Cracks beneath the surface || Kiyotaka x Shiro

Under the glassy sky

Why do people give up? Is it because they belive they cannot achive victory? Or is it because they belive their loss is guarenteed?

Those two conditions are paper-thin in terms of their similiarity, but once you look into where they come from they couldn't possibely be more different. The ideas and impacts they have on the person differ, at least in my personal experience.

One worships the idea of victory, and doesn't allow oneself to experience genuine loss. Thus, the person gives up their fight willingly - possibly to control the damage, or to keep their ego in tact.

The other one worships the idea of desperate indomitability, the desire to never feel defeated. However by avoiding the responsibility of their actions, the person tries to drag out their inevitable end as long as possible.

Which are fitting to what condition - is still a mystery. But possibly both can apply at the same time.

For me, a person who was once worth nothing, those two couldn't be any more different. But the truth it ultimately leads to is that both people give up due to their mindsets. Why is that?

In my journey to understand this question, I first questioned myself about the meaning of victory and loss. Is one surperior over the other? I myself belive so. A person who is victorious means a person who achives their goal, reaches levels of satisfaction normal humans would never even consider and potentially forever impacts the world. Perphaps it is due to our human activity bias, but the idea of not trying your hardest in your own personal conquests seems like an insult to all life.

It's a no-brainer for myself. What is the point of a life in which you don't try your hardest?

Truthfully, I don't consider myself a normal person. Perphaps that's why I'm overly sensetive to things such as losing. Even now, when observing the changing landscape from the safety of my seat, I think about things other people don't even consider.

Let's take a look at the middle-aged woman, one who was so brave for standing up for the  elderly lady. Pointing out the inequality in the behaviour of the overly narcissistic man sitting on the priority seat, she presented her worldview in a perfectly reasonble matter. After hearing her arguments people should start to consider her words.. Maybe in a few seconds somebody will let the old lady take their place.

But, her story wasn't so perfect. The blonde boy, whom she scrutinized seconds before, stood up for himself aswell and masterfully retored her arguments in a way which didn't allow for any further questioning. Indeed - any person seeing their interaction would instantly understand just how stuck up he was in his own belifes. It would be pointless to argue with him - I'm sure these kinds of thoughts consumed everyone's minds as they continued to pretend they don't hear anything.

This is why we are never able to achive anthing substantional. Was the lady scared of  further humiliation? Was her ego hurt by the words of a mere highschooler? Or has she already exhausted all of her options in a fight? I am no mind reader, but I belive the reason for her retreat is one of those options.

Backing out on your own - to me, it is the same as losing. And people lose in many, many ways. When everyone else sees the blue sky, I see a glassy ceiling that waits to be broken. When everyone sees the limits of their abilities, I see my own potential. Where others see loss, I see a  chance to learn. Perphaps that is the reason I am different from others.

Seeing how everybody acted the same way as me and ignored the situation with a guilty conscience, I didn't do anything. I could stand up and offer the old lady my seat, but I somewhat agreed with the blond haired boy's words.