MXTX Incorrect Quotes

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Characters reactions to being called straight:
Luo Binghe: The fuck, no I'm not.
Shen Yuan: Excuse the hell out of you?
Wei Wuxian: Ding dong, you are wrong!
Xie Lian: Who told you that? And why did they lie?
Lan Wangji: Rude.
Hua Cheng: *punches the person*

Xie Lian, holding a gun: If the conspiracies about life being a simulation are true, WHOEVER IS CONTROLLING MY SIM, I JUST WANNA TALK.

Wei Wuxian: My level of gay has reached "sighing deeply whenever anything extremely heterosexual happens near me".

Feng Xin: *slams books down in front of Mu Qing*
Feng Xin: Boil up some Mountain Dew. It's gonna be a long night.
Mu Qing: You could of said literally anything else.
Feng Xin: Cauldron boil and cauldron bubble, Baja Blast to fuel my trouble.
Mu Qing: I'm going to just stop challenging you when you say random shit. I won't win. I realise this now.

Wei Wuxian: There are 20 letters in the alphabet, right?
Lan Wangji: No, there's 26.
Wei Wuxian: Ah, I must have forgotten U, R, A, Q, T.
Lan Wangji: That's cute, but you're still missing one.
Wei Wuxian: You'll get the D later ;).

Nie Huaisang: So I got this amazing plan!
Wei Wuxian: We fail almost every time you say that.
Nie Huaisang: Well this is the same! But with a hamster involved.

Shen Yuan: You get turned back into a baby but you retain all your skills and memory, what do you do?
Shang Qinghua: Eat a nickel.
Shen Yuan: A reminder: You have retained all your skills and memories.
Shang Qinghua: Eat a nickel.
Shen Yuan: Ok.

Luo Binghe: The only thing I'm guilty of is being adorable... ...and also assault with a deadly weapon.

Jiang Cheng: My bad, It's a knee jerk response.
Wei Wuxian, holding Lan Wangji's unconscious body: WHOSE KNEE JERK RESPONSE IS TO START THROWING BRICKS AT SOMEONE???

Yu Ziyuan, dashing into the room: WHY AREN'T THE DISHES IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER?!
Wei Wuxian: ...What does that even mean?!

*Shi Qingxuan falls through the ceiling, landing near Xie Lain*
Shi Qingxuan: Hey, Lian!
Xie Lian: Hey, Wind Master!
Shi Qingxuan: ...that hurt.

Jun Wu: How is the most beautiful man in the world?
Mei Nianqing: *blushing* I—
Hua Cheng, butting into the conversation: Gege is perfect, thanks for asking.

Shi Qingxuan: Ming-xiong! I can't do this stupid math!
He Xuan: What's the math problem?
Shi Qingxuan: Well, we have to add the bed, subtract the clothes divide the legs, and hope we don't multiply.
Hua Cheng, covering Xie Lian's ears, while He Xuan smacks Shi Qingxuan upside the head: Not going to lie that was hella smooth.

Wei Wuxian: The waiter at Olive Garden has been grating my cheese for 6 hours now, waiting for me to say when. Customers are screaming. Three people have died.
Wei Wuxian: I will not yield.

Wei Wuxian: *Pulls a glass a water from out of nowhere*
Lan Wangji: Where did you get that?
Wei Wuxian: My pocket.
Lan Wangji: How do you keep a glass of water in your pocket?
Wei Wuxian: Skills.

Shang Qinghua: This should be illegal!
Shen Yuan: It is.

*Beefleaf has just arrived in a new city. He Xuan looks around at the wanted posters to see if he's on any of them.*
Shi Qingxuan: Ming-xiong, are you a criminal?
He Xuan: Not here, I'm not!

Jiang Cheng: Where did Wei Ying go?
Lan Wangji: He got arrested.
Jiang Cheng: How the hell-
Wei Wuxian: *bursts in through the window* The cops are after me, I thought it would be fun to steal crackers and throw them at people.

Mobei-Jun: Can you pass the salt?
Sha Hualing: Can you pass away?
Mobei-Jun: Too much salt.

Shi Qingxuan, texting He Xuan: Text me when you're home safely.
He Xuan: I'm home dangerously.
Shi Qingxuan: Stop it.
He Xuan: I'm home lethally.

Shen Yuan: Two brooooos!
Luo Binghe: Chillin' in a hot tub!
Shen Yuan: Five feet apart 'cause we're not gay!
Luo Binghe: ...
Shen Yuan: ...
Luo Binghe: *tearing up*
Shen Yuan: Babe, c'mon...
Luo Binghe: AND HERE YOU REALLY HAD ME THINKING WE HAD SOMETHING.
Shen Yuan: Babe...

Jin Ling: I taught the dog a new trick. *throws ball* Fetch!
Fairy: *just stands there*
Jiang Cheng: He didn't do it.
Jin Ling: I taught him to ignore social conventions and think for himself.