Howlite (English ver.)

Chapter III - Rising Thoughts

     "Don’t you see that you're destroying the life on this planet?!"

     As I recalled what Rose had said, I started to argue with myself:
What did Rose Quartz mean by "destroying life"? We were creating life! She must be flawed. What kind of Gem rebels against the Diamonds?!

     But, anyway, her defect is her own, thank the stars. I don’t even need to think about it, in fact, I'm going to stop thinking about all of this right now!
     I wouldn’t gain anything by thinking about it, but I wouldn’t lose anything either…
     No, wait. Yes, I would, I could be shattered for it!
     But Rose Quartz is still intact, right?
Correcting: she's intact FOR NOW... when the Diamonds get their hands on her she'll be shattered, for sure. Her and that crazy Pearl of hers!
     Nothing made sense anymore. Why would Rose Quartz risk herself to save some random planet? She left everything she knew on Homeworld to live as a refugee on Earth. And, apparently, she's nothing like the legends said. They said she was an organic beast that vowed to destroy all gems, but she wasn't human; others said she came from a line of defective quartzes; there were many speculations but nothing seemed to match what she was in person.

     I was so confused by these new feelings leading to new thoughts, I don't know if I was happy or angry to have been interrupted when Emerald assigned me to another mission:

– Howlite, now you're going to Planet C4n15 in Quadrant 7 to ensure that the finalization is completed and the gems can emerge without problems.

– Roger that!

– And, as an escort, you will have three Rubies.

     When I heard that my "escort" would be three Rubies, I had to try really hard not to laugh. Unfortunately, Emerald noticed:

– What are you laughing at?

– Nothing. Sorry, Emerald. - at least I "managed" to disguise it.

     But, the real challenge was hiding the urge to laugh throughout the entire mission. What was funny is that the Rubies are all small, so I was bigger than my escort! And besides being small, they are kind of... dimwitted. One in every six Rubies are smart (according to the Peridots, who are experts on Kindergartens of all kinds). So I was, in addition to being taller, smarter than my escort hahaha I should have been escorting them. And they are also short-tempered, they are cute and adorable!

     But then one of them noticed:
– Any problems, Howlite? - she asked suspiciously

– None, Ruby. All under control - looking down to talk to her made me want to laugh so much

– What are you laughing at? - She noticed, darn it.

– Laughing? Me? Never! This is just a way... to predict the future better! - please be one of the dumb ones

– Ohhh okay! Why didn't you say so? Ha ha

     Just as she was beginning to buy it, another Ruby came over. I think she was one of the smart ones:

– Strange... I've never seen Sapphires do that... - Okay, she got me

– Okay, okay... I was laughing because you guys are so cute hahahaha

– WHAT?!
– We are not cute!
– Yeah, we're not cute!

     Them trying to prove they weren’t cute was sooooooo cute!

– you're right hahaha sorry, you're not cute hahaha

– THEN STOP LAUGHING AT US AAAAAH

     Then they started to heat up and the damage wasn’t so cute. BUT what matters is that the mission was very successful and we all returned safely to Homeworld, I just got a bit of singed hair but everything is fine when it ends well, right? And since I would do the report when we got back, no one besides us needed to know about my… little moment of loss of control. But, that day, I discovered that in addition to being small, hot-headed, and cute, Rubies are very talkative! And when I thought everything was okay:

– Howlite, one of the Rubies that were sent with you on the last mission, said you couldn't stop “laughing” at them. And you didn't tell me this in the report.

– I'm sorry. Emerald. It’s just they are smaller than me hahaha and were assigned to protect me hahaha isn’t that funny? HAHAHAHA

– I was the one who chose them.

     When she said that, and I realized I was laughing at one of my commander's orders, I can assure you the urge passed. Then my hands started to get cold and all I could do was try to apologize.

     Then, disappointed, she whispered:
– Enough, Howlite…

– What?...

– I said enough, Howlite! This is the second time you screw up on a mission! First, you couldn't predict the rebels would attack because you were distracted by some random human, yes, I found out about your side conversations on Earth! And now you mock Rubies?!

– I wasn’t mocking, I just…

– SILENCE! - she yelled - I should report all this to the Diamonds! But, you know, I like you Howlite. You are good at what you do. But if you keep this up, there’s nothing I can do. You are a Gem of a relatively high position in the Empire's hierarchy and you must act like it! You must be focused, responsible, and committed to the missions. So stop acting like an Amethyst and, above all, stop disappointing me!

– Yes, Emerald! It won’t happen again.

– It better not. You are dismissed.

     I would say that was the worst moment of my life, but no, being in front of the Diamonds on the verge of being shattered, was much worse. But I had never felt so failed. I failed my commander. I failed my planet. I failed my purpose, myself.