☆GUILTY LOVE☆

06

Jealousy is the definition of feeling insecure and wanting to be someone else because there life seems better but why cant i just have that life?
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I ignored my parents on the way to my room, it was the same routine everyday my moms shouts telling my bad to spend time with us and to take some time off but as usual he would always chooses money over family. I was tired of this life of this place of my parents but I couldn't do anything because this was my life. I grabbed my headphones from my night stand and drowned my thoughts in music so I wouldn't think something that I would later regret.

I took a nap but I was woken up by mom telling me dinner was ready, when I got to the dinner table I couldn't help and think that if I ate the food I would grow fatter then I was already. And to make matter worst I looked that my phone since a starlight gram notification popped up.

Aimi has followed you.

I opened her starlight account and woah she had 100k followers but who wouldn't follow her she's beautiful she has the dream body any teenage girl would want. I looked that her picture and couldn't help and pinch my stomach knowing that my weight was twice as much as her. I was so focused in her account that I didn't notice that my mom was calling me.

"Mary darling eat your food before it turns cold." She smiled as she ate her food.

"I'm not hungry mom I'll skip dinner today." I left my chair and quickly left the dinner table. I sat in my bed and grabbed my phone to continue stocking Aimi's account but really I shouldn't have because it only made me insecure and feel jealousy that I never thought I would feel and why should I she's my Friend. I went to my mirror and saw the body that would only make boys throw up and the face that would make girl want to punch it, I felt sick to my stomach I was sick of myself I hated myself. I stayed awake the whole night knowing that when it would turn midnight I would do something that only I know of not even Nobara knows I do this.

So when it turned midnight I made my way over to the pantry and grabbed cookies chips and as much junk food as I could carry to my room. Once I was in my room I quickly opened the snakes and stuffed my face like a pig who hadn't ate all day. The feeling was good it felt as if all my worries were gone it was calm but I knew it wouldn't be enough so I went to the bathroom and kneeled down and shoved my fingers up my throat the feeling was good enough to make forget about my problems I continue doing this until I finally threw up all the food I had stuffed my face with.

I sat there in the same place with my knees in my chest I was sleepy but I made myself stay awake so I could do another round of the sin that I was doing to my body. What can I say it felt better than drowning in my worries.

Today was going to be a long night.

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Beep beep I heard the clock from my night stand I stay awake all night throwing up all that stress I had inside me , but it wasn't enough I need More. I grabbed my phone and searched up vapes I knew it was a bad idea so o just closed the tap. I wasn't going to throw away my lungs because I was insecure and felt jealous my lungs didn't do anything wrong. I got up with the little strength I had left and got ready for school, I did my braids and out on my glasses and left my house looking like granny something you would never see Aimi wearing.

"Morning Mary!" Nobara shouted as she ran close to me.

"Morning.." I sound dead which I was dead but mentally.

"Hey what's with the gloomy mood lighten up!" She punched my shoulder.

"My bad.." I chuckled my life may be full of stress but I still had her my lighter in my darkest moments.

"Let's get going before we arrive late again."

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There I was again awkwardly setting next to Yuji, I didn't know how to start a conversation without thinking about Aimi..I still couldn't believe she liked Yuji. But does Yuji like her? That's the real question. I dropped my pencil on my desk and started that Yuji as he continued to write notes. He looked so handsome it was almost as if he was made from a comic book.

"Is something wrong Mary?" Boom his eyes met mine. I quickly broke eye contact and looked into my pencil case like if it was the most important thing in the world.

"Uh no I just thought I.. lost my eraser!" I showed him my pig eraser.

He chuckled "that's a cute eraser you have there! But I don't know how that would be in my face." He pointed  to he's face.

"Uh this isn't my eraser I mean it is! Oh and I don't I just spaced out!"  I felt sweat drops on my forehead and hands.

"It's alright! I don't mind you staring that me.. it nice ." He smiled

I returned the smiled as I focus on my work well pretended I just couldn't help and think that Yuji likes the fact that I stare that him. Normally people would find it weird but he didn't.  I took a sneak peek to see the side of his face, if only I could tell him how I feel. But I knew that wouldn't be happening anytime soon after all my friend liked him and I was already with a someone that I didn't love.

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End of chapter hope you enjoyed! Please follow me if you are looking for updates or have any suggestions for me to add to this book or for future books.