So High School

what's left behind

My brother and I have done everything together since the day we were born, everything until that Friday night in April, we have been training like crazy for an important match that would give us enough points to play in the Roland Garros this year, since I have won the Australia open early this year and Henry being at the top 5, all the media said we were making a legacy, no one could stop us now, not after the amazing scores we did last year, winning almost every tournament we played in, all eyes were on us.

It was like a dream for me, the most important brands wanted to firm contracts with us, we were modeling all over the world and getting invited to the most relevant social events of the year.

But I was tired, and I didn't wanted to go to that party, Henry insisted but I could barely move my legs, I was sos fucking tired, that I said no. But he still went with his stupid friends, just because he had a massive crush in the girl who was hosting the party.

I just went to sleep like any other day, even watched some episodes of Doctor Who before I fell completely asleep.

3AM

I started to hear the sound of my phone ringing and a knock on the door that was loud enough to wake up the whole building, I rubbed my eyes and reached for my phone while I got out of the bed and walked to the door, I recognized my best friend voice, desperate trying to make me pick up the phone.

"Put on some shoes, Henry is in the hospital" was the first thing she said, I could notice her eyes were red, but my sleepy brain couldnt process what she was saying.

"Ailen this is not funny" I said rubbing my eyes.

She grabbed my hand and pulled me out of my apartment

"Hey what the fuck?" I complained trying to get my hand out of his grip but she was holding me way too hard

"Henry and his friends crashed when they were leaving the party" she said while she drag me into the parking lot.

There was no way, he would never ever drive while being drunk, he would never do it. But when reality started sinking in I felt my heart drop. And I couldn't breathe.

"Please get in the car we have to get there" Ailen said and I could hear her voice shaky.

I nodded and opened the door getting in his car, but my head felt like spinning, this has to be a nightmare, that's what I keep saying, even now.

The funeral was ridiculously full of people, it seemed like all the town was here, except for our parents, my goddamn parents couldn't even look at me after he died, they put all the blame on me. My mother even blocked me from Facebook.

Everyone tried to ask me questions, everyone wanted to know what had happened to him I couldn't talk, every time I tried to open my mouth nothing came out. Ailen came to my rescue pulling me out of the crew, and locked me in my bedroom, I was still in shock.

She sat next to me on the bed and hugged me as I silently cried, I felt empty, Henry was my twin, my best friend in the entire fucking world and he died, while probably being mad at me.

And that's how my castles started crumbling,

I locked myself in his room, barely eating or sleeping just desperately waiting for this nightmare to be over, waiting for him to open the door and asked me what was I doing In his room, telling me to get the fuck out of it before I painted it pink, and I would just hug him and tell him how much I loved him, but that never happened.

Ailen and Zach were the only ones who constantly tried to make me get out of there, the rest of my friends disappeared after they realized how pathetic I had become. And suddenly it was May.

"It isn't too late, you can still play at the Roland Garros , you can win for Henry, everyone is waiting for you" Ailen tried to reassure me, ive been two weeks like this, drowning in my own tears.

"I don't care about fucking tennis" I said not even turning my face to look at her.

"I know how you feel-"

"No you don't" I interrupted Zach when he started talking.

"Henry wouldn't want this, he-"

"He's dead, it doesn't matter what he wanted" I got out of the bed and walked to the bathroom to cry alone.

I appreciated that they both wanted to help but right now I just wanted to die, I didn't even knew what I wanted, I just needed all the pain to stop permanently. But I stood up placing both of my hands on the bathroom sink and looked at my face in the mirror, I count recognize my face. this wasn't me, what did I become? That's when I realized I was already dead.

I looked around at the things my brother left behind, and I could almost feel him around, he had dreams, dreams that he would never achieve. But there I was, he was a part of me but I was also a part of him, I couldn't be selfish, while I was still alive a part of him was alive too.

That's when I decided I couldn't drop everything off, I had to get the fuck up and get our lives together, since today I will be living for the two of us.