A Cyborg in Time

The Abysmal Altercation of the Abominable Altitooth!

This is George Beard and Harold Hutchins.

George is the kid on the left with the tie and the flattop.

Harold is the one on the right with the T-shirt and the bad haircut.

Remember that now 'cause they're finally in the same summer camp.

-Ready for the best summer ever? -I was born ready and three weeks late.

So George and Harold make comic books - We're cool! - Me, too! Now they're summering at summer camp And Mr.

Krupp is, too -Blah, blah, blah! - Once they used the hypno-ring And first they made him dance Then accidentally, kinda on purpose Turned him into Captain Underpants Tra-la-la! With a snap, he's the Captain Flying through the trees And don't forget when he gets wet - You're sure to feel the squeeze! -Blah! Put it all together What could possibly go wrong? Now this is the end Of the Captain Underpants song! - By George Beard and Harold Hutchins - Tra-la-camp! The Abysmal Altercation of the Abominable Altitooth.

Chapter 1: Jerk in the Box.

Ow.

What kind of madman sells the camp's volleyballs and replaces them with a hornets' nest? The kind of madman that uses a satellite dish to work on his tan.

He looks like a raw turkey.

-Come on, it's payback time.

-Yeah.

Let's roast that bird.

-Should we make stuffing? -Already done.

-Wow, he's on fire.

- Must've been the butter.

Ahem! Hmm.

What is that, stuffing? When did I eat stuffing? Anyway, listen up! The Federation of United National Camps, aka the FUNC, aka the "funk," is coming to take my picture.

I am the cover boy for their July newsletter! So that's why he was working on his man-tan when we buttered him up.

Yeah, to get down with the FUNC.

So, as a treat for you, and not to benefit me, you're gonna climb a mountain.

So, you're sending us up a mountain so we won't mess up your photo shoot? Yes! No! Oh, get out of my mind! As I was saying, Camp Lake Summer Camp and Lake Summer Camp Camp will race to the top of Plummet Peak.

Climbing is for apes! I told you camp was a waste of time, Mother.

No more oatmeal! I'm full! We can't climb Plummet Peak! No one can! Phony facts! Vert Ladderfeller climbed it.

Vert Ladderfeller III, of the Ladderfeller climbing dynasty, did climb Plummet Peak and planted his flag 20 years ago.

He was never heard from again.

Yeah, but he disappeared 'cause a monster lives there! Altitooth! He's a killing machine.

Machine! That may be true.

According to camp legend, a yeti-like monster with inexplicably long teeth haunts Plummet Peak, howling as he preys on clueless climbers.

You hear that howling? -Who do you think is doing that? -Harold! 'Cause that's how Altitooth howls.

Altitooth's just a campfire story.

Even if he is real, you'll be fine.

So whichever camp brings back Vert's flag wins.

-Wins what? -You win a a uh, a mystery box! What's in it is a mystery.

Yeah, yeah.

Is it a pair of socks? Or is it your greatest desire made real? It's probably socks.