Do I Wanna Know?

２. Tadpoled - Astarion

Note: Salem is drastically different after she has had her mind destroyed by Orin, and the tadpole inserted.

"I don't understand what the issue is, Astarion..." Salem huffed as she watched her companion wrap her injured forearm. They had just gotten back from an encounter with Knolls and whilst everyone else was fine, she was not. A large gash was across her left forearm from trying to block an attack.

"The issue is, you stupidly threw yourself at that Knoll, darling. As much as I enjoy patching you up, I don't enjoy seeing you hurt." Astarion murmured, securing the bandage around her forearm. "You're a good fighter, but not when you're going in so blindly." He added.

Salem rolled her eyes, retracting her arm once Astarion finished. She looked over his work, and sighed. "It was an accident, I saw it too late, it happens to the best of us."

Things fell silent between the two, Astarion cleaning up the mess from the bandages and medical supplies, Salem sitting and watching him. She noticed the annoyance in his expression, and she partially wondered if that was because he was mad at her or mad about what had happened... Perhaps both.

Eventually, she spoke up. "You're mad at me," she decided, crossing her arms. She seemed set on that conclusion, and like she wouldn't budge.

Astarion scoffed, shaking his head. "I'm not mad, my dear.." his tone held some firmness, finality... "Why would you think that?"

Salem didn't answer, and this prompted Astarion to look at her... His crimson eyes narrowed as he took in her features, trying to read what was going on in her mind. "You're being insecure again." He decided, now closing the little medkit.

"I am not insecure. I don't know what you're talking about." Salem grumbled, face flushing as her gaze flickered away. "I have never, not once in my life, been insecure about myself."

"And yet, you ask at least once daily if I still care about you," Astarion taunted softly, gently taking her hands between his own. "The answer is yes, by the way. I still do. Though, that stays between us," he winked.

Salem bit her lip, her eyes flickering over his features as he spoke. He wasn't wrong, she was feeling insecure, especially since she felt he was mad at her for being so clumsy... Though, she'd rather this kind of insecurity than the frequent feelings of not feeling pretty enough, or slim enough for him... Those thoughts were often ever present in her mind, always the first thing she thought of when she woke, and the last when she fell asleep...

Astarion noticed her expression and sighed, crossing his arms and leaning back. "What's wrong?" His face held a softness that she had never seen from him before.

"It's stupid, don't worry about it." Salem murmured, standing up from the log she sat. "I'll be fine, thank you for patching me up"

"You're a horrible liar." Astarion stood as well, taking her by the hand and leading her to his tent. "Sit," he gestured inside his tent at one of the stools in there.

Salem hesitated, but she listened, entering his tent and taking a seat. She hadn't been in his tent before, the two often spending time in her tent... Her eyes took in how he'd decorated his little space, smiling faintly at how cozy it was.

Astarion entered the tent after a moment, holding a bottle of wine and two goblets. He sat down on the other stool and poured the wine into the glasses. Once done, he placed the bottle on the floor then offered one of the goblets to her.

Salem took the wine, then took a long sip. Her nose scrunched up at the bitter taste, but she made no comments about it. She still wore that unsettled, anxious expression.

"Now, you're going to tell me what has you so bothered. Talk to me like... Well, like you would Shadowheart," Astarion decided. "You're always going to her about your issues." He added. "Pretend I'm her... But you know, with better hair," he smirked.

Salem couldn't help but laugh, and slowly, she allowed herself to relax, though her gaze was on her wine. "I just don't feel good enough," she murmured, trying to pretend she was venting to her best friend, instead of her lover. Well, one of her lovers. "I'm worried I'm too clumsy, or too... Fat" she groaned.

Astarion didn't say anything, keeping his eyes on her as she spoke. He'd listen, but he didn't agree with anything she was saying. He found he was rather fond of the elf sitting before him. He saw nothing wrong with her, she was a work of art to him.

"I don't know, it's just stupid, it doesn't help that there's these like... Episodes I have, I guess, just sudden bouts of like self importance and violence, because once it slips I just feel.... Disgusting." Salem explained, before she took a long swig from her wine. She groaned.

"Darling," Astarion sighed, shaking his head. "You are not too 'fat' or 'clumsy' or disgusting." He decided, reaching out to take her here hand with his own. He gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "Honest, if I thought ill of you, you would know it. I know we tease each other, that's our dynamic but I do care greatly about you." He paused, giving her time to mull over his words. "You are perfect, exactly as you are, insatiable bloodlust, curves and all." He promised.

Salem couldn't help but smile, but she kept her eyes on her wine. "You're... Thank you" she mumbled, shaking her head with a huff. "I'm such an idiot"

"Well, you said it, not me" Astarion smirked, letting go of her hand. He didn't love when she got insecure but he understood. It wasn't like he hadn't had moments like that, he was sure everybody did, that it was just a part of living.

Salem shot him a look, though it was playful. "You're ridiculous,"

"Oh, I know darling" Astarion chuckled, taking a long sip from his wine. "Now, are we done wallowing in self pity?"

"I guess we are," Salem grumbled, moving from the stool to settle on Astarion's bedroll. She placed her wine down off to the side where it wouldn't get knocked over. "Come here,"

Astarion placed his own wine down and joined her in his bedroll, sitting beside her and wrapping his arm around her shoulder to pull her close against him. He rested his head against hers once she laid her head on his shoulder.

There was silence for a long while between the two, both just enjoying the company of the other. They often had moments like this where they would just enjoy the peace and quiet, cuddled up together...

"Thank you, you always know how to set my mind straight" Salem eventually muttered, her eyes shut as she rested against her lover. She was comfortable, and felt safe.

"Of course, darling... You deserve mental clarity, amidst the mess that has been your mind" Astarion sighed, kissing the top of her head. "For better or worse, I'm here"

"I'm here."

Some soft Astarion lovelies -an