing any signs of going away." Fuck.

"...Oh" I could feel my chest tightening and my bottom lip wobbling. But we did everything we were supposed to. Why is this happening? It's not fair. Why couldn't it have been me instead? Why does my sister have to go through this while I get to live my life? She hasn't done anything to deserve this.

"How bad is it?" My voice was shaky but I needed to know more.

"She was diagnosed eight months ago and the average life expectancy is four to eighteen months. At the rate she's going, I hate to say it, but I don't think we have very long left with her." I clasped a hand over my mouth and felt the tears cascading down my face. I pulled the phone away from my ear and immediately hung up and threw myself on top of my bed. My sobs were loud as I was practically screaming into my pillow which would soon be drenched in my tears. I heard my door fly open and I turned my head to be met with a panicked and panting Velvet.

"What's wrong?!" She laid herself down on the bed next to me and rubbed circles along my back before sighing. She knows.

"The doctor called again, didn't she?" I rolled onto my side and nodded my head after sniffling a few times.

"Ven, I love you so much and I love everything you do for me, but we both have to come to terms with the fact that I'm not gonna be here much longer." Her hand moved from my back and she began tracing circles on my arm instead.

"You need to learn how to live once I'm gone... and for god's sake, get a boyfriend already!" She grabbed one of my pillows and threw it over my face which made me laugh. She's always known how to cheer me up which I'll never understand. I feel like I should be the one cheering her up but she's always been so optimistic while I was slightly pessimistic. I took the pillow off my face and sat the both of us up.

"I love you too, Vel." She smiled at me but quickly turned her head to start coughing. Crap, more blood. I grabbed a half drank water bottle and a box of tissues from my nightstand and handed them to Velvet so she could wipe some of the blood off her lips and rinse her mouth out. Once she did that, I gave her yet another hug. I looked over her shoulder at my computer desk to see the article still open on my laptop showing a map of where Trolls are usually located.

If I'm doing this for her, I'm doing it now.