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I fear that I'll die before I drink

Part 3

Tw: drugs, drinking, eating disorders (?), death, guns, (mentioned?) abuse, swearing, and mention of prosisutes. Also abbie doesn't act like abbie in this

Note: this is ment to show you that everyone has something wrong, and that we should be happy that we are all different because everyone is special in there own way. This is not ment to make anyone insecure about themselves. this was also inspired by "mad hatter" by Melanie Martinez

please don't read if sensitive to any of these. I would heavily recommend skipping this chapter bc its gonna be sad af, and it talks about sensitive topics. But if you do stay, dont leave any comments being like "what the fuck is wrong with you" or something like that. I will block you, or delete your comment

I promise that a request will come out as soon as I finish

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It was 9:16, abbie was running up his stairs. He had an abusive relationship with his father. Often he would get hurt when he came home with a bad grade. The only one who cared for him is lana. Giving him toys and sometimes food. He also worked 4 part time jobs to support him and his father. While his father has a job of being a mechanic, he wastes his money on drugs and alcohol. And the rest of his money goes into an account that he uses for sex workers AND MORE DRUGS. Abbie wished his life was perfect like engels. Sure, he loves his brother, but no one loves him for who he is. The only reason he is not dead yet is because he has not painted on a canvas, ran a marathon, and became a nurse. His dream job was a nurse, he wanted to run a marathon to show his family that he could do something. And he loves art.

His brother was an illegal gambler. Being only 17, but he was very selfish and kept all the money to himself. Not even buying something for abbie, knowing damn well he is not eating anything except what Lana gives to him, and what he cooks (when not crying). So, put two & two together, and you get an insecure, malnourished, 15 year old that is often mistaken for a girl and hit on by random sexist assholes when he walks home from school. He wished that his mommy was still here.

Abbie often locked his door to stay safe.

He shouldn't have to in his own home

But he has to, and that's the worst part.

....

He doesn't even have a place to call "safe" or "home" because nowhere is safe for him. Not even when he's with Lana.

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Abbies POV:

I got up to my room. I slammed and locked the door as fast as I could. Dad didn't even try to break the door. Guess he drank to much

Like always

But oh well, I stopped giving fucks when I was 13. I looked down at my watch and realized I was gonna be late to my final shift if I didn't leave. But I didn't want to come to work all bloody, so I jumped out my window and ran over to the kindergarten. If you didn't know, I leave school early so I can help miss Sasha with the little kids. My favorite one is diana, the half goat looking thing that screamed when she lost at any game. We are not suppose to chose favorites, but I dont give a shit if I'm being honest. Which, I am. I walk up to the kindergarten doors and I bring out my phone, making sure Oliver didn't fuck up my face too much, which he didn't, so I'm glad. I put on the pink apron and put my phone into my bag and started walking into the building. "Hi!" I say. All the kids look at me and start hugging me. Even chip, the brain dead one, hugged my ankle. He was shorter than everyone else. Must run in the family, because zip is 5'4. Oh wait. I'm 5'2. SHIT. Oh well. The kids are lovely and lively! I look around to find Diana in the corner, awh man, she can't play today I guess. Now that I think of it, she looks like her parents own at least twenty guns. I'm probably wrong though, just wanted to throw that in. "Guess what I brought for us to play with today!" I yell across the class. Miss Sasha looks at me and nods a yes to me as she leaves for a vape break. If you also didn't know, most teachers have some sort of addiction. Weather it be drugs or smoking, almost every teacher has an addiction. To be honest, I also have an addiction. Its overwhelming myself for no reason other than fun.

You can call me crazy or mad for that, but I don't really care. And that's what people don't notice. The only thing they seem to notice is my crybaby tears. God I hate almost everything about me. Why am I so short? Why am I built like a sex worker? Why do I look like a girl? Why am I a crybaby? Am I the reason mama is dead? Am I the reason why no one wants to hang out with Lana? Am I the reason Lana is dead? I probably am. I'm stupid and emotional. I cry alot. Fuck, if you didn't know it was just me crying at the beach, you would think a fucking tsunami is coming. I love my hair. Lana loved my hair. Every girl loves my hair for some reason. Its really annoying when a random person comes up and touches my grease y ass hair. And do you want to know something more annoying?

When a 50 year old white man that probably has a wife and kids comes up and tries to grab my ass, mistaking me for a girl! Dont fucking touch me, you creep. I honestly hate anyone like this, the victims do not deserve this. Another thing that is annoying is when random people that just came out of bars try to have sex with me, thinking I'm A prositute. Like, sure, I think pole dancing would be fun, I'm not doing it for anyone but myself.

"I brought clay!" I say as everyone kid cheers and Diana hugs me "I'll be back in a second, no one touch the clay or you don't play with it" that made the kids shut the fuck up. I went out and brought out a vape, as a gift for miss Sasha taking care of me when I needed it. Damn, she acts more like a parent then my father.

TBC

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Hi, I'm so sorry that I wrote this. And I'm so sorry for making Abbie so out of character. It was a mistake at first then I stopped caring. This was also rushed a bit because I need sleep, and I have to run half a marathon tmr.

Words: 1161