If You (A Daragon Thing)

The fifth and the last stage: ACCEPTANCE

The fifth and the last stage: ACCEPTANCE

I didn't realize how month have passed. Somehow, I forgot about it... about being hurt. I think I was in the process of moving on. I started to accept slightly those rumors to be a fact. Maybe it was really true, but a small part of me thinks it might be not. Who knows, right? Since both of the company doesn't confirm anything. But then again, what should still be confirming to, anyway? Why would they still confirm it when the pictures say it all. Common sense, I think that's what they want to say. They are happy and they are dating. Period. Though I don't really support them, but then I learned how to accept it. You can take it seriously and you can take it sarcastically. I guarantee both. I guess, I was too tired to be hurt that's why I don't care about the rumors and more dating pictures about them anymore. They're dating? Go, date. When the issue about Dara and Soohyun happened, I was somehow shocked. Like yeah, it can and it can't be true because Dara had cameos over Soohyun's two hit dramas. Maybe they were just good friends so I don't jump to conclusion. If they're really dating, then it's good. They're on the right age REALLY, plus Soohyun is a good man too. It's so ironic how I totally accept the Dara-Soohyun issue so easily but the GD-Kiko thing took me so long to accept that. I think I just became so worn-out that I don't want to care anymore. Days passed and I felt like nothing. Big Bang's comeback started! I was too blissful to see Tabi once again. Fangirling days again. M passed and A passed. Then the teasers of D came out and I was too eager to listen to it. YG said the song 'If You' was by far the saddest song of Big Bang. It was said to be really meaningful, huh. Then when it was released, I first listened to it before reading the translation. It took me by surprise, really. I was aware that it'll be a sad song but I didn't expect it'll be with so much emotion that I can almost feel the pain. I haven't read the translation yet, take note. But I can already feel its pain. And I don't know why, but Dara came to my mind so suddenly that time. I had to read the translation of it. And I was surprised that it fits right. I kept asking myself that time, am I being delusional for some second? But I think I was not. I just suddenly felt that the song was for her. It can't be Kiko. Why? It's because she and GD are still dating, right? So it can't be her. All I think was Dara without solid evidence that it was really for her. I don't know, I just feel it was for her.

She is leaving
And I can't do anything
Love is leaving
Like a fool, I'm blankly standing here

I'm looking at her, getting farther away
She becomes a small dot and then disappears
Will this go away after time passes?
I remember the old times
I remember you

IF YOU
IF YOU
If it's not too late
Can't we get back together?
IF YOU
IF YOU
If you're struggling like I am
Can't we make things a little easier?
I should've treated you better when I had you

How about you?
Are you really fine?
Guess our break up is setting
I should forget you but it's not easy

On days where thin rain falls like today
I remember your shadow

Our memories that I secretly put in my drawer
I take them out and reminisce again by myself

Why didn't I know
About the weight of sadness that comes with breaking up?

Let's admit this. There was really Daragon, in the past, maybe. And maybe it was also a long relationship. I'm not asking you to open your mind for it, but I think at some point, it was a real fact. Daragon has always been a mystery. But I bet it was real. Come to think of it, you can already feel the awkwardness between them. I mean, that's not the typical Daragon from the last time. There were also no more signs, no more public conversations, no more hints. It only left the pain. "Why didn't I know about the weight of sadness that comes with breaking up?" Who else, right? I guess my questions from before were now answered. Those evidences, those teases and confessions, those meaningful smiles, those intense stares, those hints from before... I think it was now answered. That there was once a Daragon. But what gets me in about this meaningful song was the hope of the guy (and as we know, GD composed the song). "If it's not too late, can't we get back together?" it's like, in my own opinion, he was hoping. And if it's really true that it was for Dara, then it's a secret declaration that there was once a Daragon and that Jiyong was hoping for them to grow back together? But of course, I'm not jumping onto that conclusion because I know and I'm quite aware he's still dating Mizuhara. "I should forget you but it's not easy." He's really in love with whom whoever he's dedicating it to. "I should've treated you better when I had you." And I think this was also a declaration of regrets. Well then, girl, whoever you are, whether you were really Dara or not, you were one of a lucky girl. I was also thinking about the certain reviews about the thing that why was the song has been putted on the D series when it can be on A or E or M. It can be really intended but it can also be coincidental. I don't know. GD knows.

But thanks to this song, If You somehow proved that Daragon was real. It's not that I'm still going to hold still but I guess because of this song, I can finally let go of this feeling. It's not because I was too tired but because this gave me the satisfaction that once there was Daragon and once, this bad boy wants her girl back. I can finally have my heart in peace. Because of this song, I was 99% that Daragon was real, and I'm happy for it. I will always be a Daragon shipper no matter what. But of course, we have to face the reality that sometimes, they can't be together. And maybe we don't know, maybe they can grow back together, right? I do hope. I'll let go of them. But I will always be right here to support whatever decisions they will choose. J Kkeut.

@eseuji