𝙣𝙤𝙨𝙚𝙗𝙡𝙚𝙚𝙙𝙨 - byler oneshots ☆

𝙞 𝙬𝙞𝙨𝙝 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙖 𝙜𝙞𝙧𝙡 ⚣ (part 2)

WOOHOO 50 reads!! how cool is that!!

ok so- I KNOW WHAT I SAID ABT TIM I WISH YOU WERE BORN A GIRL LAST CHAPTER BUT I LIKE THIS SONG TOO-

im actually so excited abt this chapter RAHH <33 any excuse to talk abt mikes internalized homophobia I WILL TAKE. clearly i am passionate abt this :333 anyways this chapter is gonna slay, im planning on it ending in fluff, so dont worry abt that. aaaaaaand enjoy!! XD

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   Mike's mind was reeling. Will's words echoed in his mind, I wish you were a girl. Now? Will had to say that now?

   Mike had always felt so conflicted about this. These feelings hurt. He loved Will. That was undeniable. And he had tried to deny these feelings, he really had. But he couldn't. Mike Wheeler was in love with a boy and that was scary. He had been told all his life that it was wrong. That he was "broken" or gross for feeling the way he did. His dad had drilled these beliefs into him for as long as he could remember. Liking a boy wasn't a luxury Mike had. But he loved Will. More than anything. More than he had loved El, more than he had ever loved anyone. So he tried.

   He tried so hard to push past these beliefs. They were the foundation of his world, it was what he had believed was true for nearly his whole life. Completely changing the way Mike thought about things wasn't easy. But he was trying. He was trying for Will. There was nothing Mike wanted more than to feel comfortable loving Will, to not be scared of his sexuality the way Will was. Will wasn't unsure and scared every time he kissed Mike. And finally Mike was beginning to not be either. In the beginning, every kiss made shame swallow him whole. Everytime their lips touched, it felt equivalent to Mike lighting things on fire for fun, like he was committing some horrible crime every time he simply let himself love Will. But now it didn't. Sometimes he still hesitated. And sometimes, in the middle of the night, when sleep was plaguing his brain, but he still couldn't sleep, he felt guilty. But now he was able to shut those feelings out. He was so proud of himself. He finally thought loving Will might not be so hard anymore.

   But right when Mike finally wasn't scared anymore, right when had convinced himself this wasn't wrong, Will basically told him it was. Will being scared of his sexuality, the way Mike was, terrified him. Will had been his role model this whole time. Will was scared of other people's opinions, not his own. He knew this wasn't wrong, he knew this was ok. Wasn't it?

   Maybe it wasn't. Maybe Mike was disgusting and wrong for feeling this way. Maybe his only hope was to admire Will from afar, hating himself for the warmth that swelled in his chest when he looked at him. Maybe he and Will were a lost cause.

   Mike felt himself sink to the floor. He tucked his knees to his chest, and he held his head in his hands as tears fell from his eyes.

   This is wrong. This- this feeling is wrong. I'm wrong for loving him.

   "Mike??" Mike looked up quickly, looking up at a terrified Will. Will's face looked blurry through Mike's tears, but he could still clearly see the fear and concern on Will's face. "Mike what's wrong?"

   Mike furiously wiped his tears off his face, but Will bent down and grabbed his wrists. "Mike, look at me. What's wrong? Are you okay?"

   Mike looked at Will's scared face, and somehow, the idea of scaring Will the way he had, felt worse than his fear of loving a boy. Mike managed to calm himself down, and muttered a quiet "I'm sorry" to Will.

   Will sat next to him, and pulled him into his arms. "Shhh, it's okay. You have nothing to be sorry about."

   "You were right. I wish I was born a girl so we could be together. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm so broken." Mike cried into Will's chest

   Will cupped Mike's face in his hands and looked him in the eyes. Their faces were inches apart, and their noses brushed against each other. Will's eyes were shining with determination. Mike knew that face well.

   "Stop. You have nothing to apologize for. I was wrong. I didn't mean what I said, it was on impulse, I didn't think about it. I don't wish you were a girl. In fact, I'm so glad you're not. I love you Mike Wheeler. And I love loving you."

   Mike was silent for a second "...Yeah?"

   Will gently pushed his face closer and closed the gap between their faces. Will kissed Mike ever so gently, and Mike mimicked him, kissing him back just as gentle. Mike could feel shame begin to creep up in him, but he shoved it back down. This is where I'm meant to be.

   Will pulled away, still holding on to Mike's face. "Yeah."

  Will stood up and offered Mike his hand, pulling Mike up from the floor.

"Will?" Mike said quietly

"Yeah Mike?"

"I love you too."

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ok i actually rly like this one UHH- WHY IS THIS ACTUALLY KINDA GOOD WHAT- also idk if anyone caught it, but there was a heartstopper reference in here >:33 its kinda short, but i think thats ok-UH THATS ALL HOPE YOU LIKED THIS (799 words)