You Make Me Feel (Book 2...) ✔️

27 - Close To My Heart

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Mila

I heard the door open and close downstairs after I changed the sleepy twins. I put the both of them in their cribs and shut the door.

I saw Chris walk up the steps and I went into Jr.'s room.  He was playing with his toys.

"Hey, time to sleep." I said, walking to him. He smiled at me and put his arms up.

"Up."

I smiled and picked him up. I walked out his room and carried him into my room. I put him on the bed and sat down. Chris soon walked in.

"Hey." He muttered.

" Hi." I said, softly.

"Umm I just wanted to give this to you." He said, tossing me an envelope.

"What is this for ?" I said,  inspecting the envelope.

"I got it from Trey. I don't know what is inside of it but don't read it until I leave, alright ?"

"Okay."

He walks out and I can hear his footsteps fade away. Soon as I hear the door close, I ripped open the perfect vanilla envelope.

Mila,

If you are reading this, please follow this one rule.

Don't come to see me. 

I don't want you to come see me. It's not because I don't trust you but it's just what I feel like I don't need you to see me. I don't want for you to see the man that is in jail who was supposed quit doing drugs. I was and still am a monster and I don't want you or of the kids to be caught in the middle of my drama. I pray every night for us to be together someday, I have always dreamed about it. That night with you and Kane, was all my fault.

 Some chick came up in my hotel room and I was just so mad that I didn't want to ruin our date with my anger. I told him to keep you company while I was battling with my internal thoughts. But you were sleeping with him. I blame myself everyday for it.

I know you are pregnant, shit I have known since the beginning. Karma got me in the ass, honestly. When we first started our whole lie of a relationship, I felt like we had a difference in our relationship. At first I wanted sex with you but I had to realize, you are my bestfriend and you mean so much to me. I didn't want to change our friendship to  a relationship. And the "What if " ideas came in.

Like what if we break up ? Then I lost my bestfriend. When I was sleeping around with Nicole, all I thought about was you. Honestly. And she knew that. But she never told me that she knew that you two were related. If she would've told me that, I would've cut her off. Best reason why she never told me.

When you told me that you were pregnant, I was unsure. I thought that you would've did me like I did you. But when you looked at me with those tears, I knew it was true. I was in shock. I pushed you away because I remember William saying that I would never be a good father. He said I would always end up like him.

When you disappeared, I shut down completely. I was just lost without you. I looked for you everywhere and never slept. I don't think you know this but once I heard about the news about you coming back, I rushed to your house and climbed through the window. Then I saw your stomach. I kissed the babies and kissed your lips and left. I know that I sound like a creep but I kept doing it. I took the time to see you when no one else was.

Then I saw that Jake nigga beside you.  I never liked that nigga in the first place.  I bet you never knew that he stole all the money in your account. I put all the money back in there. I got Chris and a couple hood niggas to torture him. I found out any and everything he never told you. As you know he had a wife. But he had a little girl also who was about five when they left. She claimed that she took half of their money but she took almost all of it but a penny, literally. Apparently she left a note saying that he treated her like a penny but not like the 999,999.99 in his account.  He took your money so when he left you, he would have it all. His wife's name was Christina and his daughter name was Kirsten.

I felt bad when I knew you were struggling with three kids and it was wrong of me to leave you like that. That night, you made me the happiest man in the world.  No woman has ever made me feel like that. Every word I said that night was true. All I felt was happiness when we started to get back together and I knew you wanted a title. But I never gave it to you and I apologize for that.

I found about the whole cheating thing by Jr giving me your phone because you had got a text message. I remember seeing that name Daddy Kane, I was pissed. I put in your passcode and went through the text messages. I was already annoyed and I immediately understood what you guys were texting. I didn't believe it at first but when I confronted you about it, I knew by your tears what happened. I honestly apologize of what happened that day with my threats and then physical roughness we had between each other.

 I love you and the kids. Let them know about me. You might want to check your accounts the day after you get this letter.

But you will always be in my heart.

Trey.

I shakily closed the letter and held it close to my heart, laying down.

I held the letter to my heart, physically and emotionally.

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