Try Again - Erkenci Kus AU

A Risk

Can's P.O.V

My heart falls to my feet, as I open my bedroom door and see a distraught Sanem holding the files from my desk. Her skin has gone pale, and her posture shows that she is about to run. Her beautiful face is covered with fear, and my body trembles as I worry about how to fix this. 

I gently close the door, and whisper her name. I grab the files back and put them to the side. She looks in shock, and I softly seat her on the chair. She sobs softly, and my eyes well up too. She cries uncontrollably, and I hold her in my arms. I let the tears fall out of my eyes as I hold what has become my world in my arms. 

"I didn't read them Sanem," I whisper. 

"I will tell you anything and everything you want to know, but please don't hate me Sanem. I just wanted to help, I thought maybe I could. I know I crossed a line, I know I have no right to make a place in your life, but Sanem I would do anything to protect those I love, and since that day at the gallery you have become everything to me." I continue to whisper.

"I'm so sorry, please forgive me," I say as the tears keep falling. 

Her eyes are closed as she weeps into her chest. A strangled sob escapes me as I rub her arms, attempting to look at me.

"Sanem, please, just look at me. You can yell if you want, scream, curse my name, but please don't stay quiet." I whisper to her.

She opens her eyes and looks into mine. 

"You shouldn't have done that Can. That past, that file, whatever you learned is my past. It belongs to me, and I should have the right to share it to who and when I am ready to." She whispers, staring past me to the desk behind us. 

"I know I lied, I know the way this unravelled isn't right, but that gives you no right to dig up my past." She continues to me, and I feel my heart throb in agony. 

I know I crossed a line many weeks ago. I know I wasn't right to delve into her life without her knowledge or consent. 

"How did you find out?" She croaks.

"I saw some items in my father's possession that had to do with you, and that just led me down the rabbit hole. But Sanem, he does not know this okay? He never told me, or Emre or my mother. I was the one who overstepped." I tell her.

"It was stupid of me to think it would stay hidden." She whispers, looking at her feet. "I just wanted to start over;  I wanted to be free and normal and treat my past like a bad nightmare. Now that it's out, I can't do that." She says.

"You opened a door that I can't close Can." She says. 

"I did, you're right. But Sanem, that door was never closed. Whatever it is you're running from it hasn't ended. And even though I have no right, I want to help protect you Sanem. Somehow in all of this, I find myself rested in you, like everything makes sense with you." I say.

I bring myself closer and rest my forehead against hers as we both weep.

"Your problems are mine, your fears are mine and I just want a chance to help fix this Sanem. Your past doesn't paint you weaker, it makes you who you are. You're such a beautiful story Sanem, and everything is a part of who you are. I want it all; the good and the bad." I whisper to her as I hold her head with my hands, softly pushing her hair back and holding her cheeks softly.

"Do you feel it too Can?" She whispers; I hum in response.

She slowly rests her hand on my chest, "Why do I feel so connected to you?" she continues.

She looks into my eyes now, and brings one hand up to my neck, bringing us closer. I rest on my knees to be at her face level. I let my hand slide to her neck and bring my face to rub into the space between her neck and shoulder.

I push her hair back and plant a soft kiss where her neck meets her shoulders. I move my nose up her neck, planting soft kisses until I reach her cheek.

"Because we are connected Sanem. Even if you don't want to be mine, I want to be yours. I already am". I whisper out. 

Her eyes meet mine and she moves her hands to my cheeks, rubbing my beard softly. Her left hand stays on my cheek, while her right-hand moves to my forehead, eyes, and nose, softly tracing each item. I feel my heart beat out of my chest, as her fingers skim over my lips. She moves in closer, and her lips just touch mine.

She pulls back an inch and looks into my eyes before crushing her lips to mine. 

Her soft lips move over mine as if we have done this for ages. Her lips part, and I seek out her tongue, caressing her gorgeous mouth with my own. I pull back to take her bottom lip in between my teeth. I hold her closer, as her chest crushes my own. She moves her hands into my hair and pulls out my hairband. She runs her hands through my now loose locks, and I groan in response. Our kiss is heated, and passionate and clears all doubts in our minds.

We pull back for air. She closes her eyes again and brings my hands to her face. 

I leave small kisses all over her cheeks, forehead and nose. 

"I'm so scared Can." She whispers as more tears spring from our eyes.

"I know. I am too, but I promise to you, I am here as long as you'll have me." I whisper. 

Our eyes meet, and I pull her in for another soft kiss. I brush her lips and gently press her pouted mouth. I could stay here forever.

"You're safe now," I whisper as I hug her tight. Sanem returns the strength of the hug, as we both cry into each other's shoulders.